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A Burning Room Monologue

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I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to write to you. Okay, I couldn’t sleep because of you. That sounds more truthful. So now I’m grasping at your memory to be “together” in the silence and solitude of this hour. It’s 2am and I have YouTube cranked up to a whisper, playing an instrumental version of “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room” over and over again. I don’t know why that particular song, except that it fits so well in the emptiest hours of the night. And of course, I can’t stop thinking of the girl singing on the top of the hill of Dublin.

I want to tell you that I very much enjoyed our night together and I very much want to spend more time with you. The rules of coy manipulation insist that I should never say things like this. But I don’t care. …show more content…
And the point is also this: I know better, and knowing better, I want to do better. The fact is that I want to do better with you, and it’s even more true that I want to do better because of you, because you are you.

Precisely how much more seriously can I take you after a first non-date?

Well, to be brutally honest, I’m so enchanted by you that I would be devastated if I screwed this up. So I’m going to do everything I can think of on my end to make sure I DON’T screw this up. If you want me by the nostrils or, worse, by the balls, I’M GONE. Adios. Never done it, never will. But if you want me by the heart? Too early to make promises, but I am not going ANYWHERE.

I think there is something silly about a culture that encourages people to pursue “safety” in relationships based on poses and deceits. I’ve promised myself I would never do that. But really, I’m not pressuring you or hustling you or hassling you or bleeding my aching need all over your pretty black muddied boots.

I’m just telling you what’s on my mind. And that I can trust you with my thoughts is a huge [green check] in my

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