Something needs to be done about the media, and all the violence that is promoted, and being viewed by our youth all over the world. The media has no regard for our youth, and the influence they have on them. In my opinion, it is all about the money, and the ratings. There is a bigger issue out there besides both of those things. Our youth is being exposed to so much violence; they are becoming immune to it. Today, it is the norm for them.
All media is to blame, but in my opinion, electronic media is the biggest culprit. The youth of today are being consumed by all types of electronic devices. Violence is big business in the media. No matter if it is Facebook, YouTube, music on an IPod, internet radio, MySpace, or any other of the sites on the internet or electronic devices, violence is present in some way or another. There are youth out there in society that are committing heinous violent acts, just for the fun of it. What I want to know is when did violence become fun? Kids listen to gangster rap, and believe everything they hear. (Dawursk Jr 2007) In 1994, two teenagers that murdered a police officer from Milwaukee, stated, they did it “just for the fun of it”, because they were influenced by “2Pacalypes Now”, a song by @ Pac Shakur.
Everywhere you look, there is a kid walking with some type of electronic device, with ear plugs on. (International Telecommunication Union) In 2008 61% of the world population uses cell phones, in 2000 only 12% used cell phones. The cell phones today are like mini computers, they give the kids access to everything. Our children do not want to be bothered with their parents, teachers, mentors, church, and community leaders. They are consumed by their devices, and the electronic media they view in search of their identities, and the freedom from all forms of authority.
By the age of eighteen, the average American child will have viewed about 200,000 acts of violence (Youth Relationships.org/promotion of violence through media). Our youth is more violent than ever before, and it is not by accident or coincidence. The violence they portray is everywhere they turn. It is to the point that they can see a violent act being performed on an individual in the street, and not be shocked by it. When did our young society become this way? Cold and heartless is the way of our youth chooses to live, and it is a sad way to live. Here are some more shocking facts; Homicide is the second leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24 years old (CDC.facts at a glance). According to the Commission for the Prevention of Youth Violence, a coalition of American health care professionals, one eighth of murder victims in America are under the age of 18, about 40 kids are killed by violence every week. Also a blog in “MARCH COMMUNICATIONS”, officials in the UK say that social media is being used to organize riots.
It is alarming how many of the young people responsible for these acts of violence were influenced by the media in some type of way; directly or indirectly. Society needs to come together as one, to take action against the media, and the powers that be. The violence is spilling into our schools (NSCC1.org/statistics on school violence), and the reason being in my opinion, is because our children are saturating themselves in all types of electronic media. The truth is all these things are replacing what should be the main influence on our youth, things like the morals we were taught, our values, religious beliefs, and ethics that were instilled in them in the first place. It is sad, but the truth, electronic media is raising our youth, and teaching them what is cool, instead of what is morally right. When I was growing up, you did not really hear too much about schools with metal detectors in them, and policemen walking around. Today, that is the norm in the public school systems.
Something really needs to be done fast. I personally feel that the media needs to be regulated like other things are. The issue has been brought up already, but the excuse against it is that it will violate freedom of speech. I can see where that would be a problem, but there has to be a way around it to keep our youth safe. It is too easy for our youth to gain access to all these sites, and programs that are showing all this violence like that is all there is to show.
The future of the country and the world is our youth. They are worth saving, and we need to act fast before it is too late. They are almost to the point of no return, what can we do?

Reference page
Glen Dawursk jr, Medias Influence on Youth
International Telecommunication Union
CDC.facts at a glance
The Commission of the Prevention of Youth Violence
How Should Social Media Be Regulated? March Communications-www.marchpr.com/blog/2011/08/how-should-social-media-be-regulated

Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint.

