...Importance Of Effective Communication In Marriage A good conversation involves giving the other person your undivided attention. This will help you bond more. While the euphoria of marriage may evaporate after a few years, friendship between you and your mate will last a lifetime. You feel more connected to each other because you share each others’ thoughts and dreams. This will make sure that the bond you share is strong and that you know your spouse as you know yourself. Apart from being a good listener, when there is good communication, you get your thoughts and feelings heard and respected. This can lead to higher comfort levels within the marriage, and room for misunderstandings is reduced. Good communication is very vital to resolve problems and issues. Left unresolved, small problems can snowball into a major issue that could crush your marriage. Many relationship counselors say that most issues that they deal with in shaky marriages could have been resolved with good communication. In some cases, lack of communication can even lead to the point of separation or divorce. You get to discuss and explore solutions to problems when you have good communication. This ensures that you and your mate deal with the problem hand in hand. In this way, you not only resolve the problem, but when you do so together, you will be drawn closer together. You and your spouse get to understand each other more, each time you communicate with each other. This goes a long way to prevent...
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...Communication in Marriages Having good communication in a marriage is the key to a happy marriage. According to Sole (2011), “Many people believe that communication skills are easy and should come naturally.” Knowing your spouse and what he/she needs and wants is important, but trying to assume what your partner wants or needs based off of what you think you know about them is not fair to them. Actually sitting down and talking to them makes them feel like you care and still love them the same. My experience on self disclosure has been difficult in my relationship. I’m the type of person who has up a guard 90% of the time when it comes down to opening up to people. From my past experience, of opening up to people has made it that much harder for me to have self disclosure with my fiancé. I trust my fiancé, but me telling him everything is hard for me. That’s one of the issues we’ve been working on and I’m starting to open up a little but it’s not enough for him. According to Schoenberg (2011), “Affective Affirmation is behavior that makes your partner feel loved, cared for or special plays a role in happy marriages.” Self disclosure is important in a relationship because I believe it makes the other person feels like they can be friends as well as your partner. That makes them feel like they are really doing something right and it makes the other person feel loved. I believe gender difference have something to do with it. I’m a female so a lot of the times...
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...eachMany people in troubled marriages say “We just don’t communicate anymore.” This means they don’t communicate effectively. The truth is that people communicate all the time. Even two people giving each other the silent treatment communicate with each other. A good marriage thrives on the open exchange of emotion, desires and beliefs. In fact, communication is one of the most important aspect of a satisfying marriage. Blaine Fowers, a professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Miami stated that “Communication skills is one of the most common approaches used to improve couples relationships” (327). According to family Life, communication is “essential to the life of a marriage.” Couples who are aware of their communication styles and responses to conflict confront disagreements more productively. Women most often pursue an argument, men usually retreat. Some couples avoid conflict altogether, until the silence drives a wedge into their intimacy. Communication ends marital conflict. Every couple, no matter how well they communicate in a relationship, has times where they disagree. At the same time, this doesn’t have to turn into a fight. Clifford Notarius, a psychologist maintains that the key to a good marriage “isn’t knowing how to avoid an argument but knowing how to get out of one after it has started.” Understanding why communication is important is the first step to improving communication in a relationship. Jonathan Pettigrew, communication researcher reported “couples...
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...Juan C. Cruz English 101 Mrs. Covin 9 November 2010 Adolescent Psychology Developmental psychologists have become increasingly interested in the transformations in family relations that occur in early adolescence. The available evidence suggests that parent and child relations undergo a variety of changes as family members adjust to the biological and psychosocial changes through their early stages in their young lives. Adolescence is the intermediary stage of growth between childhood and adulthood. It represents the period of time during which a person is subjected to an array of natural transformations and runs into a number of emotional tribulations. The ages, which are termed to be part of adolescence, vary by ethnicity and extend from the preteens to nineteen years. “Many of these changes are the normal, scheduled, and inevitable life-transition of adolescence, whereas others are unplanned and experienced by a minority of individuals” (Gunner 123). Adolescence is often divided by psychologist into three distinct phases: early, mid, and late adolescence. In the article Inside Your Teen’s Head, Parade.Com state; “Truth is, the teenage brain is like a Ferrari: it is sleek, shiny, sexy, fast, and it corners really well. But it also has really crappy breaks.” The most difficult phase of life is early adolescence. It is a phase when a child is not yet mature but he is no longer a kid. “Early adolescence is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes...
