You got me fallin’... (again)

“Have you experienced falling out of love? That moment when you felt like you’re tired of trying, you’re sick of everything, and you’re heart just wanted to stop pumping.”

Our love lasted for two and a half years. It was my fault. It was I, who messed up the whole relationship. I wanted freedom. I wanted space. I wanted to go on a party without asking for his permission. I wanted to enjoy life without him putting limitations. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to be far from him. I don’t why. I love him but I wanted these things. These cause our relationship to grow weaker. Our petty fights and pointless conversations had pushed me to walk away.
We separate ways.
He let me go.
He let me explore the world without him.
I was able to do everything that I wanted to.
I’ve found the happiness that I was looking for.
I became free.
I thought it was the right decision until one day I saw him with another girl. Yes. He was with someone else. My fingers were shaking and my tears wanted to burst out. I was telling myself that I should control it. I must. I need to. Again, I wanted to walk away.
I was not able to escape from that moment. I wanted to turn hours to seconds. I’ve decided to face my fears. I still remain on my seat and watch him happy with someone else. I watched him happy without me.
On that very moment, I know he saw me.
He saw me but he didn’t do anything.
He saw me as if he didn’t recognize me.
I wanted to shout at him. I wanted to talk to him and ask for explanations. I wanted to punch him in his face for replacing me. But I can’t. I shouldn’t.
I began questioning myself, “Should I have any regrets?”
I was the one who should take the consequences.
I was the one who broke up with him.
I was the one who hurt him.
I was the one who walked away.
I avoid having conversations with him after what happened.
I wanted to