1. What are the principles of conflict?
1. Principle 1: Conflict is a usual, unavoidable part of personal relationships. When people grow close to one another, occasional disagreements are inevitable. 2. Principle 2: Conflict may be expressed overtly or covertly. Overt conflict is out in the open and unambiguous. Whereas covert conflict is the opposite, concealed and vague. 3. Principle 3: Social Groups Shape the Meaning of Conflict Behaviors Our cultural membership and socialization in particular social communities affect how we view and respond to conflict. In certain cultures debating is done for fun, whereas other cultures frown upon it. 4. Principle 4: Conflict Can Be Managed Well or Poorly People respond to conflict in a variety of ways, from physical attack to verbal aggression to collaborative problem solving. Contingent on how differences are managed, conflict can either encourage ongoing intimacy or tear a relationship apart. 5. Principle 5: Conflict Can Be Good for Individuals and Relationships. Conflict is often viewed in a negative light, it can actually be beneficial. One of the benefits: conflict can often provide opportunities for growth. This is because it develops insight into our feelings when we exchange them with others.
2. What are the orientations to conflict? Which do you tend to use most often? (If you do not know, take the quick Quiz on p. 250 of the text.)
The orientations to conflict are:
Lose-lose: This assumes that conflict results in losses for everyone, and that it is unhealthy and destructive for relationships.
Win-lose: This assumes that one person wins at the expense of the other.
Win-win: This assumes that there are usually ways to resolve differences to that everyone gains.
I tend to use win win. I like to find a way that everyone can gain from a situation.
3. Think about the ways you typically respond to conflict. Do you tend to rely on one or two of the four responses in the text? Explain. Are your response tendencies consistent with research findings in the text about women and men in general? Why or why not?
I use the exit response a lot. I will find a way to walk out, or withdrawer from the situation. I walked out when my boss asked me to make a decision either my job, or my son when he was sick. I walk away from some disagreements with my husband. I find that I use this a lot.

4. Which conflict-management skill do you consider yourself good at using, and which do you need to develop more? How do you plan to develop these skills?’
I am great at listening mindfully to people. This is a huge strength of mine, and is very important in my profession. I need to work on taking responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings. I will often say she feels this way, or the staff feels this way, and it is not always the staff it is my feeling this way. I definitely need to use more I language.