A Wish and A Dream
May 8, 2012 at 7:30am
Whenever I make wishes there always the same,
And there always in your name.
Today I wished that I had one last day,
To hear your voice, even if I don’t know what to say.
It’s been 2 years since you died and I can’t recall your face,
I can’t remember your loving embrace. Whenever I close my eyes the flash backs hit me like a bad dream.
The sound of the phone ringing, the crying on the other line, it was extreme.
I recall my cousin’s voice, mumbling the words,
I couldn’t fight the tears streaming down my cheek.
The drive to the hospital felt like hours,
My whole body felt numb and weak. I close my eyes, and I can still see,
My loved ones surrounding me.
I’m pacing back and forth through the halls,
Crying in bathroom stalls.
My mind about to make the toughest choice,
But I feel like I have no voice. I can still hear the sound of your last breathe,
The painful sound of death.
The rise and fall of your chest,
Wishing god would put you to rest. I did not let you go alone; I was with you till the end.
And for that my heart can never mend.
And just when I thought you had gone, you’d gasp for air.
I held your hand, I told you I loved you, and I sat in that chair. When it was all over, I ran to brother’s side,
I just wanted to curl up and hide. Last night I dreamed of the night you died,
I jerked awake so fast and cried.
I held my head in shame,
Feeling like I was to blame. Every time I walk down the gravel to your grave,
I prep myself and try to be brave.
But a million times I wish it was me,
To trade places and set your soul free.