Introduction to Speech
M/W 1:30

Listening Activity Paper
4/27/2015

First allow me to say that I was truly dreading this assignment. I thought to myself, “How am I going to devote 12 hours of any given day to this?” I am just so busy. However, I learned a lot in a short period of time about myself. I realize I was wrong about myself. I truly thought that I was, at all times, a kind and gracious listener. God knows I have preached to my children enough about how important it is to really listen to people. Now I wonder if they take me seriously when I say that. I did not realize how focused I get about our structure and routine. Being a single mom with two honor roll students who are very involved requires structure. I did not realize that when I am in that zone I am literally tuning them out and dismissing what they are expressing to me. This must make them feel pretty unimportant. It also begs the question, will they feel justified tuning me out. I am not aggravated when I am focused on getting things done but I fear I come across that way in my direct and impersonal responses and lack of listening. I also did not realize that I was prioritizing listening to one child over the other according to the time I have with each. I have literally subconsciously been scheduling time to listen to each of them. That means that if the Sienna feels it is important to tell me something during Aidan’s primary time in the car, I may or may not dismiss her. How awful that must make her feel! I had no idea that I was even doing this. Another part of the day that I was not so impressed with myself was my literal frustration at the lady trying to share her, what I dismissed as unimportant, problems with me. I used to always take the time to listen if someone felt a need to share a problem. I identify with being that person, kind and compassionate. I was mad simply because someone needed an ear to listen and chose me. I probably made her feel badly and it certainly made me question myself. Furthermore, what sort of example did I set for Aidan? On a high note I am a very good listener during down times. I put all outside thoughts aside during breakfast and dinner times. I listen appreciatively as the children share their days and experiences with me. I respond with positive thoughts and take the opportunity to build them up. We even have an activity for each meal where we discuss hopes for the day and at dinner we discuss our high and low for the day. I love to hear them talk and am grateful for those times. I learned a lot today. I have got to stop scheduling listening. It is as if I know that we will talk at dinner so I put it off. I have to be more available and willing to drop anything to listen so that my kids know that I value what they say. Listening is not something that can be scheduled or eventually they will just not bother talking to me. The one thing I take more pride in than anything is how open and close my kids are with me. I need to make some serious changes and be more open to hear them when THEY need to talk, not when it is convenient for me to listen. I realize that I interrupt them if I feel what I have to say is of greater importance than what they need from me or are trying to share with me. On the other hand I get aggravated if either of them interrupt me. When I am aggravated there is no genuine listening happening. It is like a downward spiral and I need to identify it in the moment, take a deep breath and remind myself to be present. I used to take a lot of pride in being mindful of those around me and present in each moment. I have been so busy that I had not looked at myself long enough to realize how far away from that person I have gotten this year. I have to slow down and clear my mind more. Calm down and listen because if I allow any negative emotion to rule my time than I am not hearing the most important words, those of my children. I am so glad we did this exercise, truly. It has opened my eyes and made me aware. My kids are glad too!