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Creative Essay

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Submitted By jacobyoung
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Mommy, I’m cold!” A fresh wave of grief washed over me as I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t afford to put a roof over my daughter’s head. For the last few years, I had been struggling with mountains of debt from student loans and credit card bills, and with no job upon graduation from college, I was finally forced to leave the apartment that we had been living in. Phoebe, my adorable little daughter, was struggling massively with these new changes, and I felt so badly about it all. “I know, Phoebe. Here, you can have Mommy’s blanket.” It was snowing in the park where we were sleeping, and now I was feeling the effects of the bitter cold. It was going to be a long night; I couldn’t sleep. My mind was filled with worry about where I would get food for my daughter tomorrow. I always managed to find something for her even though I often went hungry…my daughter was my number one priority when it came to nutrition these days. Many people had asked why I don’t give her up to the state, but my promise to myself I was that as long as I could provide food and keep Phoebe healthy, I would keep her. The very minute that I was unable to provide these things was when I would give her to someone who could better care for her. “Mommy, I need breakfast!” The sun was rising. I needed to find Phoebe some food. “Come on, Phoebe. We’ll go look for something.” We started to walk, her hand in mine, when I sighed with relief. I saw a man in the donut shop waving us in. My daughter and I walked in to the warm glow and lovely smell of the place, and the man filled a bag with donuts, bagels, and croissants. I tell the man, “Thank you so much, you don’t know how much this means to me.” We sit and eat breakfast, and then I send Phoebe off to school. Phoebe’s smile is wide and bright. “Have a good day, Mommy!” I wish her a good day in return. As I try to find some lunch for myself, I get a phone call from Phoebe’s school. I answer it, and an unpleasant voice comes out of the speaker. “Ma’am, this is John Smith from Child Protective Services and it has come to my attention that you are unable to find a place for your daughter to live. I’m afraid that we are going to have to maintain custody of your daughter until you are able to find a suitable place for the two of you to live. Have a nice day.” Click. Devastation hits me like a train. I couldn’t believe this was happening…how did the school find out? I always make sure she is clean and she always gets food. Did she tell them? I have to find a place to live, and quick. I know what I’ll do. I will look in the Penny saver and see if I can find a room for 200 dollars or less, because that’s my budget. I spend all day calling numbers but it is to no avail; I can’t find anything. It’s okay, I am just going to have to spend some time conducting careful research. I walk back to the park where we always sleep and I rack my brain for some kind of inspiration, an epiphany, anything that will help me find a place to live. The next morning, I wake up early to resume my search. I call several more people, only to find that what I am able to pay is nowhere near enough. Suddenly, I have a thought. Just a couple of blocks away is that sleazy motel (I think it is called the Budget Inn), and I realize that the motel often has many vacant rooms, because not many people want to say there. I walk into the lobby and ask to speak to the manager, greasy old man with gray stands of hair that look like electrical wires. I tell him about my dilemma and he sits in silence for several excruciatingly long minutes. I wonder what he will say. The manager smiles and says that I can have a room for free! Oh my goodness, I am so excited! I quickly call the social worker who took custody of my daughter and let him know that I have found a room. “Okay, ma’am, I will be there in ten minutes with Phoebe to inspect the living space. I hear the car pull up, and I hear Phoebe’s voice. “Mommy!” “Phoebe, I’m so happy to see you back home!” The CPS worker inspects the room and deems it be be satisfactory. “I am placing Phoebe back in your custody, but be aware that you will be subject to random checks to verify that you still have a suitable place to live.” I look at Phoebe and say, “How about we go and have some dinner? I have a little bit of money left from this month.”

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