...health issues and other disagreements can strain a marital relationship but such problems may not cause as much heartache and desolation as infidelity (Fife & Weeks, 2008). This is because unfaithfulness undermines the foundation of a relationship. Nevertheless, an affair does not necessarily have to mean the end of a relationship. Given time to heal and with a common goal to rebuild the relationship, it is possible for a couple to emerge from infidelity with a relationship that is stronger and more sincere than before. It is difficult to determine exactly how many couples have had affairs, but one study found 37% of men and 20% of women admitted to being unfaithful (Rutherford, 2008). Men tend to have affairs for sexual reasons while women stray more for emotional reasons. In other words, men may be seeking sexual gratification in an affair while women may be seeing emotional gratification of the need to feel special. Does the discovery of an affair mean the marriage is over or irreparably damaged? Not necessarily. Fifty percent of marriages stay together following the discovery of an affair. Two thirds do not divorce if the couple seeks counseling (Rutherford, 2008). Living with the after effects of an affair may be very unpleasant. The fact that one’s partner committed infidelity is likely to destroy that individual’s self-respect. He or she may begin to wonder about their own personal value. Surviving an infidelity must begin by repairing one’s self-respect. It is common...
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...bigger. In Yukio Mishima's Thermos Bottles, a Japanese businessman has an extended stay in San Francisco away from his family in which he runs into an old lover. In the story, Mishima symbolically displays the extinction of Imperial Japan through his characters' mannerisms and subtle aspects of it. The symbol of the samurai and geisha within Kawase's relationships with Kimiko and Asaka embody Mishima's concept of artificiality in the Japanese domestic scene. Kawase and Kimiko had a traditional and dominance-based relationship in their marriage. They lived customary lives in which Kimiko was loyal and dependent of her husband. Though in his absence, infidelity caused a rift between the two sides of the family. Kawase disregarded his family's "loneliness" (56) the night in San Francisco where Asaka "stayed the night" (54). Kawase and Kimiko have a relationship in which their roles are similar to those of a samurai and geisha. Although they are married, Kawase only gives so much concern for his wife while staying in San Francisco. Instead of returning home to her, he put it off to spend time with a woman whom he had an affair with. The samurai, similar to Kawase, did not fully commit to a geisha as she was used for pleasure or entertainment. Kimiko likewise respected and highly regarded her husband as would a geisha to a samurai. The two's extramarital affairs exemplify the samurai and geisha's satisfying but disloyal relationship. Though the geisha and samurai's roles and Kimiko...
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...of the nineteenth century, a type of novel centered on wifely adultery flourished in Continental Europe”.1 Examples include Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlett Letter”, Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina” and Gustav Flaubert’s “Madame Bovary”, but also short stories by the Russian writer Anton Chekhov. The topic of adultery could be explored in many different ways and where most writers focused on the social problems of infidelity, especially when committed by a woman, Chekhov presented the relationships between the lovers and their families. Furthermore, I feel like the characters always give some kind of justification for being unfaithful, may this be a sensible reason or not. Therefore, for the purpose of this paper, I would like to further explore the “justifications” given by the cheating parties, the way it affects their relationships with their spouses and family, but also the role that society plays in the way that they handle their respective affairs. Furthermore, I will take a look at the way in which the characters deal with the guilt that they have, concerning their spouses and personal consequences. For this reason, I will be examining two short stories by Chekhov, “The Grasshopper”, published in 1892 and “The Lady with the Dog” from 1899, as well as the play “Three Sisters” from 1900. Furthermore, I would like to start with a brief look at the socio-historic context that the texts were written, in particular, what women social status was and how it was affected by adultery...
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...Tangled Web #2: Were the punishments for James Gansman, Donna Murdoch, and Gerald Brodsky fair? This is an opinion question in which everyone has their own judgment on. I personally think that the punishments for James Gansman and Gerald Brodsky were somewhat fair because they both did something wrong. The sentence for Gansman should have been harsher because he was really the one who gave out the information. Gansman was being really unfaithful to Ernst and Young by giving out private information. He had agreed that he wouldn't leak anything when he first joined the company. His sentence was not very big, but the fact that he was not allowed working for Ernst and Young anymore seemed very fair and a good punishment for him. I am sure that in the future if he tries to find another job it would be difficult for him. On the other hand, Donna should have gotten a sentence too because she shared the information to Gerald. She also was breaking the law. If she got a sentence, it definitely should have been harsher than Gansman's. Murdoch being freed is somewhat ridiculous. #3: Is Ashley Madison based on an ethical business model? In my opinion Ashley Madison is somewhat based on an ethical business model. They have turned the business into something that is in the limit of the law. It also replicates rules like any other business. Though, since it is a dating site it is also not totally on the business side. In my opinion it is kind of half and half. On one side...
