...trend in marriage and family, known as, cohabitation. I will define cohabitation, explain its sociological acceptance as a new norm, and the sociological effects on a quality relationship; these ideas will help to explain some of the reasons for its new found popularity as the new form of un-marriage. Cohabitation versus Quality Cohabitation is a very complex family structure. For about half of cohabiters, it is a relationship that lasts about 2 years and then ends, either through marriage or just termination. For others, it is a predecessor to marriage. Except for one tenth of these cohabiters, it is just a long-term relationship. Even though the majority of these relationships share many of the qualities of marriage, like sharing a residence and personal resources, monogamy, and, in a substantial number of cases, procreation; we know very little about the quality of cohabiting relationships compared with what we know about the quality of marital relations (Brown and Booth 1996). One of the most fascinating perspectives of relationships today is the new standard by which people relate. Traditionally, there was dating or courtship and then marriage. No exceptions. Marriage is known as the foundation of a family and the basic building block of society which brings significant stability and meaning to human relationships, being the ideal for the raising of children, and being an important role in transmitting culture and civilization to future generations. Before marriage takes...
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...Courtship and Marriage Things You Must Consider Before You Marry By Pastor Ken Raggio Starting Out Alone We all begin as a solo act. We stand alone in the social scheme of things. We have birth relationships - father, mother, sisters, brothers. But in the course of maturing, we generally desire the companionship of additional people. We develop casual relationships through contacts we have in the various segments of society - our neighborhood, our school, our workplace, our church - to name a few. We often carry our casual relationships further as we experience positive and desirable interactions with others. Acquaintances become friendships. We endear ourselves to others with whom we find meaningful compatibilities. "Qualifying" Friendships Every person faces a vastly different challenge when it comes to forming meaningful relationships with others. Some people are extroverted, which means they are socially interactive. They are able to express themselves to others, or make conversation easily, which, over a period of time, creates a large pool of acquaintances from which friendships can be formed. As a rule, an extrovert is likely to have a larger number of prospects from which to choose a friend. On the other hand, an introvert generally lives a more isolated lifestyle, communicating with fewer people. It would stand to reason that the introvert might have fewer choices when it comes to selecting a friend. These personality differences do not...
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...A Critique of Dating and the Single Parent Jeremy L. Hollingsworth Liberty University Abstract “Dating and the Single Parent” (Deal, 2012) is a book that underlines the need for single parents who are dating to slow down and think about what is best for the children that are in the relationship. The book is divided into three main sections. Getting Past Butterflies and Warm Fuzzies, Going Fishing, and Marital Commitment and Stepfamily Preparation. Most of the work was given instruction to learn how to and know why one should have a strong courtship. The other piece of the book is how the author writes it from a Christian worldview. As the title of the book states it is written to aid parents that are thinking about or is dating someone with children. Whatever the cause of the separation from a spouse be it a divorce or death the children have to be at the forefront of the couple mindset. In making the determination of readiness in dating, one should make time to reflect upon past dating patterns and results. This will help in deciding whether one is repeating the same pattern over again or if maturity has been occurring through the dating process. Where is God in the dating process? Is God being trusted in the process of is He being pushed aside and disregarded? How does the partner respond to the kids and how do they respond in return? These are just some of the questions that need to be considered during the dating process. Keywords: Dating, Single, Parent,...
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...Introduction Dating and courtship is a foundation for having a happy and successful marriage. Countless millions of shattered families began with wrong dating habits. These habits made proper courtship impossible. And the results have been tragic. The almost universal effects of modern dating demonstrate widespread ignorance, even on the most basic points of right dating (Eagar, 2002). Almost no one understands the real purpose of dating or of the courtship that can ensue. The next step, achieving a happy marriage, then also becomes impossible. This research paper will try to tackle some points regarding the courtship, dating and marriage to help people achieve a happy home. Dating, followed by courtship, is supposed to lead to a happy marriage. But marriage cannot be happy if it is not built on the right foundation. Most couples have no idea that the foundation of a successful marriage begins long before the wedding day. In addition, a direct by-product of the wrong foundation is that most people have no idea how to select the right mate. “Like a triangle it has three sides, if one side is taken away it would no longer be a triangle. Also in marriage there must be three elements to complete the sacred union.”(Burell, 2000, p. 105-106). Like a triangle, God has to be at the top, and at the foundation it is you and the other significant person at either side. To be close together is to be closer to God. Many have been closer together only to be hurt because God was left...
