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Critique Wilson

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Theory Critique
Sandra D. Wilson, Ph.D.: Hurt people hurt people

By

Carla LeDane
Student ID: L22459513

Presented to Dr. Johnny Baker
In partial fulfillment of the requirements of
Theology and Spiritualty in Counseling
PACO - 507

Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary
Lynchburg, VA
February 8, 2013

Wilson Theory Critique
Summation:
Dr. Wilson writes that hurting people is a cycle that needs to be broken. She states, “all of us have been hurt by people who were all hurt by other people. In turn, we-- as hurt people-- all have hurt other people to one degree or another. And on and on it goes.” (Wilson, 2001) She says that hurts can be from our actions, words and attitudes that can be intentional or unintentional. The wounds and injuries can and usually manifest in physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, verbal or spiritual neglect or more times than not, abuse. Dr. Wilson believes that everyone is a hurt person in some way who will hurt another person, knowingly or unknowingly. This cycle is usually generational. You hurt me, I hurt the next person, and on it goes. It is one thing to see the abuses that are physical. We can see the bruises, breaks and scars, but emotional hidden unseen wounds can be hidden for years. Dr. Wilson explains that if you have been hurt deeply, emotionally in the past you often take out that hidden pain on someone else. This is where the cycle must end. By recognizing the nature of our wounds and to what extent they have hurt us, helps us work toward the change that is so desperately needed. Dr. Wilson uses her model to correct these behavior patterns by relying on the family systems and a cognitive behavior approach. Change is not easy, but it can be achieved by the techniques put forward by Dr. Wilson. Although Dr. Wilson’s approach seems very simple, she has developed a highly efficient multitasking system using all three areas of psychology, theology and spirituality. She does believe that you must first come to God and build a strong relationship with Him in order to go forward with the healing process.

Evaluations of the Strengths and Weaknesses: Dr. Wilson believes that one need to confront the pain and hurt that has encompassed one’s life. One must confront the problem and realize that there may be losses to change. The one question that needs to be asked is: “Whose rules rule?” Dr. Wilson has answered this question herself. She not only speaks from her heart in this book, she also speaks from experience. This makes her more credible in her approaches and her commitment to help those that need the change. She knows the journey of hopelessness and how to turn that into hope by helping one find the path to forgiveness for the one that caused the hurt and healing of all the hurt that one has endured. Although Dr. Wilson uses theology and psychology in her approaches, she strongly emphasizes the first step is a good strong relationship with God. I have gone over and over her book and I can honestly say that I see no weaknesses. If there is even a hint of any, it would be her dwelling more on the sexual abuse than other types of abuse. However, having said that, I feel it is all abuse and one must confront it one way or the other. Given her own experiences and how traumatic they were for her, I can certainly understand the added emphasis.
Personal Reflection and Application: I personally believe that because her approach is more simplistic than some other approaches we have studied, makes it even more powerful. This model is full of hope for all of those that have hidden shame, anger and fear throughout their lifetimes. She is saying to come back to God or to find God for the first time if He is someone you haven’t known. It is saying that it is alright to cry and face all the hurt that you endured. It is saying that it wasn’t your fault and you must forgive yourself and the person that caused your hurt. She is helping you find the positive goals that you have not found because of your fear. She helps you release your inner truths that you have been afraid to face. To me, this is a magical book full of hope. I cannot find any reason not to use this book in my practice. It is especially unique to me as it is the type of practice I plan on making a specialization. Without realizing that my childhood had been so hurtful, I see where I fought against the negative all my life. I have made it a life- long habit of treating others the way I want to be treated and never asking anyone to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. I can be very persistent about this. To be honest, I never connected the dots until I read her book. My daddy died when I was eight years old. I was an only child left with a mother that was more a business woman that she was a mother. I have made great strides on making my amends with that and have probably gone over- board to always be there for my children. The one part that I have my biggest problem with is that she never told me the truth about life in general. She had created a fantasy life of her own and different situations or stories that I grew up hearing were all lies. I found out the truth after she died and was able to speak with different family members. There was no need to lie or embellish her life. It just seemed a need of hers. I, of course, know now that she was very ill. Now I have a guideline to work through that process.
References:
Wilson, S. Ph.D. (2001). Hurt people hurt people: Hope and healing for yourself and your relationships. Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers.

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