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Out with the Old in with the New

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Submitted By AuttieKat
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Out with the old, in with the new

Admit it, we’ve all had that first love; the guy who could do no wrong. He’d lie to us and cheat on us but we still thought he was an angel sent from above. We would take his crap just because we thought that’s what love was and poor little us, we didn’t know any better. Then one terrible day, he throws out the words “It’s not you, it’s me”. After that you told yourself you’d never love another man again; how could you? He had taken your heart and ripped it in two! Being the drama queen you are you probably lay in bed for a couple days eating Blue Bunny pumpkin spice pecan ice cream with that special little spoon you kept hidden in the corner of the drawer, sobbing your little broken heart out. You read in some Cosmo magazine that there are seven stages of a breakup. First comes shock; like did he really just do that? Then comes Denial; No way did he just do that. Nope I don’t think so. After that comes Isolation; which is where we just were with you in your bed. But just wait for it girl, because next is anger, and that’s the fun stage. That’s where you take all of his shit he gave you; hoodies, sweats, shirts, that little diamond necklace with the heart in the middle…trash it all. For the fifth stage we regress into the “What will it take to get him back stage”. This is your most creative point in time, so if you have a paper due for English class get to writing because right now you’re on fire. Sixth, we head into the deep hole called depression; yeah, we went there. This is the time when it’s acceptable to cry your eyes out and whole heartedly sing N-Sync lyrics in your room. And finally we come to the seventh and final step of a breakup…Accepting it. By the time you’ve gone through all of the other six stages you’ll probably be exhausted and just say “ugh he wasn’t worth it anyways” which is a good attitude to have! Because seldom us girls remember that there are approximately 3.5 billion other guys in the world and that one who just dumped us is NOT the last one who will ever try to make an advance on us. So after the break up you are considered to now be exes. If you’re new to this whole thing and you don’t know what an ex is just let me shortly describe it to you now. An ex is a loser who you dated in the past in which you can now look back and only regret because you were way better than them anyways. Caught up? Good. I’m going to tell you about one of my ex’s…let’s call him Rick.
Rick was known as a genuinely nice guy around school, he used to be a football player so he was well known by everyone. We met in French class; he was interested in me but lord knows I didn’t like him. He wasn’t my type. So years go by, he graduates, I become a senior and we’re reunited at Kroger. We were both new employees hired to work at the new Kroger Marketplace. I looked at him and thought “Dang he’s actually gotten really cute!” so determined I got his number and started texting him.
A couple weeks went by and we decided to go on a date. That one date was the only thing Rick ever paid for in our 4 month relationship. Every time we went to the movies; I paid. Every time we went out to eat; I paid. Everywhere we went; I drove. Basically he was mooching off of me. For his birthday I bought him $90 worth of clothes…and what did I get for my birthday? To pick him up 30 minutes away from my house at 7am using my car and my gas.
And not once did Rick ever genuinely just tell me I was pretty. He told me that was too cliché and that he wasn’t that kind of guy. He said I should know I’m pretty and if I don’t that’s not his problem. He would constantly tell me I needed to go to the gym. That was one subject we really never got off of. It was always “Go to the gym with me” or “You really need to start going to the gym”. I finally got the attitude of “If you don’t like me the way I am then screw you”.
Which brings us to our next point; sex. That’s all Rick wanted to do. He never wanted to talk to hear about my day. Every time we were alone he would try to get me to have sex with him. And when I refused he would get mad and not talk to me; childish really. That should’ve been a big clue that he was a douchebag, but I’m pretty naïve when it comes to that.
But the big thing that was bad about Rick is that he made me feel like crap 100 percent of the time. He was always putting me down. Telling me I needed to get rid of my depression or he’d leave me. He constantly told me that I dressed too fancy for everything. He bashed what made me happy, and eventually I just gave up on the whole happy concept with the relationship.
Unlike Rick my current boyfriend, Zach, is a total 360. He holds doors open for me, which Rick never did. Pays for all our dates, even if we just go to basketball games he pays for my food and ticket. Takes turns with me driving. He doesn’t want sex from me; he wants to get to know me. He constantly asks for me to tell him more about myself. He will just stare at me and tell me I am the most gorgeous girl he’s ever seen and that he is so lucky to have me. He doesn’t want to change me. Zach likes me just the way I am.
Zach makes me feel like I’ve honestly never felt with any guy before. He makes me feel safe and happy. Every time I see him I get butterflies in the bottom of my stomach and I just want to be close to him all the time. He also makes me feel respected, and oddly enough, like a princess; which I feel every girl should feel like when it comes to her boyfriend. Whether it’s cliché or not; it’s respectful.
My point with this essay was to tell you not to settle. You will find a boy who is willing to hold open doors for you and walk you to your door after a date. Just take your ex and compare him to the next and you’ll see that every guy you have is closer to that perfect-for-you one. Like Rick made me feel awful and ashamed of whom I was, but Zach? He makes me feel proud to be me. And that’s really what you need in your life; someone who compliments you in a way that makes you even more extraordinary than you already are.

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