...started hitting them on their heads with the plastic bag of hamburger buns. It was funny. If you'd known my grandmother, how defined by hardship her life was, you would have found this incident even funnier. My father, who knew his mother's struggles all too well, had to lean against a tree because he was laughing so hard. Sweet mercy, there is nothing like humor to ease the soul. If you've got a funny story, poem, or essay of your own, here are some places that might be a good fit. Enjoy! THE ALARMIST is a fresh, new, dark, funny and twisted printed literary magazine published biannually. It’s not about trying to prove how clever or well-read you are, mind – we’re not the Paris Review. We want to buck the modern trend, and tickle and entertain with what we publish. ASININE POETRY is the journal of asinine poetry, a quarterly publication of asinine poetry, poetry that is, shall we say, asinine. To wit: Not necessarily bad; mostly kinda funny. BARTLEBY SNOPES is an online literary magazine with several goals in mind. We want to publish the best new fiction we can find. We want to give the many writers out there an opportunity to publish their best work. We want to inspire you to create great works of fiction. BOOTH publishes one piece or author every Friday, directly on our home page. In addition, Booth...
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...1. Literature of the 17th century. John Milton. “Paradise Lost”. John Bunyan. “Pilgrim’s Progress”. The peculiarities of the English literature of the 17th century are determined by the events of the Engl. Bourgeois Revolution, which took place in 1640-60. King Charles I was beheaded in 1649& General Oliver Cromwell became the leader of the new government. In 1660, shortly after Cro-ll’s death, the dynasty of the Stuarts was restored. The establishment of new social&eco-ic relations, the change from feudal to bourgeois ownership, escalating class-struggle, liberation movement and contradictions of the bourgeois society found their reflection in lit-re. The main representatives of this period is: John Milton: was born in London&educated at Christ’s College. He lived a pure life believing that he had a great purpose to complete. At college he was known as the The Lady of Christ’s. he Got master’s degree at Cambridge. It’s convenient to consider his works in 3 divisions. At first he wrote his short poems at Horton. (The Passion, Song on May Morning, L’Allegro). Then he wrote mainly prose. His 3 greatest poems belong to his last group. At the age of 23 he had still done little in life&he admits this in one of his sonnets. (On his 23d B-day) In his another sonnet he wrote on his own blindness. (On his Blindness) Milton wrote diff. kinds of works. His prose works were mainly concerned with church, affairs, divorce & freedom. The English civil war between Charles...
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...speech, I will tell you about Joyce’s life, the book of hers that I read, and how she connects to what we’ve learned in English Lit thus far. BODY 1. The Author Joyce Carol Oates was born on June 16th on her parents' farm, outside the town, and went to the same one-room schoolhouse her mother had attended. This rural area of upstate New York, straddling Niagara and Erie Counties, had been hit hard by the Great Depression. The few industries the area enjoyed suffered frequent closures and layoffs. Farm families worked desperately hard to sustain meager subsistence. But young Joyce enjoyed the natural environment of farm country, and displayed an interest in books and writing. Although her parents had little education, they encouraged her ambitions. When, at age 14, her grandmother gave her her first typewriter, she began consciously preparing herself, "writing novel after novel" throughout high school and college, said American Writers: A Collection of Literary Biographies. Without the typewriter from her grandmother, she may not have even started writing seriously. When she transferred to the high school in Lockport, she quickly distinguished herself. An excellent student, she contributed to her high school newspaper and won a scholarship to attend Syracuse University, where she majored in English. When she was only 19, she won the "college short story" contest sponsored by Mademoiselle Magazine. Joyce Carol Oates was valedictorian of her graduating class. After receiving...
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...overlap in these literary works of diverse nature and time periods under multiple contexts. The reading of literature in this way i.e. within the sociocultural context will help the readers become aware of the fact that literary works are basically a referential product of the practice that goes back to continuous interdisciplinary interaction. Contents: • Medieval Period • Renaissance and Reformation • Elizabethan Period • Milton, the Metaphysical, and the Cavalier Poets • The Age of Reason and Neo-Classicism • Restoration Drama • Augustan Satire • The Rise of the Novel • Romanticism Recommended Readings: 1. Long, William J.: English Literature: Its History and Significance for the life of English speaking world, enlarged edition, 2006. 2. Evans, Ifor. A Short History of English Literature. London: Penguin, 1976 3. Ford,...