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...That's nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year. From the beginning of time people all across the world have been determined to find something called love, to begin a family of their own and enter into a sacred and wild adventure called marriage. Living together and depending on one another for mutual love, support and essential necessities is no easy task. For some the responsibilities of marriage become overwhelming or the problems within a marriage become so serious they cannot be solved, and couples all across the nation are choosing to end their marriage in a divorce. It is sad to say but although most people take their whole lives to decide to enter into marriage, most only take a few moments to consider ending one. Divorce rates continue to rise and rise in modern times and it could easily be said that divorce is the instant gratification married couples are turning to in order to cope in today’s society. There are many factors that go into the decision of ending one’s marriage but some factors that are changing the marriage game today are woman’s growing roles in society as self efficient individuals, economic and financial problems and a lack of communication or proper problem solving efforts and the effects of divorce and even more damaging than the divorce itself. With the edition of the nineteenth amendment to constitution giving women the right to vote in America, it began the journey for women across the nation to transform...
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...paper is to inform the reader of the challenges that face marriages in today’s society. It researches the issue of cohabitation before marriage and how people view it whether it is harmful to the marriage or how it can help the marriage be more successful. Another issue that is reviewed is the issue of infidelity. It discusses the problems that arise from infidelity and touches on the reconciliation process that couples have to go through if they have a desire to stay in their marriage. Communication and forgiveness within the marriage is also discussed. Challenging Issues that Face Marriages Today Introduction In the world today, there are a lot of marriages going through some trying times. Parents have put their children first instead of their spouse which have created a barrier between the couple. Some families are dealing with extra effort children that require more time with them and put their spouse on the back burner. Financial burdens have been over whelming for some marriages causing stress, anger and even resentment. The issues that this research paper is going to explore are the challenges of cohabitation, infidelity, communication, and forgiveness. These issues seem to be an important part of marriages that are continually brought forth in many therapy, counseling, and laypersons offices. Premarital Cohabitation Couples will move in together before marriage for many reasons. These reasons include financial situations...
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...would choose such a negative ending to their once happy marriage. In some cases, many couples have to question their own motives for divorce. Although there are many alternate roots to fixing the simplest problems that may occur in a marriage, for some, simple does not always mean easy. It is certain that the cause of divorce varies from couple to couple, yet lack of communication, money and children, is among the most common causes of divorce. Lack of communication in a marital relationship, is one of the most common causes of divorce, because when two people lack communication, they are unable to solve problems that may occur in the marriage. Many married couples think that the minor problems that occur in their marriage, are insignificant, and are not worth talking about; however, they fail to realize that even the smallest things can cause conflict between the two when they are not able to solve them through communication. Many couples lack communication when it comes to making decisions about shared finances. This can cause financial issues to arise, and arguments to escalade in the marriage. Many couples also lack communication when it comes to making decisions for their children. When one spouse does not agree with a decision made by the other spouse, then an argument can occur, and result by one or both parties sharing a feeling of resentment against the other. Lack of communication in all areas of the marriage, can cause strain on the relationship. It is common...
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...Lack of communication in a marital relationship, is one of the most common causes of divorce, because when two people lack communication, they are unable to solve problems that may occur in the marriage. Many married couples think that the minor problems that occur in their marriage, are insignificant, and are not worth talking about; however, they fail to realize that even the smallest things can cause conflict between the two when they are not able to solve them through communication. The first significant cause of recent rise in the rates of divorce is that women completely change their roles; women become economic independent on their own, and they may make decisions when they feel desperation in the marriage. Divorce is the effect of a marriage that is faced with difficulties that seem overwhelming, an inability to get along, one or both partner's growing apart, substance abuse, a culture that condones divorce, legal ease of getting a divorce, the inexpensiveness of getting a divorce and other factors. As we known, divorce is the termination of a marital union, the canceling of duties and the responsibilities of marriage between married couples. I know several couples that fight a great deal about money and have also gotten a divorce because of financial situations. One of the major reasons that cause divorce is financial issues also known as money. This can cause marital problems to be over looked, triggering a range of feelings to explode...
