...This journal discusses what I learned from reading the book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. It goes in depth into what I liked and what I didn’t like about the book. I also discuss how the book relates to my life and how I will use what I learned and apply it to my conversations and to my life in general. The book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, really spoke to me in more ways than one. Throughout the entire book I could relate most, if not all, of what was written to my everyday life. Most of all I have come to realize how I’ve played a crucial role in many conflicts in my past even when I believed I did nothing wrong. I think my biggest takeaway from this book is that everyone plays a part in conflict, that blame does nothing but make things worst and that feelings (when controlled) are a lot more important than I thought. I’ve also learned that I need to let go of a lot of things and start moving on with life. The blame frame: “produces disagreements, denial, and little learning. Evokes fear of punishment. We end up defending ourselves.” I find myself playing the blame game way too often. I was happy to read that everyone contributes when there is conflict. Everyone has a role even if they think they don’t. Thinking back to past conflicts i’ve realized that I find it difficult to move from blaming to a learning conversation. I’ve managed to convince myself that conflict is about right...
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...Difficult Conversations Work Shop # 3 Assignment SS 380A Conflict Resolution Ruth Reno Warner Pacific College October 24, 2010 Difficult Conversations 1. What happened? My 16-year-old son, Keyth wants to get his drivers permit. What is my story? I do not believe he is responsible enough to be behind the wheel of a car, at this time. A. What are/were my intentions? My intentions are to make him wait another year to mature and show me he can continue to get to work and school on time, using public transportation. B. What Do I think the other person’s intentions are/were? Keyth’s intentions are to be able to drive back and forth to work and school. Then have the ability to drive anywhere, he wants too. C. What did I do to contribute to the problem? Well I will not take him to get it because he is still unable to control his temper, be responsible with his money, pay his bills on time with gratefulness, and his marijuana usage. 2. What Happened? When I took him in May 17, 2010 to take the test, he failed. Since then he has not expressed interest in going back, nor has he studied any more of the handbook. Therefore, I quit asking him about it. A. What would the other person say happened? That bugged him too much about it and that I should leave him alone. What was the impact on me? I continually say no to him with regards in driving my cars. B. What impact did I have on the other person? He gets angry and sometimes becomes loud and upset, punching...
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...communication is defined as a process by which we assign and convey meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in intrapersonal and interpersonal processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing, and evaluating. A difficult conversation is any conversation that you dread and perhaps seek to avoid, if possible. There are the situations that keep you up at night in anticipation that you put off or face up to like bad medicine. Our typical approach to the complexity of what happened, the reality of feeling and potential threat to our identity tend to make our conversations more difficult, rather than more productive, often escalating conflict, hurting feelings and damaging relationships indeed, it is our intuitive understanding of this danger that leads us to want to avoid such conversations given how we are likely to handle the conversations, our fears are justified. But unfortunately sometimes assumptions make avoiding a conversation just as problematic. We continue to feel upset. We may feel like such a wimp for not...
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...Preparing for the Difficult Conversation 1.) My purpose for having this conversation is to have a better understanding on both sides of the situation and why it is going on. I hope to accomplish a middle ground and a solution to the problem. I would need to behave in a manner of competency and respect in order to achieve this motive. 2.) My emotional reaction was confusion to the strong situation. There have been similar situations in my life where this conversation seems like a heavy load. For example, school projects with team members that do not cooperate well. Patrick and Lisa are both pushing some historical sensitivity that makes it harder for me to read the situation. To adjust my volume of reactivity in my emotional response I must keep mindfulness. 3.) I have an ambitious attitude for this difficult conversation, to find a solution to the incident. I fear the worst-case scenario about how Patrick and Lisa will react is that I am taking one side. When I will equally hear both sides. I believe that telling yourself something good will come off of having this difficult conversation does make having it easier and worth it. 4.)...
