Free Essay

Movie Review - Hitman - Agent 47

In:

Submitted By hamishjoy
Words 1074
Pages 5
First, I have to apologize for the delay in getting this review out; I would have posted this last week, but I was busy looking for a killer-for-hire to take out the movie’s writers.

Searching the deep web for sharpshooters is a pain. Especially when all I had to offer was $3.75 and a pack of gum.

But let’s get down to it. For those of you who don’t know, the movie is based out of a Danish game from the early 2000s, called ‘Hitman‘. The game’s storyline revolves around Agent 47, a cloned super-assassin for hire who has superhuman abilities and a flawless record of kills. It was a pretty nifty game, and adapting it into the big screen was inevitable.

All things said, the movie was a decent attempt at bringing the Hitman mythos to life – It had to expand the plot from the video game source, include some drama, some tension, and generally apply liberal assault on logic and sensibilities to shoehorn action sequences wherever possible.

When it comes to leave-your-brain-behind type of movies, I’m quite happy for them to shoehorn in action sequences. (Sarah Palin has been preparing for such movies all her life.)

Amidst the shoehorned action scenes, we have a few good moments of fun, and a few twists, which, while nonsensical, fit in well with the movie’s overall tone. Overall, the movie could have been done better, but I still rate rate it good enough for a lazy afternoon watch.

But that’s enough talk about the 2007 movie, ‘Hitman’, the one starring Timothy Olyphant. It was never a great movie, but compared to the new 2015 reboot, it was downright genius. Timothy Olyphant is still writing thank-you notes to the new movie’s crew.

The 2015 reboot is titled “Hitman: Agent 47“. It focuses once again, on the insanely skilled nameless super-duper-assassin who goes by the number ’47’. He’s the 47th version created by the ‘Agent program’, which is the super-assassin cloning factory, so to speak, and he works for the International Contract Agency (ICA), because all the super-duper-ness doesn’t make the agents good at naming things.

We’re introduced to the female protagonist, Katie, who is searching for a mysterious chap from the past, while apparently living in acute paranoia against people who are hunting for her. Fifteen minutes in, the movie became self-aware. It realized how crappy a movie it was and decided to imitate a better one. So, for a brief while, the movie turned into The Terminator; Emotionless killing machine 47 is apparently out to kill the apparently hapless girl, Katie, but the apparent good guy, John Smith, apparently tries to save her from the T800… I mean 47.

Being the keen eyed reader you are, I’m sure you noticed all the ‘apparently’s I’ve thrown up there in the last paragraph, right? Come on. I know you did. Give yourself a cookie.

Warning: The following contains plot spoilers for the insanely dumb. So read at your own peril. So yes, it turns out none of that is true. 47 is NOT out to kill the girl. The chap the girl is looking for is her father, who was the scientist who created the Agent program. The girl is NOT helpless; unknown to herself, she’s sort of a cloned Agent too, who has heightened senses and survival skills that’s even more insane than 47’s, and her powers work in reflex mode; John Smith is NOT the good guy; he’s an assassin whose body is genetically modified to withstand bullets, car crashes and pretty much anything the plot can throw at him, and he’s working for an evil syndicate called… Syndicate.

Yes. Syndicate.

Past this point, the movie quits trying to imitate the Terminator movies, and quickly transforms to 1995’s Assassins. John Smith now plays Antonio Banderas’ character who really, really, really wants to show he’s a better assassin than Sylvester Stallone 47.

In short, the plot was a haphazard mess. But that’s par for the course. At least the action sequences were good enough to save the day, you may be thinking. That unbridled optimism is what I love about you, you figment of my imagination, you.

The action sequences were terrific, by video game standards, but for an actual movie made in 2015, it fell short by a wide margin. Overall, the direction felt sloppy. The feeling I got was that the director had brilliant, mindblowing stunts in mind as he rolled the camera, but just didn’t have the chops/ the budget to pull it off. I imagine every shot was wrapped up with the phrase – “Emm… close enough.”

I don’t want to berate the actor who’s playing Agent 47 in this movie. He’s a Friend, you see. In any case, there’s no acting to berate. His role involved shooting, fighting, driving, and performing impossible CGI stunts while exerting as few emotions as possible, and this, he did quite well. Speaking of repressed emotions, John Smith is played by Zachary Quinto. In the rebooted Star Trek movies, he was amazing as the emotionless, cold and calculating fan favourite, Spock. In this movie, he masterfully destroys any doubt of his acting prowess; With casual, almost flippant ease, he confirms how he’s not ready yet to earn his actor badge.

The casting was quite interesting, I think. Personally, I feel it was done in tandem with plot development. I imagine the writers went “Let Hannah Ware be … a woman on the run… everybody’s like – hey, where is she? Where’s Ware?… Where? Yes! And then… she finds out that Rupert Friend is like, not her enemy at all; he’s like a ‘friend’! That’s gold, man!! And Zach Quinto? He’s… well… Zach Quinto’s ‘so keen to’ become the best assassin ever. High Five!” I think they didn’t bring Timothy Olyphant back because they couldn’t fit an elephant into the plot. It was disappointing, for sure. But I confess I enjoyed a few bits and pieces.

If you like cars, the movie’s infested with Audis. Audis all around. Audi here, Audi there, Audi everywhere. I don’t have a problem with product placement. In case Audi’s reading this blog, I’d happily give a shout out if you send one of the latest models my way – Audi, Audi, Audi, Audi, Audi, Audi, Audi. I’ll take my car in red, please.

