Bethany Gavins
A&P
Mr. Schroeder
My Sister’s Keeper
When an individual is affected by an illness and death, the people that know the individual, usually the family, are affected, too. In My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult, Kate Fitzgerald is diagnosed with Leukemia, which affects every member of her family. The Kubler-Ross’ cycle of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance explains how each family member deals with Kate’s death and grief. Each member has a different way of dealing with Kate’s death.
A chronic illness doesn’t affect just the person who has it, but also the people around the person. The Fitzgerald’s are all devastated and are full of grief throughout Kate’s struggle and death from Leukemia. The main character, Anna Fitzgerald, shows her acceptance of the Kubler-Ross cycle. Anna hates to admit that her sister will die regardless of what the family tries to do. Therefore, she tries to save herself and Kate from any more suffering by gaining legal rights to do what she wants to do with her body despite what her parents tell her. Anna knows that her parents, especially her mother, Sara, will go to any extremes to make Kate win the battle against cancer or at least live longer. Anna feels like winning the case will make her parents realize that Anna, too, has a right to live a normal life with a normal childhood. She’s accepted that Kate will soon die and doesn’t want to see Kate suffer any longer. Anna also feels that she’s doing Kate a favor by no longer suffering in a life where Kate has zero to little chance of surviving. Anna doesn’t tell her parents, but Kate wants to die and save the family from any more grief. Health care professionals can possibly help Anna by telling her parents to give her more attention and not take her for granted. Anna’s reaction is the most appropriate because she makes family members realize to not take everything for granted and to show their feelings. Anna finally realizes what she can do about what’s bothering her and decides to take action against her parents.
Kate also has another sibling named “Jesse.” In the Kubler-Ross cycle of grief and death, Jesse is going through the “anger” stage. In the novel, Jesse’s usually forgotten or overlooked by his parents. Feeling ignored and nonessential to anyone, Jesse does acts that are troublesome which can make his parents worry about them in some way. Some of the acts include secretly burning down areas within the neighborhood and breaking the law by doing things like using drugs. His parents didn’t know at the time that Jesse burned these places down, but Jesse liked that he was getting attention whether his parents knew or not. Jesse feels worthless as he says:
“But inside, I’m burning just as hot as I was when that fire caught at the warehouse. What made me believe I might be worth something, even now? What made me think I could save my sister, when I can’t even save myself?”
This shows that Jesse can’t do anything for anyone else including Kate as he’s fighting a conflict within himself. Health care professionals can help Jesse by giving him mental therapy and possibly sending him to rehab to help him be independent of drugs. Jesse shows he’s angry during Kate’s suffering and death because he doesn’t know how he can stop himself from making destructive decisions throughout the neighborhood and within himself.
One of the characters showing most of her concern for Kate is her mother, Sara. Sara is going through denial in the Kubler-Ross cycle. Sara is willing to do anything and everything to save Kate from dying even if she has to ignore and use her other two children Anna and Jesse. She is in denial as she forgets about everything in her life like her job, hobbies, and the rest of her family, to see Kate survive or at least live longer. Sara feels that if Kate is her top priority and main focus then Kate will have all of the support she needs to go on with life even if it includes relying on Anna to provide Kate with necessary body parts. While pregnant with Anna, Sara says that:
“...I have not really considered the specifics of this child. I have thought of this daughter only in terms of what she will be able to do for the daughter I already have...The again, my dreams for her are no less exalted; I plan for her to save her sister’s life.” (100)
Health care professionals dealing with mental health and therapy can help Sara accept the fact that death is a natural way of life and that cancer can cut people’s lives short as they have little chance of surviving depending on what stage of cancer the treatment has started. Out of all the family members in the book, I think that Sara’s reaction was the least appropriate. It is understandable for her to try to save Kate’s life, but it is inappropriate when all of the other family members have to suffer even more than they already are. Sara’s act of denial causes the other family members to enter the stages in the Kubler-Ross cycle of acceptance, anger, and depression.
While all of the madness in the Fitzgerald home is happening, the father, Brian, seems to be calm and collected. However, what the rest of the family doesn’t see is that Brian is going through the Kubler-Ross’ stage of depression in the cycle. He sees everyone dealing with the grief in his or her own harsh ways. Brian tries to help, but he feels that he really has no impact on how anyone can feel. He is barely involved in any of the family activities unless it involves Kate. Knowing that Sara only will focus only on Kate, Brian feels lonelier and therefore keeps his feelings to himself. He feels that sharing his feelings would only make matters worse as the home would more miserable or his feelings will be ignored just as they have been ever since Kate has gotten sick. Out of all of the characters, this is the one that many people can relate to. Not many people know how to deal with illnesses like cancer, but when they first experience they don’t know what to do. It is often thought that keeping feelings within your mind would stop the situation from getting worse and it would be a selfish thing to do when everyone is dealing with their own internal conflicts while the tragedy is happening. Like Sara, I think that Brian would need a health care professional who can help him with his inner mental conflicts. Brian loses interest in everything, as the situation with the family gets worse.
The Fitzgerald family is going through a difficult time dealing with Kate’s leukemia, watching her suffer, and then later on dealing with her death. The family member’s are each in a stage of the Kubler-Ross’ Five Stages of Grieving/Dying. Anna is experiencing acceptance, Jesse’s dealing with anger, Sara is in denial, and Brian is coping with depression. Each has a way to be helped by a health care professional whether it is for physical or mental reasons. The family members deal with it in appropriate ways, like Anna, and inappropriate ways, like Sara. Chronic illnesses are diagnosed to a person everyday, but they are not the only ones who suffer. The people that are closest emotionally to the person with the chronic illness often suffer from the illness too but just suffer mentally, emotionally and spiritually.