I wake up to the sound of war. It’s normal now, I’ve been here for a while. My back aches and I have mosquito bites all over my body. I’m forced to sleep on the concrete floor in my camp every night. Last night, I dreamt that I was home with my family, playing with my friends at school and eating a meal at my home. I haven’t had a real meal for so long. I know that I won’t get breakfast this morning, I haven’t eaten breakfast for a month now, since they abducted me. I get a few snacks here and there, just to keep me alive, but it’s never anything good.
My commander walks in and yells at us to line up. Everyone stands up and gets into a line, except for a young soldier who refuses to stand up. We all watch as he gets dragged outside to be tortured. Some of us try hard to hold back our tears, but the children who have been here longer, have forgotten how to feel sadness. Our commander leads us outside, and we try to keep our eyes off of the screaming boy.
It’s time to get our drugs. One by one, we get a slit cut in our arm, and the drug ‘brown brown’ rubbed into our new wound. It’s my turn. I watch as the knife slides across my arm. It hurts a little, but not as much as it did the first time. My commander rubs the cocaine and gunpowder mixture into my blood stream, and I instantly feel better. I’m addicted. I need to kill.
We march in a straight line with our AK47’s in our hands. It’s a long walk, and my legs start to ache and burn. None of us have shoes to wear, so we’ve gotten used to the sharp rocks stabbing us every time our feet hit the ground. I start to get a headache, but I know that I’ll have to fight anyway.
We stop in a forest close to a village where adult soldiers are already fighting. Our commander quietly tells us to get our guns ready. It’s time. “Attack!” We all sprint to the village. Luckily, I’m able to find a hiding spot behind an old building before anyone spots me. I put my hand on my heart and send a quick prayer to God. Maybe if I go into the building, I can just hide there until I have to go back to the camp. I try to sneak around to the other side of the building to find the entrance. My heart is beating fast. What if an enemy is around the corner? I peek around to see if there’s anyone there, and there is, but they don’t see me. I grab my gun, point it at their head and pull the trigger. I cringe as the soldier falls to ground and slowly dies. I sprint in the opposite direction, just in case anyone was coming for me.
After running for a minute, I look back. No one’s there. Time to find another hiding spot. I look around and I see one of my friends from the camp. I run over to him and we decide that we’re going to hide together. I see a ditch that’s big enough for us to fit in, and I lead him to it. My friend and I climb in. We talk for a while, but soon he falls asleep. I can’t wake him up. I know how tired he must be. I need to protect him.
Several minutes later, I hear foot steps. I peek over the dirt and see an adult. I have to do something. My friend’s life depends on it. I point my gun at the man. I shoot. As soon as I’ve pulled the trigger, I know I’ve messed up. I missed. The man quickly turns around and I duck. Why am I trying to hide? He knows I’m here. At this point, I know I’m going to die. I climb out of the ditch as quickly as possible and shoot at him two more times. The first time I miss, and the second time I get him in the leg. He falls to the ground, but that wasn’t enough to kill him. He can still shoot me. I try to wake my friend up, but I know I’m too late. I run away as quickly as possible. I’m safe, but I know my friend is going to die. Why didn’t I wake him up before? He shouldn’t be the dead one, I should be.
The rest of the day passes, and the war slows down. I finally get the chance to run back to the forest where most of the other children are. I don’t say anything about what happened, I can’t. I wait for my commander to find us and give us our drugs. Drugs always make me feel better.
When the commander arrives, he lines us up and gives us our dose of brown brown. It’s time to go back to the camp now. While we walk, I feel like I’m going to collapse. The rocks dig into my bare feet and the mosquitos bite my skin.
An hour later, we arrive at the camp and everyone goes inside. I lay down in my spot on the dirty concrete and close my eyes. Even though my body aches, my stomach is empty and I have the thought of my dead friend in my mind, I manage to fall asleep.