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Manners

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Submitted By tangolow97
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Why manners are important in today's society.

I think manners are important in today's society because it's a personality trait that's good to have. It's practically a necessity. Great manners help you through a lot of life's obstacles for different reasons.

Consideration is a reason why manners are important which goes along with your maturity level and how polite you can be on a daily basis. It shows you're a decent person, and that you understand and have respect for the people around you. Manners are very important when it comes to a good social life, ever since elementary school we were taught to use our manners and be polite to the people we tal k to everyday. People judge you all the time, it's just a way of life, and having great manners brings off a positive response and attitude toward other people, and people will unconsciously think of you as a polite and caring person.

Another reason that manners exist for a good reasons is, coexistence. Without polite people around, and well manners, coexistence between humans would be quite difficult I think. Manners are just the guidelines to peaceful coexistence between people, and without it, I think it would be a different kind of society to be living in, kind of like animals. Without manners it would be kind of difficult to have a social life, get a job, have any sort of relationship with people etc. Most of the time we don't think about using our manners everyday, but because it has such a big impact on our life's, and we've been taught since we were young to have manners, we are polite and considerate throughout the day without even realising it.

However manners are most then just "Please" and "Thank you". Body language is also an important factor as well. For example rollings of the eyes, slouching, crossing of the arms, and rude facial expressions are bad manners, and 80% of our communication with people is through our body language. Smiling, eye contact, standing and sitting up straight, appearing confident are all polite body signs of good manners. I'm sure everyone has noticed that it's a lot easier and more fun to be around someone who has a calm and relaxed ora around them, without even saying anything. So body language is a big part of it.

In conclusion, whether you notice it or not, we all use manners everyday some more then others, but we all do. Actions speak as loudly as words, manners aren't just verbal, its everything, and practising great manners will help you in the long run because people will want to be around you more often, and you'll become more successful.

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...第一部分:戒 第六章 为何我们生于此? 这次雨安居我不太有力,身体欠安,所以来山上呼吸点新鲜空气。人们来拜防,我也无法如往常般接待他们,因声音沙哑,气息奄奄。大家现在还能看见这身体坐在这里,也算是种福份,很快就会看不见了。气将尽,声将息,它们会如其他所有因缘和合的事物般,随著其他支撑的元素一起消逝,佛陀称此为「灭尽衰灭」(khaya vayam)。 根本没有任何人只有地、水、火、风 它们如何坏灭?想像一块冰,它原来只是水,将它冷冻后就变成冰,但不久就融化了。取一大块冰放在太阳下,可以看见它如何消解,身体也差不多是如此。它会逐渐瓦解,不久就只剩下一滩水,这就称为「灭尽衰灭」。自古以来,它一直如此,当我们出生时,就带著这坏灭的本质来到世间,无从回避,从一出生,老、病、死就和我们结伴而来。 所以,佛陀要说「灭尽衰灭」。现在,所有坐在讲堂里的人,无论比丘、沙弥或在家男女,无一例外,都是一堆会坏灭元素的组合。现在这堆东西就如冰块一样坚固,冰块从水开始,暂时变成冰,然后融化。你们能看见自己身体的这个败坏过程吗?看看这身体每天都在老化——头髪在变老,指甲在变老,每样东西都在变老。 你们不会一直都像这样,会吗?过去的你们要比现在小很多,现在长大与成熟了。从现在起,你们将随顺自然的方式,慢慢衰老。身体就如冰块一样衰坏,很快就消失了。 一切的身体都是由地、水、火、风四大元素所组成,匪聚后称之为「人」。我们受它迷惑,说它是男人或女人,为它命名而称某某先生、女士等,如此一来,更容易相互辨认。但事实上,其中没有任何「人」,只有地、水、火、风。当它们聚合成形时,我们称这结果为「人」,但切莫高兴得太早,若真的深入观察它,其中根本没有任何「人」。 身体坚硬的部分——肉、皮肤、骨头等,称为「地界」;身体液体的部分则是「水界」;身体温暖的机能是「火界」;在身体里流动的气体则是「风界」。 在巴蓬寺有具看来既非男也非女的身体,它是具骷髅,挂在大会堂中。看著它,你不会有男人或女人的感觉。人们彼此询问那是男人或女人,而所能做的只是茫然地面面相觑。它只足具骷髅,所有的皮、肉都消失了。 人们从不曾真正看过自己 人们对这些事都很无知。有些人来到巴蓬寺,走进大会堂,看见骷髅立刻夺门而出!他们不忍卒睹,害怕骷髅。我想这些人以前一定未看过自己,他们应该反省骷髅的珍贵价值。要到寺院来必须乘车或走路,若没有骨头,怎么办得到?他们能走路吗?但坐车来到巴蓬寺,走进大会堂,看见骷髅却夺门而出!他们从未看过这东西,其实他们生来就有一副,却从未看过它。 现在有机会看见,真的非常幸运。即使老人看见也会受到惊吓,这究竟是怎么一回事?这表示他们对自己完全陌生,不曾真的认识自己,也许回家后会失眠三、四天……不过,他们仍和一副骷髅睡在一起!无伦穿衣、吃饭或做任何事都在一起,但他们却害怕它。 人们如此疏于接触自己,真是可怜!他们总是向外看,看树、看人、看外界事物,说:「这个是大的」、「那个是小的」、「这是短的」、「那是长的」。他们如此急于看其他东西,但从不曾看过自己。老实说,人们真的很可怜,他们没有皈依处。 在受戒仪式中,戒子必须学习五项基本的禅修主题:头发、体毛、指甲、牙齿、皮肤。①有些学生和受过教育者在仪式中听到这部分时会暗自窃笑:「到底阿姜想教我们什么呢?竟然教导一生下就有的头发,他无须教这些,他们早就知道了。为何要教导我们早已知道的事呢?」 愚人就是如此,自以为早就看过头发了。我告诉他们,当我说「看头发」时,意思是如实地看见它,如实地看见体毛、指甲、牙齿与皮肤。 这才是我所谓的「看」——...

