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Fidelity In Couple's Therapy

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Personally, I feel there are benefits of why fidelity should be out in the open in couple’s therapy. I have always heard “what you don’t know can’t hurt you” and I have felt like there are some things, like infidelity that no matter how painful, should be known. I feel, not knowing about the infidelity it would be hard for a couple in crisis to move forward. Moreover, a partner may feel like the other is distracted, but, they are cheating, so how can a couple resolve issues if there is no accountability or honesty for one’s actions? In contrast, I can see that knowing about infidelity could cause a lot of pain and hurt to be morally honest with one’s partner. Per Butler, Rodriguez, & Feinauer, (2010) some exceptions for a counselor to consider are: (a) one partner is suffering from terminal illness; (b) divorce papers have been filed; (c) if there is possibility for physical abuse; (d) one of the partners is suffering from a serious mental health disorder that could affect the overall ability to facilitate healing: or (e) many years have passed since the partner was unfaithful and the reasons why they have chosen couples therapy is unrelated to the previous infidelity. Additionally, counselors may need to judge the risk of harm to the other partner and whether it is relevant to the couple’s future (Butler, Rodriguez, & Feinauer, 2010).

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