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...Consensual Relationship Agreements Case Study The Purpose of this project is to examine the Consensual Relationship Agreement Case (CRA) Study. In developing the project concepts will be identified in the areas of organizational behavior models of individual, group, and organizational processes; how ethical decisions are made, and concepts of individual differences, personality traits, and perspectives. According to Hellriegel & Slocum (2011) the characteristics of a Consensual Relationship Agreement is defined as an written agreement in which consenting romantically involved staff members acknowledge their relationship is consensual and voluntary; to avoid actions that others may find offensive in the office; follow the employers workplace rules of conduct to include anti-harassment and anti-discrimination; relationship must not affect work performance and behave professionally; report actual or perceived harassment immediately; and not engage in favoritism. After reviewing a second CRA on the internet, an employer and employee confirms that a sexual or romantic relationship between employees is consensual and voluntary. (Bloomsbury Business Library, 2007) In analyzing the case, Consensual Relationship Agreements, the following categories will be addressed: (1) Argue for the use of Consensual Relationship Agreements in Your current (or future) Workplace; (2) Create a counter argument against the use of CRAs in your current (or future) workplace; (3) Discuss...
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...There are many reasons relationships can break down, Duck suggested 3 main reasons in 1999. Firstly, lack of skills; this refers to to inability to connect with one another for example if someone lacks social skills they will be unable to communicate their satisfaction or attract with their partner, this leads to an unrewarding outcome and the relationship may breakdown. This theory of thinking your partner isn't interested is supported by extramarital affairs, Boekhout(1999) used university students to say what would lead to an affair; for males it was lack of sexual stimuli and for women it was lack of emotional satisfaction. Both suggesting that their partners aren't interested in them either sexually or emotionally. This study lacks population validly as only university students were used, therefore it can't be generalised to the majority of the population. The reasons for to have an affair may change with age and the marital statues of the couple. This is supported by real world application, couples who struggle with social skills can take part in a Couples Coping Enchantment training, this sensitises couples to the idea of equity and aid them in communicating. Cina et al (2003) compared to groups of couples a controlled group who didn't receive CCET and the test group who did, she found that the test group had a better quality of marriage after receiving the training. This study despite having a large participant number can not be generalised to the entirety as it has cultural...
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...Gritty Realism During the 1890s, many women were limited to what they were allowed to do. They could not go to school, have a job, or even vote. Men viewed women as though they were only meant to bear children and be a housewife. However, a writer by the name of Kate Chopin was a voice for women all the over the world. Two of her most famous writings are “The Storm”, and “Story of an Hour”. Within these two writings, she discussed issues that many other women writers would have avoided. Another writer who was famous for his portrayal of gritty topics was Ernest Hemingway. One of his most memorable writding is titled “Hills like White Elephants”. These writers were able to write about challenging realistic new ideas such as freedom after the death of a love one, abortion, and adultery. Although some of these stories are deemed gritty, Hemingway’s “Hills like White Elephants” deals with realistic issues couples often face. These writings also have ironic undertones such as, when Mrs. Mallards dies from seeing from dead husband and the girl who thinks about abortion, but notices greener fields on the other side of the track. Furthermore realism is when an author intends to tell real life events to his/her audience. Realism can appear in many different aspects of society. When it comes to writing, realism focuses on the average individual, and can be heard as a voice for the ordinary human being. There is a focus on realistic people and events. For example in...