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...Dating: God’s Way Against the World’s Tiffany R. Jones Liberty University Abstract The subject of dating according to the way of the Lord is isn’t something that is often approached. However, it is very important that Christians apply biblical principals when approaching dating relationships. It is unfortunate that even believers have dismissed the way that the Lord intended for us to establish relationships. As a result, there are an increased number of couples that have become comfortable with dating and choosing to avoid marriage. Whether it’s a dating relationship or a simple friendship, the God should be the foundation. By making sure that things are done the way that the Lord directed, there will be many more healthy relationships in the world. As important as the topic is, dating isn’t one that is discussed in churches today, at least not in the ones that I have been a part of. Many ministries deal with single people and married couples, but seemingly the stage in between goes untouched, leaving those in this stage to fend for themselves. Although dating isn’t mentioned in the bible per say, I believe that there is distinct difference in the way that the secular world presents the dating and mating process and how God directs us to select our mates. The bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (New International Version), “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness...
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...“Courtships and dating through cultures and time” Chapter 1 Sources: http://blog.badonlinedates.com/date-stories-jens-blog/2014/03/fantastic-world-dating-customs.html http://eventective.com/blog/weddings/2008/06/11/worlds-bizarre-wedding-customs/ http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-strange-courtship-rituals.php http://www.everyculture.com/wc/Brazil-to-Congo-Republic-of/Kayapos.html http://www.ticotimes.net/2012/02/17/young-and-in-love-costa-rican-couples-make-a-scene -Polterabend is a German pre-wedding tradition where friends and family come together for an informal party. While that may not seem odd, what they do at these parties certainly is. They break dishes, flowerpots, tiles, toilets, pretty much anything except glasses or mirrors. To symbolize working together through future difficulties, the bride and groom must clean everything up. Due to the need to replace all the broken goods, I suspect that German sellers of housewares are quite fond of this custom. - The Day of the Geese, or Antzar Eguna, is a Spanish tradition in which a greased goose is suspended over water and young men jump from boats and attempt to rip off the head of the goose. This competition serves as a way for young men to prove their strength and eligibility to females. In addition to winning the adoration of young women, the winners also gets to keep the goose. Although this tradition was once practiced all over Spain with live geese, this competition is now only held during the San Antolin...
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...as some of the kids are rejecting others, breaking off friendships, and making “who likes whom” a focus of attention. The pattern becomes more sophisticated as it continues in the middle school years and is in full bloom by the time the children hit high school. I would like to attempt to persuade you that the elementary level of “who likes whom,” and the middle school level of “who is going out with whom,” are not simply innocent and cute stages of life through which everyone must go. As informed Christians professing to glorify the Lord in all things, we need to see if any of this behavior brings glory to God and evaluate the effects of it on our kids. A brief look at the teen dating model and its consequences will show that it is the world’s model, not Christ’s, that we are so accustomed to. Dating is more for a boy and a girl than just spending time together. It’s a lifestyle that involves attitudes and values. It’s a heart thing! Matthew 22:37 says, “And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with...
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...eHarmony Final Paper December 15, 2010 If you are single and looking for long-term love, eHarmony.com Inc. wants to find you the "perfect mate." With traditional values and modern matchmaking possibilities, eHarmony.com has taken the electronic dating scene by storm. eHarmony has united more than 10,000 couples in marriage in its short history and, during 2008, had more than seven million registered users. Background In 2000, eHarmony was founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren an evangelical Christian who worked for 30 years as a psychologist specializing in counseling married couples. He also authored two books, “Finding the Love of Your Life” and “Date…or Soul Mate?”, the former selling over one million copies. After a successful career of counseling married couples and research into marital problems, he came to one solid conclusion. In his biography on eHarmony’s website he states, “In almost every case, these were two persons who should never have married each other! They really didn’t belong together. They thought they did, but they were not well matched”. From there, he identified 29 dimensions that he found were consistently present in successful marriages. Dr. Warren found online dating as an opportunity to take his match making theories to a new level. eHarmony’s competitive advantage is that it established its credibility by using a scientifically developed questionnaire based on Dr. Warren’s 29 dimensions. The questionnaire does not...
