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Learning to Flex Your Communication Style

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Learning to Flex Your Communication Style Communication styles are part of the foundation of building effective relationships. In order to build future positive relationships, we must learn to flex our styles. Robert and Dorothy Bolton (1996), co-authors of Peoples Styles at Work, state, “Strong relationships are built by being consistently honest, fair, and respectful of others” (p. 117). The combination of style flex, honesty, fairness and respect helps to achieve the goal of effective communication, which leads to better personal and professional relationships. As an amiable style communicator, I find it easier to relate to others. My style reflects my personality as being positive, helpful and warm. More than often, I tend to ask the question “why” to be able to understand my audience’s needs. Being emphatic and sensitive to the needs of others leads to pleasant relationships. I like being part of a team, assisting others with assignments and working in small groups. This allows me to build relationships that are more personal not just those of association. When meeting the needs of others, I often have to flex my communication style. As easy as it is to want to remain the soft spoken, well-liked, and respected person, sometimes this can have a negative on affect relationships. I have to become more aggressive and direct at various meetings and high alert situations. Style flexing helps me to achieve effective communication. When working with someone who is analytical, I have to be more task-oriented by focusing toward the task. If we schedule deadlines, it is important for me to meet those time restraints. Analyticals are reserved and less expressive, therefore, I need to be more formal and to the point. Additionally, analyticals work better in systematic environments. I should arrive with a developed plan, rather than composing a plan during the meeting. The need for organization, detailed presentation and information is displayed during the contact with analyticals.

Working with an expressive communicator, leads to behavior that is more assertive. Both amiable and expressive people relate easily others; however, the expressive is faster paced than the amiable person is. To communicate effectively with an expressive, it is important to increase my pace in making decisions, addressing problems, and speaking faster. Expressive people like to know the big picture up front. As an amiable person, I need to provide the main points, be specific and direct when working with an expressive. Amiables and drivers have completely different communication styles. The driver is a quick decision maker, very direct and likes to accept challenges. To communicate effectively with a driver, I must be able to pick up the pace, demonstrate higher energy in work and conversations. The driver focuses more on the task versus the people. I must be able to separate my feelings from the task and focus on getting the job done. Drivers are very time conscious and concentration on the facts is important to them. I need to leave out the small details and be precise in comments, suggestions, and focus on the results of the project. Whenever two amiables work together, it is important to recognize someone needs to take the lead. One person should become more assertive and task-oriented in order to meet deadlines and goals. Additionally, is important to have different views and ideas so the project can have a better outcome. Multiple amiables can work together, however there needs to be a team leader, not just team players to complete the task. The communication styles table (Capital One) listed below was provided during a career training and development program offered by my previous employer. The table helps me to understand all the types of communicators. It gives an overall view of each style and answers various questions on how to flex my style. Effective style flex assist in having positive and productive relationships.

COMMUNICATIONS STYLES TABLES
|FACTORS: |EXPRESSER |DRIVER |AMIABLE |ANALYTICAL |
|How to Recognize: |They get excited. |They like their own way; |They like positive attention, |They seek a lot of data, ask |
| | |decisive and strong viewpoints|to be helpful and to be |many questions, behave |
| | | |regarded warmly |methodically and |
| | | | |systematically |
|Tends to Ask: |Who? (the personal dominant |What? (the results oriented |Why? (the personal non-goal |How? (the technical analytical|
| |question) |question) |question) |question) |
|What They Dislike: |Boring explanations and |Someone wasting their time and|Rejection, treated |Making an error, being |
| |wasting time with too many |trying to decide for them |impersonally, uncaring and |unprepared and spontaneity. |
| |facts | |feeling attitudes | |
|Reacts to Pressure and Tension|“Selling” their ideas or |Taking charge and taking more |Becoming more silent, |Seeking more data and |
|By: |argumentative |control. |withdrawn and introspective |information |
|Best Way to Deal With: |Get excited with them and show|Let them be in charge. |Be supportive by showing you |Provide lots of data and |
| |emotion. | |care. |information. |
|Likes to Be Measured By: |Applause, feedback and |Results and goal oriented |Friends and close |Activity and busyness that |
| |recognition | |relationships |leads to results |
|Must Be Allowed To: |Get ahead quickly and likes |Get into a competitive |Relax, feel, care and know you|Make decisions at their own |
| |challenges |situation and likes to win |care |pace and not feel cornered or |
| | | | |pressured |
|Will Improve With: |Recognition and some structure|A position that requires |A structure of goals and |Interpersonal and |
| |to reach the goal |cooperation with others |methods for achieving each |communication skills |
| | | |goal | |
|Likes to Save: |Effort, they relay on hunches,|Time, they like to be |Relationships, friendships |Face, they hate to make an |
| |intuition and feelings |efficient and get things done |means a lot to them |error, be wrong or be caught |
| | |now | |without enough information |
|For Best Results: |Inspire them to bigger and |Allow them freedom to do |Care and provide detail, |Structure a framework or |
| |better accomplishments |things their own way |specific plans and activities |“track” to follow |
| | | |to be accomplished | |

References Bolton, R., Bolton, D. (1996) Peoples Styles at Work: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better. New York: AMACOM, American Management Association. Capital One (2000) Financial Solutions Training. Richmond: Career Development Training.

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