Something needs to be done about the media, and all the violence that is promoted, and being [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--If not a noun (as in "human being"), the word "Being" is hard to imagine; it means "existing." Try to rewrite this without using "being"--with action words like "attending," "working," "living," "experiencing," simply "as"--or even removing "being" completely] viewed by our youth all over the world. The media has no regard for our youth, and the influence they have on them. In my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , it is all about the money, and the ratings. There is a bigger issue out there [This is a slang term; avoid slang and informal English in academic writing. It could be confusing in an international business communication] besides both of those things. Our youth is being exposed to so much violence; they are becoming immune to it. Today, it is the norm for them.
All media is to blame, but in my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , electronic media is the biggest culprit. The youth of today are being consumed by all types of electronic devices. Violence is big business in the media. No matter if it is Facebook, YouTube, music on an IPod, internet [Capitalize "Internet" as the worldwide communication network] radio, MySpace, or any other of the sites on the internet [Internet] or electronic devices, violence is present in some way or another. There are youth out there [This is a slang term; avoid slang and informal English in academic writing. It could be confusing in an international business communication] in society that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] committing heinous violent acts, just for the fun of it. What I want to know is when did violence become fun? [Writing suggestion: Unless in a quote or a title, avoid rhetorical questions in academic writing. A good idea is to provide answers, not questions] Kids [Unless meaning young goats, this is slang and inappropriate in academic writing; use "children"] listen to gangster rap, and believe everything they hear. (Dawursk Jr 2007 [Place comma after author name] ) In 1994, two teenagers that murdered a police officer from Milwaukee, stated, they did it “just for the fun of it”, because they were influenced by “2Pacalypes Now”, a song by @ Pac Shakur.
Everywhere you look, there is a kid walking with some type of electronic device, with ear plugs on. (International Telecommunication Union) In 2008 61% of the world population uses cell phones, in 2000 only 12% used cell phones. The cell phones today are like mini computers, they give the kids access to everything. Our children do not want to be bothered with their parents, teachers, mentors, church, and community leaders. They are consumed by their devices, and the electronic media they view in search of their identities, and the freedom from all forms of authority.
By the age of eighteen, the average American child will have viewed about 200,000 acts of violence (Youth Relationships.org/promotion of violence through media). Our youth is more violent than ever before, and it is not by accident or coincidence. The violence they portray is everywhere they turn. It is to the point that they can see a violent act being performed on an individual in the street, and not be shocked by it. When did our young society become this way? Cold and heartless is the way of our youth chooses to live, and it is a sad way to live. Here are some more shocking facts; Homicide is the second leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24 years old (CDC.facts at a glance). According to the Commission for the Prevention of Youth Violence, a coalition of American health care professionals, one eighth of murder victims in America are under the age of 18, about 40 kids are killed by violence every week. Also a blog in “MARCH COMMUNICATIONS”, officials in the UK say that social media is being used to organize riots.
It is alarming how many of the young people responsible for these acts of violence were influenced by the media in some type of way; directly or indirectly. Society needs to come together as one, to take action against the media, and the powers that be [Cliché--"powers that be" is an old phrase, seen too often, and marks your writing as unoriginal. Try to express the idea in another way] . The violence is spilling into our schools, and the reason being in my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , is because our children are saturating themselves in all types of electronic media. The truth is all these things are replacing what should be the main influence on our youth, things like the morals we were taught, our values, religious beliefs, and ethics that were [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that were"] instilled in them in the first place. It is sad, but the truth, electronic media is raising our youth, and teaching them what is cool, instead of what is morally right. When I was growing up, you did not really hear too much about schools with metal detectors in them, and policemen walking around. Today, that is the norm in the public school systems.
Something really needs to be done fast. I personally feel that the media needs to be regulated like other things are. The issue has been brought up already, but the excuse against it is that it will violate freedom of speech. I can see where that would be a problem, but there has to be a way around it to keep our youth safe. It is too easy for our youth to gain access to all these sites, and programs that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] showing all this violence like that is all there is to show.
The future of the country and [Grammar: A run-on sentence requires a comma before "and" (or other conjunction) linking main clauses] the world is our youth. They are worth saving, and we need to act fast before it is too late. They are almost to the point of no return, what can we do?

Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint.

