Letter to the Editor on Children of Divorce
In the article of “Is Divorce Bad for Children?” by Hal Arkowitz and Scott O. Lillenfeldm, talks about how children are affected, when their parents are going to split up. I had felt so many things, when my parents split up, luckily I was old enough to understand, but yet I felt all kinds of pain and emotion’s going through my head. I know how it feels, when I see children go through so much mixed emotions. Growing up with my nephew’s who lived with me for 20 years went through their parents divorcing. From what I know, divorce is a bad separation, because it can cause children to have bad grades, they can be affected emotionally, and mentally. Everyday the divorce rate is growing rapidly. Which means that half of American families are likely to split up, and more than half of the kids from these families are likely to be depressed and poor academic in school.
First, American families are likely to split up, and more than half of the kids from these families are likely to be depressed, and poor academic in school, has become a major issue in today’s society. Today, many people see divorce as a bad or good thing. I personally think it is bad for every child to go through this. Although couples that are divorce, benefits them because they are no longer suffering from each other and their children can stop seeing them argue. And “a separation may be in the best interest for the child in the long run, but tangible change is difficult for them to process.” (Mann, 2011) It is very important to keep the focus on the child. Parents need to communicate and understand each other for the sake of the child. Let your children know that “adults change the way they love each other or can't agree on things and so they have to live apart. But remind them that kids and parents are tied together for life, by birth or adoption. Parents and kids often don't agree on things, but that is part of the circle of life — parents and kids don't stop loving each other or get divorced from each other.” (New, M. Phd. 2011)
Children’s emotions are outrages, it will cause them to do really bad things without them thinking twice about it. For example, overdose on pills or even blame themselves why their parents divorce. From what I know with my own knowledge and I seen my own family members go through this, children of divorce have a lot of problems to adjust to the new situation especially, when their divorced parents keeps on fighting. The bigger the issue and the longer it lasts, the more the children seem to be affected. I highly recommend parents always check up on your children on how they feel, saying "I know you feel sad now" or "I know it feels lonely without dad here" lets kids know that their feelings are valid. It's important to encourage kids to get it all out before you start offering ways to make it better. Let kids know it's also OK to feel happy or relieved or excited about the future.” (New, M. PhD. 2011) Being positive during and after divorce is important to your children. Don’t show them you guys hate each other and always work it out amongst yourselves.
Second, parents that are divorce can lead their children to have bad grades. I honestly think it is true, because I seen my nephew repeat first grade. “In a study of 3,500 children, those whose parents divorced between the first and third grade scored lower in math and had poorer interpersonal skills than those whose parents stayed married.“ (Moisse, 2011) Christian Yasay, the boy I interviewed had gone through his parents being divorced. And he was only 4 years old, when they split. He told me “I was very divested, it caused to score low on tests and to get my mother’s attention was to always pee in my bed intentionally, and I would get in trouble for it, just so she can recognize me.” (Yasay, 2014) This here shows to you, that parents loose track sometimes and forget why they even had a child. Solving these issues is to have time for your children, show that you love them, and didn’t forget about them during a difficult time. School is very important, and getting an education is a must for your children’s future especially having a successful career.
Parents think twice about your children’s lives. Even though they don’t show signs about stress and they act like they don’t care, but in reality they really care deep down. No child should go through the pain of their parents getting a divorce even, if it is the best for them. All it takes is understanding and change, to your child to cope with the issue. And maybe your child and the society can have a different outlook and perspective on life and the world.