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...Final Paper Difficult Conversations By Wayne State University School of Social Work Social Work 6991 Professor Pauline Everette Fall 2012 Conflict is everywhere we go, at home, school, church in the community and especially at work. How we decide to handle the conflict at hand will determine whether we strengthen the relationship or break it up. Each situation can be dealt with in a way that can bring healing instead of animosity and further pain. Most of the time conflict is looked at as a negative experience that most people refuse to be a part of because of their own lack of conflict management skills; but if both parties are willing to sit down and discuss the issue, there is a possibility of a positive resolution. If conflict is dealt with properly and successfully from the beginning then there will be a greater understanding from each individual involved and an increased likelihood of unity as well as an improved relationship. In this paper I will discuss difficult conversations I had with my son, John, (name change for confidentiality), when he was 16 years old, who is now 26. As a teenager I expect him to go through teenage issues, I expect conflict which is a natural part our interactions, and disagreements, but as a parent I must effectively address these conflicts/disagreements to improve our relationship and to promote growth. After experiencing these issues with John I have a to react based on the different individual personalities...
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...Small Talk—Engaging Children Who Have Communication Needs By Jan Bunce and Terri Mitchell part of the conversation. Consider the following example: see?” Such repetition helps children to anticipate what comes next and to become familiar with the story. Eventually they will begin to use the repeated phrases themselves, as in this example: ommunication is nearly always the foremost concern of parents and teachers of children with special needs, regardless of the type of disability a child might have. For most children, talking is just “doing what comes naturally.” The ability to express what’s important to them develops smoothly and easily. But what happens when talking does not come as naturally? In most classrooms, the more children listen, the less they talk. Therefore, it’s important to allow time for children to carry on conversations with adults and peers. Remember, too, that opportunities for children’s conversations occur throughout the day in a High/Scope program. Here are some ideas for supporting children’s language. They are helpful for all children, but particularly those with special communication needs: U Encourage natural conversation. Often work time is considered the time for choice, play, and talking. But children will have more to say if freedom of expression is encouraged during all parts of the daily routine. By conversing naturally with others, both in groups and one-on-one with peers or adults, children develop trust and a sense of security. We...
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...Leadership Is a Conversation by Boris Groysberg and Michael Slind The command-and-control approach to management has in recent years become less and less viable. Globalization, new technologies, and changes in how companies create value and interact with customers have sharply reduced the efficacy of a purely directive, top-down model of leadership. What will take the place of that model? Part of the answer lies in how leaders manage communication within their organizations—that is, how they handle the flow of information to, from, and among their employees. Traditional corporate communication must give way to a process that is more dynamic and more sophisticated. Most important, that process must be conversational. We arrived at that conclusion while conducting a recent research project that focused on the state of organizational communication in the 21st century. Over more than two years we interviewed professional communicators as well as top leaders at a variety of organizations—large and small, blue chip and start-up, for-profit and nonprofit, U.S. and international. To date we have spoken with nearly 150 people at more than 100 companies. Both implicitly and explicitly, participants in our research mentioned their efforts to “have a conversation” with their people or their ambition to “advance the conversation” within their companies. Building upon the insights and examples gleaned from this research, we have developed a model of leadership that we call “organizational...
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...-To Build Trust- *Acknowledge feelings-emotional response* -Never pretend they don’t show -If you ignore your own or the other parties emotional response to that of another you damage trust between both. -Accept Criticism- Constructive criticism is key between both parties. -Evaluate its merit -Choose to *ignore it, follow it or take issue with it -Acknowledgement- *Difficult Conversations* -Require Trust- -constructive criticism -Safety – view as threat (communication not working, must revise approach) -respect -Acknowledgement -Requires Mutual Interest- -Common ground -Win-Win -Relate to other party(s) of the conversation (stay open-minded) *Exchange of information by 2 or more parties through a medium of transmittal such as writing, speaking, or signing. -pay attention to other party -If other party is withdrawing or starts to verbally attack you, communication is not effective at the moment you may need to revise approach… -Thinking of how you would feel in the same situation…Listen to how they feel and watch them. Ask yourself if they are withdrawing from the conversation revise the approach before it gets that far. -Trust – Sense of safe space -Communication- - 3 types of communication- Verbal – expressed in spoken or written language Non-Verbal – does not rely on the written or spoken word. *Virtual- Synchronous – takes place in real time simultaneous...
