David Miller
Professor Johnson
2/22/13
ENGH 201-009
A Handmaids Tale- page 39-40

In this passage, Atwood explains how Offred is sitting in her room (as per usual) and thinking about her former life. Offred explains that she has forgotten a large portion of time, which she believes to be faulted by the government. It is also explained that the authorities had forced her to either take a pill, or have some sort of injection, which acted as a catalyst for her not remembering certain portions of her life. In her state of reminiscing about all these memories, Offred is reminded when the authorities told her that she was unfit to look after her daughter. As this shocked Offred with a numb feeling of failure, Offred also remembers the authorities showing her a picture of her daughter wearing a white dress, holding the hand of a strange woman. As Offred recounts these memories, she imagines that she is telling her story to someone, telling that “someone” things that cannot be written down because writing is forbidden in this authoritarian society.
I believe that Atwood uses this passage because she is trying to have us as readers be made aware that Offred is a prisoner of her own memories. In fact, often in this novel, the reader see’s Offred drift off in her room and drown herself in these states of reminiscing about certain memories as well as dreaming about how life could and should be. Offred longs and yearns to tell a story and explains that someone else is hearing the story she is telling. Offred seems to be slipping in to this dream world that we as readers gain a sense of when she says, “I must be telling it to someone, you don’t tell a story only to yourself. There’s always someone else” (Atwood 39). Offred has jailed herself from the harsh realities of her day-to-day life and wants to sincerely believe that “someone” will be listening to this story that she is telling. While describing what Offred remembers of her daughter through memories, Atwood uses the quote, “You’ve killed her, I said. She looked like an angel, solemn, compact, made of air,” to describe the dull, empty, and non-emotional daughter that the government has turned her into (39). Atwood might have used this quote to let readers know that Offred isn't completely in a dream world, where things are meant to look all-positive. In fact, Offred for a split second seems to be floating back up to reality.
Of the more important quotes that help support the general thesis of the essay is, “ I would like to believe this is a story I’m telling. I need to believe it, I must believe it. Those who can believe that such stories are only stories have a better chance. If it’s a story I’m telling than I have control over the ending. There will be an ending to the story and real life will come after it. I can pick up where I left off” (39). These words suggest that Offred is not recounting events from afar; she is looking back on an earlier period in her life. Rather, she is describing the horror of Gilead as she explains it from day to day. I will add parenthetically that this quotation from chapter 7 reflects the connection between Offred’s story, her lost family, her readers, and her inner state. As we as readers begin to peal each section of the quote away we as readers will gain the sense that for Offred, the act of telling her story becomes a rebellion against her society. Gilead is a place in which a woman’s voice is silenced. However, Offred speaks out, even if it’s only to an imaginary reader. Gilead denies women their own lives, but Offred’s creation of a story gives her as she puts it, “control over the ending” (39). Most importantly, Offred’s creation of a narrative gives her hope for the future, a sense that “There will be an ending… and real life will come after it” (39). Offred can only hope that someone will hear her story. Offred has found the only avenue of rebellion available in his totalitarian society. She simply denies Gilead control over her inner life.
Throughout this novel, we see that Offred slips into these states of rebellion, as well as states of deliria. Offred uses this as an escape from the harsh realities of what she experiences on a day-to-day level. She is looking to break free mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.