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...Divorce Marriage symbolizes a unity between two people. Some marriages last and some result in divorce. For instance, a newlywed couple could start off exceedingly romantic. As the marriage progresses, more problems and issues arise that are left unsolved. Feelings could build up over time and every little action he or she does could increasingly annoy the other spouse. Conflicts are not resolved properly and as time passes, the couple may start to have more and more disagreements about unimportant subjects. There are three main causes of divorce: lack of communication, early marriages with unexpected pregnancies and drastic career changes, which are listed below. First of all, lack of communication is the main cause of divorce. Communication is the revealing of thoughts or ideas and is an important aspect of all relationships. If effective communication is not present in a marriage, then the relationship will suffer and slowly weaken. To have an effective communication with one's spouse, one should try to be as open as possible by revealing all emotions and feelings. A result of a failed marriage could be divorce. Divorce is common because there is a lack of effective communication. On the other hand, one might believe that a lack of communication is not the reason why divorce is common. The lack of communication in a relationship cannot be the single reason why marriages fail. All couples are not the same. It could be possible that they have good communication, but they...
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...A Study of What Makes Marriages Succeed or Fail Priscilla Mullennix Liberty University Abstract Marriage is a very special gift for the human race, God knew that we are a people of loneliness and He did not want us to go through this life alone. Unfortunately society does not see it this way. Many marriages fail at not putting God first. They fail at not looking at their marriages as being a covenant. And they fail at not communicating their feelings to each other. With this they end in separation and divorce. From the start we should put God first in marriages, realizing that marriage is a covenant with God and your spouse. Having your marriage become a success or a failure is all up to the couple, it is their choice on what path they will choose for their marriage. They need to consider what path they take and the outcome of that path at the end. A Study of What Makes Marriages Succeed or Fail Marriages today have become under the direct line of fire from our adversary, the devil. Our day and time seems to have diminished the value that is placed upon marriage and the great treasure and gift that this is from God. As with many things in our day and age, many ask the question of how they can have success to prevent a failure. Nobody likes to fail in the matters of life. It doesn’t matter what it is, owning a business, going back to school as an adult, and even the marriages and relationships we find ourselves in. How does a marriage succeed? And what is the...
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...Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling The number of people seeking help for troubled marriages far outnumbers those seeking help for depression, family tensions, alcohol or drug abuse, anxiety, spiritual concerns, past traumas, or crises. When people seek counseling from their pastor, most frequently it is concerning marital problems. The number of people seeking help for troubled marriages far outnumbers those seeking help for depression, family tensions, alcohol or drug abuse, anxiety, spiritual concerns, past traumas, or crises. Most Christians value marriage. God approves of the permanence of marriage (Malachi 2:14), and Jesus and Paul advocate marriage (Matthew 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:2–12; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11). God hates the pain and brokenness that oozes from divorce. Popular culture saturates our minds with the idea that obliterating the bonds of marriage can relieve the pain of marital conflict. In contrast, pastors advocate the virtues of marriage from the pulpit. The Christian who lives with daily marital conflict, hurt, and anger is pinched in a vice. Seeking help from the pastor, troubled spouses are sometimes disappointed when this counseling doesn’t work. Too often, Christians—who are separated, divorced, or living a life of conflict and anguish—twist free by leaving the church. This is not a satisfying solution to marriage partners or to pastors. Six Bridge Planks to Reconciliation Between Troubled Marriage Partners Plank...