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...LEARN FRENCH..........STARTING FROM LIPS so here's the first lesson Equipments Required: There are only two important things to learn this language.A girl of your choice and a very strong and deep feeling of learning this language How To Start: Eyes are the best part of any conversation and people in France use a lot of this organ to well express their feelings.So to learn french it is very essential to learn to make a successful eye-contact.Remember without a successful eye-contact,speaking in french specially through lips become very uneffective. For a beautiful eye-contact make your eyes very genuine.Try not to stare but make your eyes as clear as your heart,making it easier for your partner to see through it into your heart.Now it depends on your partner's capability of seeing through your eyes Now to make the eye-contact a successful one,get a bit close to her,not much but close enough to feel her body near yours and accompany it with a small smile.This will ease up the situation and develop a feel of trust and understanding because in this language it is very important to make a bond of trust with your partner's mind.But see to it that u dont smile too much and ease up the situation a bit too much that u end up giving her a greedy look and an awkward look in return.An enough smile to make her feel comfortable but a bit confused and anxious to know what's going on. And while she is lost in your eyes searching for anwser to that,make your swift move which will give her...
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...Essential Guidelines for the Servant Evangelism Projects & Report How to do the servant evangelism project 1. This Servant Evangelism Report must document TWO true, face-to-face encounters a. (not a virtual encounter – via www, email, IM etc) with unbeliever in a setting in which you served them unconditionally. The servant evangelism encounter must take place within the semester that the student is enrolled in this particular course. 2. The three P’s to Servant Evangelism- b. P- PERSONAL: These 2 encounters must be personal- face to face- encounters done within this semester. c. P- PRACTICAL/PHYSICAL: In both of these encounters you must meet the physical needs of another individual. Even though prayer, and bible study are essential to the Christian life and growth. These are unacceptable forms of servant evangelism and do not meet the requirements of this assignment. This assignment is for you to meet the physical needs of another individual (Matthew 25:31-46; James 2:14-20). (SEE end of document for a list approved, and unacceptable Servant Evangelism projects.) d. P- PENNILESS: In both of these servant evangelism encounters you may not receive money for your work. This must be a free service to those you are serving. NOTE: All servant Evangelism Papers will be graded by the 3-P system (see above). If your assignment does not fulfill the three P’s it will receive a grade deduction. 3. The point of the service...
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...Good Listener: 1. Me and my friend was chatting in one of the café in Lippo Plaza Medan It happened not long ago, maybe around 2 or 3 weeks ago. Me and my friend, Sheryl, were having lunch together in one of the café in Lippo Plaza before we watched a film in Cinemaxx. Actually, she just went back from Singapore. I started by asking how she did in Singapore. She just sighed and answered that it was tiring. And then, she asked me back the question that I asked earlier. I just answered that studying in Medan is easier than in Singapore. Because I’m a talkative person, I continued by telling her how I studied in UPH. When I was telling the story, she kept her eye contact with me and sat upright posture. From the way she sat and watching me, it made me know that she was listening to what I was saying. During that time, the food came late, which made me to tell more stories to her because I hadn’t met her for a year. She had not even checked her phone or looked at her watch which made me sure that she was really listening to me. She even gave me advices when I told her that I had problems with my group assignment members. When I told her my sad story, she also felt sad which clearly showed in her facial expression and when I told her some of the jokes, she also became happy and showed me a happy smile and laugh in her face. By giving advices, smile and laugh, it made me so happy that she was listening and understanding of what I said. She really is a good listener. 2. Chatting...
