Corporate Memo Correction
As discussed in a memo from Kudler Fine Foods, launching a new point of sale system to business in three retail locations. The memo update by the company seems understandable of what changes will make, but has no detailed conclusion when and how the changes will implement and time duration may take. Memo lacks clarity in sentence structure, having the audience to recollect information of what they know from company’s past updates. “While the vendor has training materials and will train our trainer, we need to determine the best way to train the cashiers in the three stores, the management team in each store and the computer support specialists.” This sentence itself is very unclear of what changes the company is looking forward with the new Point of Sale (POS) system. Memo did not include, who is the trainer? Is training class classified to all three locations or at one location? What type of training is suitable to each department? How corporate changes will be effective to all three locations, it looks like training given responsibility to each store. Memo drafted in such a way the training program seems to be inefficient in nature and the same sentence repeated throughout. The memo is expository writing and no technical method informed about using new (POS) system. The writer is not concerned of giving clear information for the upcoming changes, as this can be so difficult for employees to cope with changes and mandatory timing arrangement in their schedule, having personal life aside from work. I’m not impressed with this memo at all, not having any information how the author is trying to approach the audience and as far of training method. General understanding there is a new POS system and the training will be held in three locations. The memo would have come out better if was proofread or grammar checked, ultimately rechecking the purpose of communication is vital in professional writing. The memo should have been overlooked something like this: “ Kudler Fine Foods will be adding a new Point of Sale (POS) system, Vivonet Point of Sale is a full-featured POS solution developed to meet the specific needs of the cash register industry. As a cloud-based system, Vivonet Point of Sale specializes in mobile capability for both staff and customers. All three retail centers will be converted to the new system beginning of August 2014. Training session from our most reliable group of trainers will be available at each center starting July 15, 2014. The training sessions will be held as follows: Del Mar Center, July 15, 2014 from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. La Jolla Center, July 16, 2014 from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. and Encinitas Center, July 17, 2014 from 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Please notify your supervisors to accommodate you accordingly in the training session given above. Managers and computer support specialists the training will be provided July 10, 2014 from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Please contact Human Resource prior attending the session.”