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...Analyzing and Interpreting Literature 2012 Examination Guide These materials are owned and copyrighted by the College Board. They may not be posted on the Internet or on any other public document sharing site. The materials in these files are intended for PERSONAL USE ONLY. Violations of this policy may be subject to legal action including, but not limited to, payment for each guide that is disseminated unlawfully and associated damages. V isit our website at w ww.collegeboard.org/clep f or the most up-to-date information. © 2011 The College Board. College Board, CLEP, College-Level Examination Program, SAT and the acorn logo are registered trademarks of the College Board. inspiring minds is a trademark owned by the College Board. All other products and services may be trademarks of their respective owners. Visit the College Board on the Web: www.collegeboard.org. Introduction This is the only official guide to the 33 College-Level Examination Program® (CLEP®) exams. CLEP exams are administered on computer test centers across the country. This Guide has been written mainly for adults who are making plans to enroll in college, but it contains information of interest to others as well. College-bound high school students, current college students, military personnel, professionals seeking certification and persons of all ages who have learned or wish to learn college-level material outside the college classroom will find the Guide helpful as they strive...
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...to a life of indulgence while a computer with a vaguely seductive female voice controls the city and produces everything they need to live. They know nothing of the outside world, nor do they have any idea how to operate the machines that serve them. As in many similar works, the characters are portrayed as being much like children, dependent on the central computer to shelter them in their gilded cage. But the characters aren't only separated from the nature outside the city. They are also separated from the natural processes of life. They are incubated in nurseries, rather than being born, and they neither marry nor know their children. It is only natural, in their eyes, for sex to be purely a form of entertainment, unconnected to intimacy or procreation. Nor do they know anything of the natural process of aging. Because space is limited in the city, the computer simply does away with everyone on their 30th birthday. To lead these lambs willingly to their slaughter, it has given them a ritual and a myth: at the age of 30 everyone participates in carousel and has a chance to be "renewed" -- born again. Carousel is the ultimate rite of despair and hope. As the ritual begins, the 30 year-old victims stand in the center of a giant auditorium-in-the-round, wearing white death masks that make this ordered world look like a high-tech version of something out of the dark...
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...onaryDictionary of Ònìchà Igbo 2nd edition of the Igbo dictionary, Kay Williamson, Ethiope Press, 1972. Kay Williamson (†) This version prepared and edited by Roger Blench Roger Blench Mallam Dendo 8, Guest Road Cambridge CB1 2AL United Kingdom Voice/ Fax. 0044-(0)1223-560687 Mobile worldwide (00-44)-(0)7967-696804 E-mail R.Blench@odi.org.uk http://www.rogerblench.info/RBOP.htm To whom all correspondence should be addressed. This printout: November 16, 2006 TABLE OF CONTENTS Abbreviations: ................................................................................................................................................. 2 Editor’s Preface............................................................................................................................................... 1 Editor’s note: The Echeruo (1997) and Igwe (1999) Igbo dictionaries ...................................................... 2 INTRODUCTION........................................................................................................................................... 4 1. Earlier lexicographical work on Igbo........................................................................................................ 4 2. The development of the present work ....................................................................................................... 6 3. Onitsha Igbo ...................................................................................................
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...2013B Carefully read the following excerpt from the short story “Mammita’s Garden Cove” by Cyril Dabydeen. Then write a well-organized essay in which you analyze how Dabydeen uses literary techniques to convey Max’s complex attitudes toward place. ‘Where d’you come from?’ Max was used to the question; used to being told no as well. He walked away, feet kicking hard ground, telling himself that Line he must persevere. More than anything else he knew 5 he must find a job before long. In a way being unemployed made him feel prepared for hell itself even though he knew too that somewhere there was a sweet heaven waiting for him. How couldn’t it be? After all he was in Canada. He wanted to laugh all of 10 He continued walking along, thoughts drifting back to the far-gone past. Was it that far-gone? He wasn’t sure . . . yet his thoughts kept going back, to the time he was on the island and how he used to dream about 15 being in Canada, of starting an entirely new life. He remembered those dreams clearly now; remembered too thinking of marrying some sweet island-woman with whom he’d share his life, of having children and later buying a house. Maybe someday he’d even own 20 a cottage on the edge of the city. He wasn’t too sure where one built a cottage, but there had to be a cottage. He’d then be in the middle class; life would be different from the hand-to-mouth existence he was used to. 25 His heels pressed into the asphalt, walking on. And slowly he...