Previously self published on my website, hamishjoy.com

Similar Documents

Premium Essay

Myths

...Contents Preface Acknowledgments Introduction 1 BRAIN POWER Myth #1 Most People Use Only 10% of Their Brain Power Myth #2 Some People Are Left-Brained, Others Are Right-Brained Myth #3 Extrasensory Perception (ESP) Is a Well-Established Scientific Phenomenon Myth #4 Visual Perceptions Are Accompanied by Tiny Emissions from the Eyes Myth #5 Subliminal Messages Can Persuade People to Purchase Products 2 FROM WOMB TO TOMB Myth #6 Playing Mozart’s Music to Infants Boosts Their Intelligence Myth #7 Adolescence Is Inevitably a Time of Psychological Turmoil Myth #8 Most People Experience a Midlife Crisis in | 8 Their 40s or Early 50s Myth #9 Old Age Is Typically Associated with Increased Dissatisfaction and Senility Myth #10 When Dying, People Pass through a Universal Series of Psychological Stages 3 A REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS PAST Myth #11 Human Memory Works like a Tape Recorder or Video Camera, and Accurate Events We’ve Experienced Myth #12 Hypnosis Is Useful for Retrieving Memories of Forgotten Events Myth #13 Individuals Commonly Repress the Memories of Traumatic Experiences Myth #14 Most People with Amnesia Forget All Details of Their Earlier Lives 4 TEACHING OLD DOGS NEW TRICKS Myth #15 Intelligence (IQ) Tests Are Biased against Certain Groups of People My th #16 If You’re Unsure of Your Answer When Taking a Test, It’s Best to Stick with Your Initial Hunch Myth #17 The Defining Feature of Dyslexia Is Reversing Letters Myth #18 Students Learn Best When Teaching Styles Are Matched to...

Words: 130018 - Pages: 521

Free Essay

Games People Play

...Eric Berne Games People Play The psychology of human relationships Table of contents PREFACE.........................................................................................................................................................................3 INTRODUCTION............................................................................................................................................................4 1 SOCIAL INTERCOURSE..........................................................................................................................................4 2 THE STRUCTURING OF TIME ...............................................................................................................................5 PART I ANALYSIS OF GAMES ...................................................................................................................................8 CHAPTER ONE STRUCTURAL ANALYSIS .....................................................................................................................8 CHAPTER TWO TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS ............................................................................................................10 CHAPTER THREE PROCEDURES AND RITUALS .........................................................................................................14 CHAPTER FOUR PASTIMES .............................................................................................................................

Words: 50500 - Pages: 202

Premium Essay

Organizational Behavior

...ORGANIZATIONAL BEHAVIOR CONCEPTS CONTROVERSIES APPLICATIONS Seventh Edition Stephen P. Robbins 1996 Contents Part One • Introduction Chapter 1 What Is Organizational Behavior? 2 Chapter 2 Responding to Global and Cultural Diversity 42 Part Two • The Individual Chapter 3 Foundations of Individual Behavior 80 Chapter 4 Perception and Individual Decision Making 130 Chapter 5 Values, Attitudes, and Job Satisfaction 172 Chapter 6 Basic Motivation Concepts 210 Chapter 7 Motivation: From Concepts to Applications 250 Part Three • The Group Chapter 8 Foundations of Group Behavior 292 Chapter 9 Understanding Work Teams 344 Chapter 10 Communication 374 Chapter 11 Leadership 410 Chapter 12 Power and Politics 460 Chapter 13 Conflict, Negotiation, and Intergroup Behavior 502 Part Four - The Organization System Chapter 14 Foundations of Organization Structure 548 Chapter 15 Technology, Work Design, and Stress 588 Chapter 16 Human Resource Policies and Practices 634 Chapter 17 Organizational Culture 678 Part Five - Organizational Dynamics Chapter 18 Organizational Change and Development 714 CHAPTER I • WHAT IS ORGANIZATIONAL BEHAVIOR? What Managers Do Let’s begin by briefly defining the terms manager and the place where managers work—the organization. Then let’s look at the manager’s job; specifically, what do managers do? Managers get things done through other people. They make decisions, allocate resources, and direct the activities of others to attain goals. Managers do...

Words: 146017 - Pages: 585

Free Essay

Sartre's What Is Literature?

... Copyright, 1949, by Philosophical Library, Inc. 15 EAST 40th Street, New York, N.Y. Printed in the United States of America TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword I II What Why is Writing? Write? Whom Does One Write? 7 38 III For IV Situation of the Writer in 1947 161 Index 299 67 FOREWORD want to engage yourself," writes a young imbecile, "what are you waiting for? Join the Communist Party." A great writer who engaged himself often and disengaged himself still more often, but who has forgotten, said to me, "The worst artists are the most engaged. Look "If you at the Soviet painters" "You want tres is to murder An old critic gently complained, literature. spread out insolently all Contempt for belles-let- through your review." A petty mind calls me pigheaded, which for him is evidently the highest insult. An author who barely crawled from name sometimes awakens men accuses me of not being one war to the other and whose languishing memories in old concerned with immortality; he knows, thank God, any number of people whose chief hope it is. In the eyes of an American hack-journalist the trouble with me is that I have not read Bergson or Freud; as for Flaubert, who did not engage himself, it seems that he haunts me like remorse. Smart-alecks wink at me, poetry? And And music? You want to engage them, too?" some martial spirits demand, "What's it all about? painting? And "And literature? Well, Engaged unless it's What it's the old socialist...

Words: 94432 - Pages: 378