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...Traditional Courtship vs. Online Dating The Difference between Traditional courtship and Internet Dating When I was listening to my favorite talk show, Focus on the Family, they talked about the advantages of Internet dating. This allows the listeners, who got married prior the new millennium, to ponder the benefits of online dating, which were absent during their time of courtship. In traditional dating initial eye contact and study of the personality of the person is an important element in determining chemistry. However, what makes traditional dating best is the boundary and purpose that courtship provides. In contrast, online dating is more casual. In traditional dating, couples were introduced to each other by a friend and relative, or they met in a social activity such as their local church, school or family reunion. Nowadays, it is not necessary to meet people face to face in order to start a relationship. The internet changes our lives forever with chat rooms, social networks or online websites. More and more people are drawn to using the internet as a form of dating, with a high cost, and are unaware of the danger that you can face meeting with a stranger. Traditional dating is much better that online dating because traditional dating gives the couple the complement of courtship, commitment and purpose. Traditional dating is not only based in a feeling or a rush gut reaction. It gives the couple the opportunity to know each other before they decide to start a relationship...
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...eHarmony If you are single and looking for long-term love, eHarmony.com Inc. wants to find you the "perfect mate." With traditional values and modern matchmaking possibilities, eHarmony.com has taken the electronic dating scene by storm. eHarmony has united more than 10,000 couples in marriage in its short history and, during 2008, had more than seven million registered users. Background In 2000, eHarmony was founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren an evangelical Christian who worked for 30 years as a psychologist specializing in counseling married couples. He also authored two books, “Finding the Love of Your Life” and “Date…or Soul Mate?”, the former selling over one million copies. After a successful career of counseling married couples and research into marital problems, he came to one solid conclusion. In his biography on eHarmony’s website he states, “In almost every case, these were two persons who should never have married each other! They really didn’t belong together. They thought they did, but they were not well matched”. From there, he identified 29 dimensions that he found were consistently present in successful marriages. Dr. Warren found online dating as an opportunity to take his match making theories to a new level. eHarmony’s competitive advantage is that it established its credibility by using a scientifically developed questionnaire based on Dr. Warren’s 29 dimensions. The questionnaire does not just ask for personal hobbies and interests...
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...growing concept of globalization and the opening up of the world among countries have created an inter- country business (tourism), social (education), and cultural situations where people from different countries must learn the attitude and behavior of each other in order to engage in business and co-exist in this global world (Waldman & Rubalcava, 2005). Furthermore, Globalization has brought about intercultural marriage. In today’s world intercultural marriage is inevitable, therefore potential and existing couples are more likely than not to encounter intercultural differences and intercultural shocks such as divorce (Tallman & Hsiao, 2004) Globalization wise intercultural marriages are vital. They create a new wave of culture called the third culture (Casmir, 1993). Intimacy between persons of diverse cultures is becoming a common phenomenon lately, and has led to an upsurge in intercultural marriages, (Waldman & Rubalcava, 2005; Frame, 2004). There are degrees of differences in marriage including intercultural relationships or marriages. When you meet someone for the first time, you see them; you talk to them, so the first important question is, ‘Do we look alike or the same? Furthermore, you talk to them, so the subsequent question you ask yourself is ‘Do we speak the same language or different language? Do we speak with the same accent or different accents? Do we use the same vocabulary or different vocabulary? (Anon. 2014). ...