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...2013B Carefully read the following excerpt from the short story “Mammita’s Garden Cove” by Cyril Dabydeen. Then write a well-organized essay in which you analyze how Dabydeen uses literary techniques to convey Max’s complex attitudes toward place. ‘Where d’you come from?’ Max was used to the question; used to being told no as well. He walked away, feet kicking hard ground, telling himself that Line he must persevere. More than anything else he knew 5 he must find a job before long. In a way being unemployed made him feel prepared for hell itself even though he knew too that somewhere there was a sweet heaven waiting for him. How couldn’t it be? After all he was in Canada. He wanted to laugh all of 10 He continued walking along, thoughts drifting back to the far-gone past. Was it that far-gone? He wasn’t sure . . . yet his thoughts kept going back, to the time he was on the island and how he used to dream about 15 being in Canada, of starting an entirely new life. He remembered those dreams clearly now; remembered too thinking of marrying some sweet island-woman with whom he’d share his life, of having children and later buying a house. Maybe someday he’d even own 20 a cottage on the edge of the city. He wasn’t too sure where one built a cottage, but there had to be a cottage. He’d then be in the middle class; life would be different from the hand-to-mouth existence he was used to. 25 His heels pressed into the asphalt, walking on. And slowly he...
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...Gulliver’s Travels Jonathan Swift I/ Introduction A. Writer: Jonathan Swift Jonathan Swift is the greatest satirist in the history of English literature. He was the contemporary of Steele, Addison, Defoe and other English enlightens of the early period; however he stood apart from them. The greatest satirist in the history of English of the bourgeois life came to the negation of the bourgeois society. Swift's art had a great effect on the further development of English and European literature. The main features of his artistic method, such as hyperbole, grotesque, generalization, irony, were widely used by the English novelist, the dramatists, by the French writers, by the Russian writers and others. Jonathan Swift was born in Dublin, Ireland, on November 30, 1667. He studied theology at Trinity College at the age of fourteen and graduated in 1688. He became the secretary of Sir William Temple, an English politician and member of the Whig party, at the age of 21. At Moor Park, Sir William’s estate, Swift made friend with Hester Johnson, the daughter of one of Temple’s servants. His letters to her, written in 1710 – 1713, were later published in the form of a book under the title of Journal to Stella, the name he poetically called Hester. In 1692, Swift took his Master of Arts Degree at Oxford University. In 1694, he had begun to write satires on the political and religious corruption surrounding him, working on A Tale of a Tub, which supports the position of the Anglican...
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...HUMANITARIAN, OR MANIAC? INTRODUCTION Alexander the Great is by all historical accounts one of the most influential figures of history. He was the son of Philip II, the King of Macedon who conquered Greece in 338 B.C. but was assassinated soon thereafter. Alexander thus became king at the age of seventeen (in 336 B.C. ), and at the age of twenty he set off to conquer the known world. In a series of lightning campaigns he conquered the Persian Empire that had until then been invincible, and in a certain sense he avenged Greece for the earlier Persian Wars. He marched through Asia Minor, Syria, Egypt, Mesopotamia, and Persia, conquering all before him. In monumental battles he defeated the Persians at Granicus (334 B.C.), Issus (333 B.c.), and Gaugamela (331 B.c.). He drove his soldiers on, crossing the mountains and deserts of central Asia, until he reached the borders of India (326 B.C.). There he finally turned back, retreating to Babylon, where he established his court. At Babylon he fell sick and suddenly died, at only thirty-two years of age (323 B.c.). Alexander hardly had time to organize his new empire, and this makes it all but impossible to know how he would have been as a ruler, instead of a conqueror. After his death, Alexander's empire fell apart and was ruled by his successors, Macedonian generals who became kings of independent areas. Most of these rulers continued Alexander's policies of toleration and cultural integration. Alexander's remarkable military success...
