A Time to Prepare
Elder Ian S. Ardern
This is such a great message with wonderful counsel and ideas on how to better devote our time to the things that matter most.
Our first counsel is given to us in the eighth chapter of Preach My Gospel and it addresses the goals in our life. Goals reflect the desires of our hearts and our vision of what we can accomplish. Through goals and plans, our hopes are transformed into action. Goal setting and planning are acts of faith.
Prayerfully set goals that are in harmony with the Savior’s commandments. You may also set goals for your personal development. Do everything within your power to achieve your goals while respecting the agency of others. The ultimate measure of success is not in achieving goals alone but in the service you render and the progress of others. Goals are a means of helping you bring about much good among Heavenly Father’s children. They are not to be used to receive recognition.
Carefully considered goals will give you clear direction and will help you fill your days with activities that help people. Challenging goals will help you work effectively and lead you to stretch and grow. What kind of goals are we setting?
We are given a few guidelines that would be helpful to follow as you set your goals:
1. Follow the Spirit
2. Be specific and realistic, but set goals that will make you stretch. You want your goals to be challenging enough to make you grow but are they unreachable?
3. Set weekly and daily goals. Not all goals have to be long term!
Elder M. Russell Ballard shares with us a quote about goal setting. He says,
“I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life.”
Mastering the techniques needed to reach our goals includes becoming the master manager of our time.
Let’s talk about service.
Are we too busy in life? Do we neglect to help others because we just don’t have enough hours in the day? I am ashamed to admit that I’ve been guilty of this before.
While studying for this lesson, I came across this quote and I can’t for the life of me figure out where I got it, so I don’t know who gets the credit.
“It is an undisputable law that the more you give away, the more you receive. You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give.”
We need to find joy in service: to find real happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.
Who better an example of this than our Prophet? With all that he does as a prophet of God, he ensures that there is still sufficient time to visit the sick, to lift the poor in spirit, and to be a servant of all.
Can we think of any other examples?
• What about the R.S. Presidency and the countless hours they render in our behalf.
• Meals brought in to others (Jessica Flowers, new mothers).
• Smiles
• Befriend a new sister in the ward-being fairly new to the ward I can tell you firsthand how much of a service this is and how grateful I am that I was scooped up and befriended so fast.
Service is a virtue that places a mark of nobility upon its disciples. It is the diving line which separates two groups-those who help and those who hinder, those who lift and those who lean, those who contribute and those who only consume. How much better it is to give than to receive. Service in any form is beautiful. To give encouragement, to impart sympathy, to show interest, to build self-confidence and offer hope in the hearts of others, in short to love them and to show it is to render the most precious service.
Giving of our time in the service of others is pleasing to God and will draw us nearer to Him. “We love best those whom we most eagerly serve.” Perhaps this is one reason why Christ’s love for us is so great.
Next we are going to talk about the value of time and how we use and manage it.
Time is not for sale; time is a commodity that cannot be bought at any store for any price. Yet when time is wisely used, its value is immeasurable.
We sometimes operate under some myths concerning time. We often think that we can save time or that we can make up time. We also hear that, “Linda has more time than I do,” or, “Jim seems to stretch his time a little further.” It is a valuable exercise to step back and review the fact that on any given day, each person is allocated, the same number of minutes and hours to use as the next person. We cannot save time, in reality. There are no time banks. We cannot make up time; it goes by at a fixed rate always. Linda sure doesn’t have more time than we have, and Jim is not able to stretch it-it doesn’t have a rubberlike quality to it.
Time flies by (I think the other sisters that teach on Sundays can agree with me that your week to teach comes around pretty fast-I was sure I was just up here last week! How about VT?) It goes by quickly and we cannot get it back so what are we doing with it? How are we using it? Let’s hear from maybe the sisters in different phases of their life. I know a lot of my time right now is consumed with caring for young children. How can we better utilize it?
There are some basic principles and fundamental concepts of time utilization that are very helpful in learning to manage our time better. The first is addressing the subject of self-management. It’s the concept that we don’t really manage time but rather we manage ourselves in the amount of time we have. We must learn to operate most effectively in the uniform allotment of time each of us has received.
The second principle that relates to effective time management is the constant focus on results. The leader who focuses on the required results rather than on activities will find the greater results actually occurring. We often race at high speeds all day only to discover that we have been doing things rather than getting things done. We have been involved in many activities but have not accomplished the results.
That brings us to our next principle, to be effective rather than only efficient. The efficient person may be operating with speed and economy of effort but may not be accomplishing the most important things. He would, therefore, be efficient without being effective. Direction is more important than speed in most areas of leadership. My dad used to always tell us kids, you need to work smarter, not harder in this life. There is a lot of wisdom in that.