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...Ministry of Gender Equality, Child Development and Family Welfare Page 1 of 1 Learnt behaviour as a child This states that the perpetrator of domestic violence is one who has learnt such behaviour when he or she was a child. It can happen that the abuser is one who comes from a violent home. Extra-marital affairs These are an increasing factor in marital conflicts which lead to domestic violence. Extramarital affairs are frequent and the lack of trust, doubtful and suspicious attitudes lead to disputes which can lead to physical abuse/beating of partners. Marital/conjugal responsibilities are neglected/avoided due to extra marital affairs. These again lead to disputes, domestic violence and sometimes separation/divorce. Children may suffer due to separation/divorce of parents due to neglect by either parent who is more concerned about their affair. Personality pattern/Nature of the partner (quarrelsome/dominant role) The personality pattern of certain people (as defined by their innate tendencies and the impact of environment (parents, family, relatives /socialisation) might have been shaped in such a fashion that a partner assumes a leading/dominant role in a marital/conjugal relationship. This can lead to clashes between partners who are of different schools of thought, ways and patterns of upbringing and education. Non-adjustment, Non-acceptance and Non-understanding of a relationship in conflict can lead to domestic violence. Irresponsible/Careless partners Partners who...
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...Running Head: ADULTERY AND WHY IT MATTERS ENGL126-Sound Writing Skills Instructor: x Final Author May 09, 2011 The gimmick filled reality television and high-speed internet has spun us for a loop and left people so dizzy, they have forgotten which way is up. In an article from Time, Caitlin Flanagan explains why marriage matters and Olivia Stren from Flare discusses why women are optimistic about being given the opportunity to have an affair. As if it is now fashionable to cheat on your wife or husband, adultery has become a socially accepted “norm” as a result of changing demographics and its prevalent nature. This moral regression will leave our society scarred if left unchecked. Adultery cannot be dissected and understood without first understanding the institution of marriage and what it stands for. Let us forgo the typical, contract idea, “in sickness and in health” and the whole “love” thing and settle with the belief, for this argument, that marriages are the beginning of a new generation. Marriage is intended to raise the children, to protect, and instill in that new generation the teachings we want them to take into the future to make our world the best it can be (Flanagan, 2009). With that said, what is marriage as it stands today? If children are watching the moral fabric of society, one of the oldest traditions in the history of our people, melt away and be replaced with selfishness and depression? We are creating the ultimate “Me-Generation” who...
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...current (or future) workplace. Organizational culture reflects the shared and learned values, beliefs, and attitudes of their employees. In reality, organizational culture is the personality of the organization—which sometimes is difficult to fully express in words. This is the norm for most employees in the organization, they sense it and know it is their daily behaviors. Organizational cultures may vary from having a weak ethical culture to a strong one. "Consensual relationship agreements," the legal name for the love contracts, became the office buzz word about eight years ago in the wake of former President Clinton's relationship with former-White House intern Monica Lewinsky. White House Corporate counsels grew fearful that an affair involving one of their executives could end in a big-bucks liability payout. “Consensual relationship agreements” help employers avoid legal liability if an office romance has an adverse outcome for the parties involved. This relationship is voluntarily and occasionally involuntary which brings about sexual harassment. It should be encouraged that most workers, especially senior executives, sign a "love contracts" that shield employers from liability if intimacy later congeals into a sexual harassment lawsuit or some other discord. The contracts, most common in the entertainment industry, also act as a formal way for a couple to disclose a relationship in case their dalliance could affect the bottom line or generate negative publicity...
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...“ Common Themes Found in Kate Chopin's Short Stories Kimberley J. Dorsey Stevenson University English 152, Writing About Literature 152-OME1 Charlotte Wulf November 14, 2010 Abstract Many of Kate Chopin’s short stories share the common themes of female oppression. The females in her stories are trying to find a way to escape their oppression and have a sense freedom and individuality. They either commit adultery or fantasize about it as a way to explore their feminine sexuality and obtain a sense of freedom. Common Themes Found in Kate Chopin's Short Stories Kate Chopin, an American novelist and short story writer. Born in 1851 and died in 1904 (cerebral hemorrhage). Chopin lived in Louisiana during her marriage to a Louisiana businessman and began writing after her husband’s death; being left to raise six children alone. Many of her stories are based on her knowledge of Creole and Cajun life during the time she lived there. She is best known for her novel “The Awakening,” considered Chopin’s masterpiece was subject to harsh criticism at the time criticism for its frank approach to sexual themes (Toth, 1988-1999, p. 1). Her attitude seen throughout her writing’s are about a woman’s place as being in the home and her purpose in life is to nurture her husband and children. Being against oppression Chopin chose to write about these issues through fiction, expressing...