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...序:我所理解的生活 《我所理解的生活》作者:韩寒 做自己喜欢的事情,和自己喜欢的一切在一起。 多天前参加比赛,来了一个久未见面的朋友,他现在的工作是给明星做经纪。整个周末 他都在我们车队的帐篷里。周日分别,他对我说,其实你的自我开发做得并不好,形象管理 有问题,如果有职业经纪人帮你打理一下,必然远不是今天的模样。这样,回去给你一个总 结的邮件。 刚才他打来了电话说,你问题太多,邮件说不清楚。比如你在比赛那天一直“双反”,你 知道么?我当时就晕了,我只知道“双规”和“单反”,“双反”还真不知道。弄半天才明白,所 谓“双反”,原来是衣服穿反了,而且内 外和前后都反了。我说,我出门太急,真没注 意,也没人提醒我,难怪一整天都觉得脖子有点勒。 朋友说这个问题不大,你本来就粗心,容易被人取笑。更要命的是,你在车队帐篷的沙 发上乱睡觉。你睡觉的时候总共有十二个人来拍过你的睡姿,五个是挂记者证的,四个是车 队成员,三个是其他车手,其中有两个是故意拍丑态大头照的。我查了一下,其中五个人发 微博了。有一张照片很难看,影响形象,你身边也没人拦着人家拍照,这在我们这行里是绝 对不允许的。我说这我也没办法,熬夜看欧洲杯,的确睡眠不够,你叫我怎么能睡得玉树临 风? 朋友继续教育我,面部表情是其次,关键是你团着身子睡,手还一直塞在自己的裆部, 这个猥琐的动作绝对是破坏形象的。照片如果上传,有些网友看见了容易反感。我说我又没 把手塞在那些网友的裆部,我碰了自己的鸟,关他们鸟事,反感就拉倒呗。朋友说,不是这 样的,你是一个公众人物,现在又是微博时代,谁都能随手拍,越夸张传播越快。你要确保 自己的每一张照片都不能影响你的形象,比如你的手放的位置不对,很容易被一下转发数千 条。我说,这我实在没办法,空调温度太低了,只要一冷,我就自动睡成捂裆派了,从小就 这样。总不能我睡觉的时候,雇几个保镖拦着不让拍照,这也太装逼了。 朋友还指出了一堆问题,比如随意跟人合影,人家递过来什么都签,这会留下隐患。我 说,不,人家如果递过来一百块人民币我就不签。朋友肯定道,不错,你还算有这个意识, 我们行业里有明星在递过来的钞票上签字,结果被网友骂死,破坏人民币肯定不好。我说不 是的,是因为我不想把自己的名字和老毛放在一起。 朋友痛心疾首道,你看,你这种话不能乱说,得罪的人太多。你在车队聊天也是这样, 什么都说,而且常说脏话。你要知道,如果现场有一个不怀好意的,把你说的那些用手机录 下来,放到网上,是很大的负面新闻。你知道当时帐篷里多少人?十八个!你都认识么?我 回答说,有几个不认识。朋友的听筒差点掉地上,有几个不认识你就那么说话?你考虑过后 果么?你一睡醒就和人合影,有一撮头发翘得跟天线宝宝似的,人家还开着闪光灯,照片效 果可想而知。你看你衣服的配色,是很乡土的,最关键是,再不拘小节,裤子拉链还是要拉 上的。总之,你太随便了,也没有一个专业点的经纪人帮你,你如果不严格地对自己的形象 进行系统的管理,就不能保持神秘感和名人气质。你如果对自己有一个好的定位,有合适的 人帮你运作和服务,调整一下你的社交圈子,你能赚得远比现在多得多。你告诉我,你打算 怎么经营自己?你是怎么想的? 我说,整个周末我只在想一个问题,我和对手差了零点三秒,我该怎么追回来?我能惦 记着出门要穿衣服已经不错了,哪还顾得上搭配? 挂了电话,夜深人静,回想朋友所言,有些也对。我在帐篷里口无遮拦,对所有人都没 有设防,要是真有人偷拍偷录或者微博直播,的确会惹麻烦。对陌生人提防与否取决于你的 ...

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