Father's Name? Father's Occupation? Father's Address?"

What am I supposed to write? These questions are on every one of my college applications. Maybe I don't really have to answer them. I move on to other questions and hit another tough one.

"Are your parents divorced, married,single?" I check divorced.

"What is the date of their divorce?"

I have no idea. "Hey, Mom!" I shout. "When did you get your divorce?"

"November 1982," she replies after a pause. One year after I was born. "Let me show you something," she says.

"I don't wanna see anything," I shout back.

"Just come and look at this."

I walk into her room; the hope chest is open and I smell mothballs. When it's open she's walking down memory lane. She thrusts a paper in my face.

"This is what I got in the divorce." The hope chest is on the list.

"That's great. I don't care!" I say and walk out.

I don't care about the stuff, but I do care that I've never met my father. These college applications must be getting to me. Most seniors filling them out aren't pondering their father's name and address. They're worrying about the essays while I'm stumped by simple questions.

I pick up the Profile Application. I need to apply for financial aid, just like everyone else, but I need it badly. My father never paid child support and my mother has worked hard to support me. But hard work only goes so far and definitely doesn't come to $30,000 a year.

I'm bitter about that. I should have money coming to me; it would ease a lot of worry. But I'd rather be in debt than take his money. I probably will be in debt for the rest of my life.

I don't really want to meet him.Part of me does, but I could never love him the way I love my grandfather, my father figure. Seeing my father would just make me remember all the times my mother has cried. My life has been filled with talk about him. His