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...Communication, respect and forgiveness three key factors for a unbreakable bond. If you have these three factors down, your marriage should be very successful. Each of these factors play a big role in the marriage, without one of these, your marriage will fail. If you communicate but don’t respect or forgive, then there’s just a friendship, not a commitment. . If you respect but don’t communicate or forgive then your partner might feel dominate then you and expect you to respect him/her. Over time, you will feel like you’re not getting treated as an equal in the marriage. Lastly, if you forgive but don’t communicate or respect, there’s no point having a relationship because your partner knows you’ll forgive no matter what they do and no boundaries will be set because of the lack of communication. Communication is key for a successful marriage because if you don’t talk to each other and say what is on your mind then how will your partner know what to fix about them to make the marriage stronger. You can trust your partner and forgive them, but if you don’t communicate or talk about the issues that are going on, your marriage will continue with the same issues. Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind; unexpressed frustrations in a marriage can pile up and weigh you down like an overloaded gunnysack. These accumulated frustrations can quickly turn into resentments. “Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,” said Sally, married 50 years...
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... The Role of Communication in Marriages Married couples in matrimony for several decades may lack communication. A couple married for 50 years having a sit down dinner will speak for only a few minutes out of an hour long sitting, researchers have show communication of happy marriages which consists of sharing intimate thoughts, uncertainties, distrust. When we observe a couple in a restaurant or another public setting. In 1987, a review in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy established elevated rates of self-disclosure were coupled with advanced rates of couple satisfaction. Appearance of love and sustainability was also associated to contented marriages. "Many couples think they're communicating with each other" when they sort out who will pick up the kids, pay the bills or call the grandparents, says Orbuch. But that's not the kind of communication she's talking about."In the (research) literature, as well as for my couples, communication means you're sharing and really getting to know one another," Orbuch says. (NARA SCHOENBER. Houston Chronicle. Houston, Tex.: Feb 5, 2011. pg. 7.) In research literature couple should communicatively share and get to know each other. When a couple set aside just ten minutes a day, which is recognized as the ten minute rule per Orbuch, is to cultivate effective words in quality communication using communication to adequately resolve their issues and problems...
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...Good Marriage Marriage is known as the oldest institution that binds two people together to an everlasting relationship. Marriage is sacred and one of the greatest commandments is to love one another. Making a good marriage takes a lot of work. Right after a couple gets married, the couple will often feel like their marriage will never have any problems. They think that they will love each other for the rest of their lives, that they will have a good marriage forever. However, as many married couples discover, having a good marriage does take a lot of work. In addition to have a good marriage couples must also have important characteristics. These characteristics such as love, communication and spending time together are like the building blocks of a good marriage. Marriage usually starts with one thing, and that thing is love. It’s because how can you marry someone if you don’t feel loved or if you don’t love that someone. Love brings couples together There are a variety of other general characteristics of a good marriage that couples shows towards each other, like respect for each other’s boundaries and privacy. You can see that it’s just the simple things that really make a marriage work. People have come to find out that communication is a key factor in maintaining good and lasting relationships, Communication should always remain open if we want our marriage to succeed. Lack of communication is one of the main reasons why many marriages end up...
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...willing to weigh their suggestions carefully. By considering counseling and opening up their line of communication which will indeed help build a strong marriage and more likely succeed. “Communication is the key to the development of any growing relationship. The Bible places high value on good communication. God pursues those whom he loves and seeks to communicate with them” (Hawkins, 1991, p. 108-11). Premarital counseling will be a great way for me to rid myself of all of my preconceived notions about marriage, set goals with my future spouse, and be able to understand Gods plan for marriages and how the world feels about marriage. When it comes to financial planning/management if the couple is having problems I would indeed recommend that they see a financial counselor or someone that has better training in the topic. Communication is so important when it comes to marriage. Throughout this course the topic of communication always arises. If you are in a marriage with no communication it won’t work. As a counselor I will stress the importance of having an open line of communication. Hawkins reminds us throughout the text that “Communication is the key to the development of any growing relationship. Poor communication between couples is the number one reason for marital failure” (Hawkins, 1991, p.108). Nothing effects the marriage more than not having an open line of communication. References Hawkins, R. E. (1991). Strengthening marital intimacy. Grand Rapids,...
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