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...Today we are going to take a look at my own culture through an outsider's point of view know as an etic point of view while examining that culture from an insider's perspective. We will be covering the arranged child bride marriages of Middle Eastern countries, specifically Pakistan, compared to more complex love matches that are made here in the United States. In this, we will note that while courtship and marriage in United States may be more complex having less health and social risks, child marriage is still the preference in Pakistan. Part I In this part of the paper, we are looking at marriage and courtship in the United States. In the 1930s through the 1940s whirlwind courtships were common. After World War II couples were getting married in their 20s. Today the average age for a male is 28 years of age and 26 years of age for a female to get married. (USA Today 2010) " When I went to college it was normal to date, go steady, get engaged, and then marry soon after graduation." (Colson, 2010) While getting married in college used or at a young age to be the expectation, the American culture is changing. In America, children start dating when in other countries they are already married and have children, at the age of sixteen. The term dating can mean many different...
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...Summary Ron Deal wrote “Dating and the Single Parent”. He starts his book with a foreword, as most books do. However, this is one of the most powerful portions of the book because it gives the reasons for the book. While the content will be summarized, many people (especially the church), have not been dealing or addressing the blended families that are in need of help because the single parent is so prevalent and many people are not going into marriage of blended families with an awareness of how to do this effectively. Here are some shocking, but not unbelievable statistics: 1. “Forty two percent of adults are in a step relationship of some kind. 2. Thirty percent of marriages to attend Family Life’s Weekend to Remember marriage getaways are in blended families. 3. Two-thirds of marriages where one or both partners brings children into the relationship end in divorce” (Deal, 2012). He continues to explain upfront that many of the issues are understanding the difference between “coupleness” and “familyness”, and that the latter is what will create a legacy. The book chapter’s attempts to guide both the single parent and the person interested in dating the parent advice and guidance in the process. The first portion of the book consists of five chapters and it titled “Getting Pas the Butterflies and Warm Fuzzies.” The first chapter “Dating in a crowd: Dating with purpose” (pg. 29) starts off the book with a reminder that when one dates a single parent...
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...Family History Interviews On recent research about family history I learned a lot about how things have changed over time. Dating is a lot different now than it was many years ago, marriage is totally different, as well as many other things. I interviewed a few people from my family as well as people close to my family. It’s very interesting to find out how things have changed drastically since our grandparents were born. The things that we find normal today were looked down upon in the 50’s. But the most interesting thing was getting to know people on a more personal level. My interviewees consist of Louise, 65, Robert, 60, Mary, 44, Larry, 42, Michele, 24, and Edward, 21. The first group of people interviewed was a 44-year-old woman name Mary and 42-year-old Larry. Mary was born in 1970 and grew up in the 90’s. Larry was born in 1972 and also grew up in the same time period. The societies were totally different then than it is now. Getting married at a young age was unheard of in that era. The people that were married were at least 30-40 years old. Society wasn’t much different from what it is now. People were hooking up with each other back then just like they are now. Society is pretty much the same but the only thing that really changed is the technology we have now and the different social medias. Marriage for Mary was highly unlikely because she didn’t find anyone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But for Larry he always wanted to get married one day,...
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...Finding Love Online Literature Review Sonja R. Cherry-Kelly WRTG 391 25 June 2013 In today’s fast pace world access to technology has made life a lot easier. America has come to rely on technology as a mainstay in their life through the use of gadgets such as the computer, smartphones and tablets to name a few. The ability to pay bills online, shop for clothing and food, communicate with family and friends through social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter have most people young and old taking the leap of faith onto the internet bandwagon. In fact, having access to such a vast array of information has open up a plethora of opportunities to include finding love online. While most people welcome this opportunity to find their true love using this alternative there are those who do not share their enthusiasm. Neil Postman the author of Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology believes that America has become too reliant on technology and as such has become a slave to it. He writes that the acceptance of technology as the master means that “a new kind of social order” is inevitable and will lead to “rapid dissolution of much that is associated with traditional beliefs (1992, pg. 71). “ Postman’s beliefs regarding America’s obsession with technology has not stifled people in their pursuit of romance; despite the risks involved such as scams, identity fraud and the stigmas that have been identified with this type of romance, people continue...
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