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...be overcome, but can also make you a better person. She is not pleased with her life as a Farm Girl, and she voices her displeasure often throughout the first three quarters of the essay. “I think to myself, ‘A typical ten-year-old child does not have to wake up at five in the morning to do chores!’” (Hemauer, 2011) However, once she realizes the quality of person she has become, she makes an educated and reasoned conclusion that it is due to the work she did helping with chores on her father’s farm. “Though I hated it growing up, working on the farm has taught me many lessons about life, and it has shaped me into the individual I am today.” (Hemauer, 2011) Another point she tries to make as well is that life on a working farm is difficult. She opens with a description of performing her morning chores with her brother and her sisters. This particular morning is described as being very cold and windy due to a blizzard: There is a brisk and bitter wind accompanied by icy snowflakes that feel like needles digging into our faces. We don’t turn back. We desperately want to, but we know my father is patiently waiting for us to help him milk and feed the cows before school starts...
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...When a company is small, communication among employees is as simple as rolling a desk chair around the room to talk to the president, the admin, or the chief engineer. But as a company grows, communication becomes more difficult. And strategic direction can suffer as a result, even if those at the top assume otherwise. "Having communication that goes bottom-up is just as important as having communication that goes top-down." "In many cases you have an executive team that's so sure about company strategy, but then you go inside the organization and find that nobody else has a clue," says Harvard Business School Professor Boris Groysberg. "Nobody knows what strategic conversations are actually unfolding." For that reason, many CEOs are reconsidering the classic command-and-control structure in which a few people are sending all the directives from the top of the corporate hierarchy. Instead, they are adopting a conversational approach. In their new book, Talk, Inc.: How Trusted Leaders Use Conversation to Power Their Organizations, Groysberg and communication professional Michael Slind show how several global companies are adopting principles of face-to-face conversation, and why this approach positively affects a company's bottom line. "In many ways the book is not about communication as much as it is about performance," Groysberg says. "In an economic environment where there is so much uncertainty, the senior management of a company might not know where the company...
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...Leadership is a Conversation The answer lies how leaders manage communication within their organizations, how they handle the flow of information ,among their employees. Traditionally corporate must give a dynamic process to communication so that it must be conversational. There was a research project focused on organizational communication in 21st century with a period of more than two years they interviewed top leaders of variety of organizations large or small, nearly 150 people of more than 100 companies to see how conversation effort make effective onto the person to their ambition and how advance the conversation flow in their organizations. , I think this post finessed around one of the biggest challenges of leadership – large, geographically dispersed organizations. The authors briefly discuss physical proximity and argue that it is not essential, arguing that the spirit on informal conversation alone is sufficient. there must be a communications system that guides everyone to speak to each other in this conversational way. Over the last 15 years, in working with organizations on leadership development, cultural change and performance improvement. Getting Close: Personal conversation is to flourish the degree that the participants stay close to each other, as well as literally. Organizational conversation requires leaders to minimize the distances institution, attitude, with decision making authority seek and earn the trust and careful attention who work...
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...Analysis of Difficult Conversation Situations The environment of the organization is an important parameter which enhances the overall productivity of the employees. Recently three incidents have been reported which have resulted in deteriorating the environment and have resulted in situations that have harmed the culture of the organization. The situations are described and analyzed below in detail. David and Jeremy: A confrontational conversation took place between David, director of the company, and Jeremy an ambitious researcher. Which eventually resulted in resignation of Jeremy and loss of crucial company asset. David’s intentions were not to get rid of Jeremy but to convey the negative feedback in a neutral way. David did not like conflicts whereas Jeremy was driven by his superiority complex because of the higher status of his academic background and he always took a defensive stance when being criticized. At the start of the conversation, David opted for the indirect approach and started with a lighter note to ease the flow of conversation, but judging Jeremy`s response, he adopted the painful-but-quick bombshell (direct) approach and became blunt about Jeremy’s attitude which was affecting the performance of the department. While, Jeremy got the wrong impression at the start and had assumed David had called him to praise about his recent performances, so he maintained his haughty attitude. David could have handled the situation better by splitting the conversation into two...
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