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...Irregularities He nodded over and over again: I could smell his aftershave. ’’There are art in imperfection,’’ he said, finally, parting his lips and breathing in slowly. ‘’True beauty lies in the nature’s mistakes.’’ The short story Irregularities is told by a woman. The text is written in past tense but shifts to present tense, when the narrator tells that Dr Soleander’s wife couldn’t go to the Hilton Head, and continues to the end of the story. In the beginning of the text the narrator is struggling with her body which is more or less out of control because of her pregnancy. She is working as an administrative assistant at the cardiac care unit. She and her boss Dr Soleander have had an affair. Unfortunately the narrator turned out to be pregnant. It is clear through the text that the narrator has problems with her perception of life and the following responsibility of her acts. The narrator is not like most other assistants working for the cardiac care unit with good lifestyles and healthy changes in life. The narrator has just started eating onions, which is one of the most essential vegetables we eat from our earliest days to our death. It shows us that she is different and perhaps she had a tough childhood with parents who didn’t look after her and her health. Maybe that is why she feels comfortable with the attention she gets from Dr Soleander. Somehow or another the narrator doesn’t understand Dr Soleanders sudden need for her. He has a beautiful, sweet and well groomed...
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...Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary Book Critique: His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley, Jr. A Paper Submitted to Dr. Brown In Partial Fulfillment Of the Requirements for the Course Preventing Ministry Failure LEAD 625 By Adrian Mack 27 January 2014 CONTENTS SUMMARY 2 CRITIQUE 3 EVALUATION 4 Summary In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard F. Harley, Jr. is not solely talking about affairs, but is elaborating on the underlying themes of communication and selflessness. In the first chapter, Harley explains that when a person explains their relationship problems to someone external to the relationship, it can easily lead to an affair because a bond forms with this new person and he or she understands the needs that one yearns for in their life, time and again able to meet the needs if an affair begins (Harley 20). During his tenure counseling couples, Dr. Harley has recognized that men and women each have unique preferences in regards to their needs, and often differing perspectives on how the relationship would be “perfect.” Harley conceptualizes this with his analogy of a bank. Hence, communication, both talking and listening about problems and needs, is not the only necessary means to improve a relationship, but one must be willing to make the relationship work by considering not only themselves, but their significant other. For Harley, it is not about whether or not one is “skilled”...
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...to be very confused, maybe he has many things going on in his mind, he cannot control. He wants to stand out of the crowd and don’t be like the mannequins, he is talking about in the beginning; boring, unable to really fell, sleep, eat etc. He is the type of man who sleeps with many women, but does not let them get close to him emotionally. Gerald feels stabbing love for his eight-year-old daughter. She has short brown hair with Hello Kitty clips pinned cleanly to her head. We get the felling that Lucy is the light of Gerald’s life. Gerald hired a nanny named Indira, a heavy-set Barnard student from New Delhi. She cooks dinner every weeknight and helps Lucy with her homework. Indira’s father is dead, and she is becoming a part of the family with...
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...------------------------------------------------- Top of Form Find: Bottom of Form MagazineArchive Embracing the Fear of Failure By Carlin Flora , published on October 26, 2004 "He who never makes mistakes, never makes anything," goes an English Proverb. Unless we learn to embrace failure (whether it's led by an unavoidable mishap, a moral lapse, or a risk miscalculated), we remain snugly tucked inside our comfort zone. The pressure to be perfect leaves us tip-toeing around family members or coasting on automatic pilot at work, feeling safe but stagnated—and not quite alive. From vaccines to Velcro, many inventions were spawned from accidents, seeming failures. But when Fiona Lee, psychology and business professor at the University of Michigan, explored which conditions help people experiment with novel ideas, she uncovered an interesting phenomenon: "Managers talk a lot about innovation and being on the cutting edge, but on an individual level, many people are not willing to try new things." What's holding us back? A fear of failure. "Corporate America has very little tolerance for failure," Lee reports. Compensation is typically based on tasks well-done, not spectacular (and costly) failures that could eventually produce breakthroughs. Bosses preach innovation, and yet they hover over workers, poised to slap wrists. Lee's study concluded that rewarding employees who repeatedly try new things and fail leads to more innovation and more long-term success. But the...
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