Something needs to be done about the media, and all the violence that is promoted, and being [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--If not a noun (as in "human being"), the word "Being" is hard to imagine; it means "existing." Try to rewrite this without using "being"--with action words like "attending," "working," "living," "experiencing," simply "as"--or even removing "being" completely] viewed by our youth all over the world. The media has no regard for our youth, and the influence they have on them. In my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , it is all about the money, and the ratings. There is a bigger issue out there [This is a slang term; avoid slang and informal English in academic writing. It could be confusing in an international business communication] besides both of those things. Our youth is being exposed to so much violence; they are becoming immune to it. Today, it is the norm for them.
All media is to blame, but in my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , electronic media is the biggest culprit. The youth of today are being consumed by all types of electronic devices. Violence is big business in the media. No matter if it is Facebook, YouTube, music on an IPod, internet [Capitalize "Internet" as the worldwide communication network] radio, MySpace, or any other of the sites on the internet [Internet] or electronic devices, violence is present in some way or another. There are youth out there [This is a slang term; avoid slang and informal English in academic writing. It could be confusing in an international business communication] in society that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] committing heinous violent acts, just for the fun of it. What I want to know is when did violence become fun? [Writing suggestion: Unless in a quote or a title, avoid rhetorical questions in academic writing. A good idea is to provide answers, not questions] Kids [Unless meaning young goats, this is slang and inappropriate in academic writing; use "children"] listen to gangster rap, and believe everything they hear. (Dawursk Jr 2007 [Place comma after author name] ) In 1994, two teenagers that murdered a police officer from Milwaukee, stated, they did it “just for the fun of it”, because they were influenced by “2Pacalypes Now”, a song by @ Pac Shakur.
Everywhere you look, there is a kid walking with some type of electronic device, with ear plugs on. (International Telecommunication Union) In 2008 61% of the world population uses cell phones, in 2000 only 12% used cell phones. The cell phones today are like mini computers, they give the kids access to everything. Our children do not want to be bothered with their parents, teachers, mentors, church, and community leaders. They are consumed by their devices, and the electronic media they view in search of their identities, and the freedom from all forms of authority.
By the age of eighteen, the average American child will have viewed about 200,000 acts of violence (Youth Relationships.org/promotion of violence through media). Our youth is more violent than ever before, and it is not by accident or coincidence. The violence they portray is everywhere they turn. It is to the point that they can see a violent act being performed on an individual in the street, and not be shocked by it. When did our young society become this way? Cold and heartless is the way of our youth chooses to live, and it is a sad way to live. Here are some more shocking facts; Homicide is the second leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24 years old (CDC.facts at a glance). According to the Commission for the Prevention of Youth Violence, a coalition of American health care professionals, one eighth of murder victims in America are under the age of 18, about 40 kids are killed by violence every week. Also a blog in “MARCH COMMUNICATIONS”, officials in the UK say that social media is being used to organize riots.
It is alarming how many of the young people responsible for these acts of violence were influenced by the media in some type of way; directly or indirectly. Society needs to come together as one, to take action against the media, and the powers that be [Cliché--"powers that be" is an old phrase, seen too often, and marks your writing as unoriginal. Try to express the idea in another way] . The violence is spilling into our schools, and the reason being in my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , is because our children are saturating themselves in all types of electronic media. The truth is all these things are replacing what should be the main influence on our youth, things like the morals we were taught, our values, religious beliefs, and ethics that were [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that were"] instilled in them in the first place. It is sad, but the truth, electronic media is raising our youth, and teaching them what is cool, instead of what is morally right. When I was growing up, you did not really hear too much about schools with metal detectors in them, and policemen walking around. Today, that is the norm in the public school systems.
Something really needs to be done fast. I personally feel that the media needs to be regulated like other things are. The issue has been brought up already, but the excuse against it is that it will violate freedom of speech. I can see where that would be a problem, but there has to be a way around it to keep our youth safe. It is too easy for our youth to gain access to all these sites, and programs that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] showing all this violence like that is all there is to show.
The future of the country and [Grammar: A run-on sentence requires a comma before "and" (or other conjunction) linking main clauses] the world is our youth. They are worth saving, and we need to act fast before it is too late. They are almost to the point of no return, what can we do?

Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint.

