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Insanity

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Insanity
Insanity runs deep within one’s veins; it travels at such a fast speed that one does not realize. It claws and screams from within, begging to be freed, begging to be released so it can corrupt. So it can corrupt and destroy and simply ruin the beauty in the world. You see, if Insanity was left loose into the world, then Insanity would ruin even the most innocent of things. For example, imagine Insanity to be a person. A person with two arms, two legs, hands and feet; a person with blood pulsing through thick veins and capillaries and breathing life into lungs—a person with a beating heart, eyes like the darkest oceans in this world as this person stares and stalks. Do you see that person? Can you picture that person perfectly? Can you picture that person standing tall in the falling, peaceful snow dressed in black, watching carefully? Can you? Can you feel the person’s breath tickling down your throat as they step closer, as fingers wrap around your throat and slowly but surely squeeze. Like I said, slowly at first… so slow, so gentle, you can’t really notice it; you don’t panic, you relax. Your lips part and your head tips back a little, eyes locking with theirs, question filling your irises. But then you feel it, you feel the hatred running through your veins, intoxicating your mind and your heart and ruining every single cell in that what was once innocent body of yours. You feel Insanity taking over and you cannot stop it because the rush, the taste, the vision of it all is simply too delicious and fascinating for you to stop. So you simply let it be and you enjoy as every second passes, as you hear every snowflake hit the ground, as your eyes roll into the back of your head.
Insanity takes over in just a few seconds, but once it is inside, it can never leave. Insanity claws at your flesh, trying to hide itself deep into your bones. Once it’s hidden deep inside and finally gives you a second to breathe, it starts attacking again. And it attacks under fragile ribs, it claws and shreds and rips apart your organs. It settles deeper and deeper inside, ripping apart your heart with razor sharp fingernails. Each breath now feels like needles piercing your skin and stabbing at your vertebrate trachea. Your primary bronchi are now snapped off; Larynx and Pharynx completely ruined as your lungs collapse into the back of your ribcage. You’re breathless. Beyond breathless… you’re dead. But Insanity is still keeping you alive. Insanity is still breathing life into your cold lungs, still pumping your heart in its hand; nails digging into the precious muscle. Insanity is keeping you alive more to torture you, to make you join its dark path, to make your last minutes hell, to make you watch how you, yourself, ruin others. Insanity becomes your master, you its pet. It ties a leash around your neck and pushes you to the ground. It beats you down and makes you beg for mercy. Insanity tortures you until you want to take the blade and pierce it through your chest repeatedly, to end your misery, to end the horror.
But you can’t, because you’re dead. Insanity already killed you. You’re simply a toy now; a shell; a case for it to travel in. You can no longer fight it, you can no longer fight the control that it has over you; you are limp and broken, lifeless, watching with hallow eyes as the world carries on moving. You step and run; you watch and long for a different fate. But Insanity quickly pulls you back down; Insanity quickly takes control over your thoughts, over your memories and actions, it quickly wipes everything out, it makes you immune. Makes you immune to feeling love; makes you immune as your lovers’ fingertips brush over your cheek lovingly, over the cracked and ruined skin that he still calls beautiful—once, it used to make you blush. It used to make your heart beat violently against your chest and your eyes flutter close. It used to make your breathing short and your head tilt into his touch. Now it does nothing. Now you simply stare at him, you stare as he sleeps, as his lungs contract and suck in oxygen, his heart beat steadily, his mind filled with dreams, a faint smile on his lips. You watch as your fingers wrap around his neck comfortably and easily, but ever so gently so he won’t wake up. You watch as your fingers press into his neck, into his throat, right against his trachea, cutting his air supply. You watch as you straddle him to trap him in, the fear in his eyes as they snap open. You watch as he flails, as he looks up in terror at you. And finally, you watch as the life leaves his lights like light bulbs breaking; sparks flying and falling, darkness flooding in quickly. You watch. You enjoy the sight.
Insanity is controlling you to enjoy the sight. Because no matter how hard you fight it, Insanity will always win.

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