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...R AJA Y OGA rajyaeg S WAMI V IVEKANANDA CELEPHAÏS PRESS Issued by Celephaïs Press, somewhere beyond the Tanarian Hills (i.e. Leeds, England), August 2003 E.V. Revised and corrected, November 2003. This work is in the public domain. EACH SOUL IS POTENTIALLY DIVINE. THE GOAL IS TO MANIFEST THIS DIVINE WITHIN, BY CONTROLLING NATURE, EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL. DO THIS EITHER BY WORK, OR WORSHIP, OR PSYCHIC CONTROL, OR PHILOSOPHY, BY ONE, OR MORE, OR ALL OF THESE—AND BE FREE. IS THE WHOLE OF RELIGION. DOCTRINES, OR DOGMAS, OR RITUALS, OR BOOKS, OR TEMPLES, OR FORMS, ARE BUT SECONDARY DETAILS. THIS PREFACE SINCE the dawn of history, various extraordinary phenomena have been recorded as happening amongst human beings. Witnesses are not wanting in modern times to attest the fact of such events, even in societies living under the full blaze of modern science. The vast mass of such evidence is unreliable, as coming from ignorant, superstitious, or fraudulent persons. In many instances the so-called miracles are imitations. But what do they imitate? It is not the sign of a candid and scientific mind to throw overboard anything without proper investigation. Surface scientists, unable to explain the various extraordinary mental phenomena, strive to ignore their very existence. They are, therefore, more culpable than those who think that their prayers are answered by a being, or beings, above the clouds, or than those who believe that their petitions will make such beings...
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...If this situation sounds familiar, you may find it reassuring to know that many professionals undergo these same strange compulsions before they begin writing. Jean Kerr, author of Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, admits that she often finds herself in the kitchen reading soup-can labels—or anything—in order to prolong the moments before taking pen in hand. John C. Calhoun, vice president under Andrew Jackson, insisted he had to plow his fields before he could write, and Joseph Conrad, author of Lord Jim and other novels, is said to have cried on occasion from the sheer dread of sitting down to compose his stories. To spare you as much hand-wringing as possible, this chapter presents some practical suggestions on how to begin writing your short essay. Although all writers must find the methods that work best for them, you may find some of the following ideas helpful. But no matter how you actually begin putting words on paper, it is absolutely essential to maintain two basic ideas concerning your writing task. Before you write a single sentence, you should always remind yourself that 1. You have some valuable ideas to tell your reader, and 2. More than anything, you want to communicate those ideas to your reader. These reminders may seem obvious to you, but without a solid commitment to your own opinions as well as to your reader, your prose will be lifeless and boring. If you don’t care about your subject, you can’t very well expect anyone else to. Have confidence that your ideas...
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...SPM ENGLISH LANGUAGE 1119 SMART MODULE 2 2011 [pic] SPM ENGLISH LANGUAGE 1119 SMART MODULE 2 2011 Patron En. Mansor bin Lat Director of Kedah Education Department Advisor Tn. Hj. Asmee bin Haji Tajuddin Head of the Academic Sector Coordinator Pn. Hjh. Zaliha bt Ahmad The Principal Assistant Director (English Language) Committee Members Pn. Wan Aisyah bt Haris (Assistant District Language Officer for Language, Kota Setar) Pn. Hjh. Fadzillah bt Selamat (Assistant District Language Officer for Languages, Kubang Pasu) En. Yong Kooi Hin (Assistant District Language Officer for Languages, Baling Sik) En. Nordin bin Mohd. Noor (Assistant District Language Officer for Languages, Padang Terap) En. Azmi bin Othman (Assistant District Language Officer for Languages, Kuala Muda Yan) En. Nagaiah Velu (Assistant District Language Officer for Languages, Langkawi) En. Md. Zahir bin Husin (Assistant District Language Officer for Languages, Kulim Bandar Baharu) Pn. Nadia Normala Vimala bt Abdullah (Assistant District Language Officer for Languages, Pendang) Cik Farha bt Sobry (Assistant District Language Officer for English (Secondary), Kuala Muda Yan En. Oslan bin Yum (Assistant District Language Officer for English (Secondary), Kubang Pasu Panel of Smart Module 2 2011 (SPM 1119) 1. Pn. Farah Ikhmar bt Jafri (SMK Sik) 2. En. Lim Swee Teong (SMK Simpang Kuala) ...
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