Something needs to be done about the media, and all the violence that is promoted, and being [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--If not a noun (as in "human being"), the word "Being" is hard to imagine; it means "existing." Try to rewrite this without using "being"--with action words like "attending," "working," "living," "experiencing," simply "as"--or even removing "being" completely] viewed by our youth all over the world. The media has no regard for our youth, and the influence they have on them. In my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , it is all about the money, and the ratings. There is a bigger issue out there [This is a slang term; avoid slang and informal English in academic writing. It could be confusing in an international business communication] besides both of those things. Our youth is being exposed to so much violence; they are becoming immune to it. Today, it is the norm for them.
All media is to blame, but in my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , electronic media is the biggest culprit. The youth of today are being consumed by all types of electronic devices. Violence is big business in the media. No matter if it is Facebook, YouTube, music on an IPod, internet [Capitalize "Internet" as the worldwide communication network] radio, MySpace, or any other of the sites on the internet [Internet] or electronic devices, violence is present in some way or another. There are youth out there [This is a slang term; avoid slang and informal English in academic writing. It could be confusing in an international business communication] in society that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] committing heinous violent acts, just for the fun of it. What I want to know is when did violence become fun? [Writing suggestion: Unless in a quote or a title, avoid rhetorical questions in academic writing. A good idea is to provide answers, not questions] Kids [Unless meaning young goats, this is slang and inappropriate in academic writing; use "children"] listen to gangster rap, and believe everything they hear. (Dawursk Jr 2007 [Place comma after author name] ) In 1994, two teenagers that murdered a police officer from Milwaukee, stated, they did it “just for the fun of it”, because they were influenced by “2Pacalypes Now”, a song by @ Pac Shakur.
Everywhere you look, there is a kid walking with some type of electronic device, with ear plugs on. (International Telecommunication Union) In 2008 61% of the world population uses cell phones, in 2000 only 12% used cell phones. The cell phones today are like mini computers, they give the kids access to everything. Our children do not want to be bothered with their parents, teachers, mentors, church, and community leaders. They are consumed by their devices, and the electronic media they view in search of their identities, and the freedom from all forms of authority.
By the age of eighteen, the average American child will have viewed about 200,000 acts of violence (Youth Relationships.org/promotion of violence through media). Our youth is more violent than ever before, and it is not by accident or coincidence. The violence they portray is everywhere they turn. It is to the point that they can see a violent act being performed on an individual in the street, and not be shocked by it. When did our young society become this way? Cold and heartless is the way of our youth chooses to live, and it is a sad way to live. Here are some more shocking facts; Homicide is the second leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24 years old (CDC.facts at a glance). According to the Commission for the Prevention of Youth Violence, a coalition of American health care professionals, one eighth of murder victims in America are under the age of 18, about 40 kids are killed by violence every week. Also a blog in “MARCH COMMUNICATIONS”, officials in the UK say that social media is being used to organize riots.
It is alarming how many of the young people responsible for these acts of violence were influenced by the media in some type of way; directly or indirectly. Society needs to come together as one, to take action against the media, and the powers that be [Cliché--"powers that be" is an old phrase, seen too often, and marks your writing as unoriginal. Try to express the idea in another way] . The violence is spilling into our schools, and the reason being in my opinion [Wordiness: Remove "in my opinion," which is unnecessary. By writing this, you are showing your opinion.] , is because our children are saturating themselves in all types of electronic media. The truth is all these things are replacing what should be the main influence on our youth, things like the morals we were taught, our values, religious beliefs, and ethics that were [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that were"] instilled in them in the first place. It is sad, but the truth, electronic media is raising our youth, and teaching them what is cool, instead of what is morally right. When I was growing up, you did not really hear too much about schools with metal detectors in them, and policemen walking around. Today, that is the norm in the public school systems.
Something really needs to be done fast. I personally feel that the media needs to be regulated like other things are. The issue has been brought up already, but the excuse against it is that it will violate freedom of speech. I can see where that would be a problem, but there has to be a way around it to keep our youth safe. It is too easy for our youth to gain access to all these sites, and programs that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] showing all this violence like that is all there is to show.
The future of the country and [Grammar: A run-on sentence requires a comma before "and" (or other conjunction) linking main clauses] the world is our youth. They are worth saving, and we need to act fast before it is too late. They are almost to the point of no return, what can we do?

My results for the Plagiarism results is 7%