The last principle in learning better time utilization is the task of keeping a time log for a specific period of time. Who has time to do that, right?! Write down how you spend your time and when you go back and review your notes you will probably be a little surprised to realize that you aren’t spending your time where you thought you were.
President Brigham Young said,
“We are all indebted to God for the ability to use time to advantage, and he will require of us a strict account of [its] disposition.”
When choosing how to use our time we need to learn how to prioritize it.
Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with things to do-even during time of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.
What are some of the things you guys do to help prioritize your time?
I am a list girl. With trying to financially help support our family while my husband is full time in school, two little kids to chase after, a home to keep up, and all these other things that sneak into my day, I need organization and something for me to decide what task can wait and what can’t. So, I make a list. My husband often teases me about this but he knows if something goes on my list, it gets done. I encouraged him to give it a try and after asking him how it works for him, he simply says, “Yaw, it works.” Guess what, often times while he is sitting at the table doing homework I see a little list in his notebook, so I know he is a believer too, he just doesn’t want to admit it to me.
In making my list I keep certain things in mind. What is the best use of my time right now? Asking myself this question helps me to see the item of highest importance.
Is there a simpler or quicker way to accomplish this task? With a little concentration, almost every responsibility we have can be simplified, saving us some time…unless you’re me. If there is a harder way to do something, I usually find it, which surprises me because I’m usually a pretty creative girl. I think it runs in my blood because my mother is the same way. (Popsicle sticks) Our powers of creativity come alive when we concentrate carefully on how we can do a task better, or quicker, or with less cost. My problem is I figure out the “more creative” way when I’ve almost already completed the “harder way” and there’s no point in starting over.
The challenge to better utilize our time grows larger and larger as we take on more of life’s responsibilities and leadership roles. By seeking to master the separate skills that relate to our personal effectiveness, we will be able to meet this challenge. We will be able to strengthen our contribution to the Lord’s work, our impact as leaders, and our faithfulness in managing carefully one of the most important resources given to us.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks said,
“We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.”
When help is prayerfully and sincerely sought, our Heavenly Father will help us to give emphasis to that which deserves our time above something else.
Alma spoke of priorities when he taught that “this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God.” How to best use the rich heritage of time to prepare to meet God may require some guidance.
As we turn to our Heavenly Father and seek His wisdom regarding the things that matter most, we learn the importance of four key relationships: with our God, with our families, with our fellowman, and with ourselves.
First, our relationship with God is most sacred and vital. We are His spirit children. He is our Father who desires our happiness. As we seek Him, as we learn of His Son, Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Spirit, our lives become more stable and secure. We experience greater peace, joy, and fulfillment as we give our best to live according to God’s eternal plan and keep His commandments.
To strengthen this relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Focus more on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aim to be worthy of a current temple recommend. These will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father.
Our second key relationship is with our families. Since, “no other success can compensate for failure” here, we must place high priority on our families. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled time. Oh my goodness, all of my favorite childhood memories are ones that involved my whole family whatever the activity was, we were together. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.
The third key relationship we have is with our fellowman. We build this relationship one person at a time-by being sensitive to the needs of others, serving them, and giving of our time and talents.
The fourth key relationship is with ourselves. It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with ourselves, but we do. Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long until they being to hate themselves. Reduce the rush in your life and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you-as His precious daughter with divine potential.
Now let’s talk about some poor uses of time.
The poor use of time is a close cousin of idleness. We are counseled to “cease to be idle” so we must be sure that being busy also equates to being productive. We must be careful so that we don’t get blown from one time wasting activity to another. Elder Ardern share with us an example, it is wonderful to have the means of instant communication quite literally at our fingertips, but let us be sure that we do not become compulsive fingertip communicators. Some of us are trapped in a new time consuming addiction-one that enslaves us to be constantly checking and sending social messages and thus giving the false impression of being busy and productive.
Like all communication tools, cell phone with text messaging capabilities can be positive or negative depending on how they are used. Stories can be told of a texted birthday greeting that made someone’s day or a disaster that was avoided because someone was warned quickly and effectively in a text message. Still, not-so-positive stories can also be told of teenagers texting their friends during Sunday School or seminary lessons, of people being hurt by the content of a message received, or of people avoiding or disregarding those around them in favor of texting someone else. This is such a huge problem right now and quite honestly a pet peeve of mine. I am NOT a fan of texting. I guess I’m just old fashioned and feel like if you really want to talk to me, call me on the phone or come on by. That’s just my own personal opinion though.
Like e-mailing, texting can be a wonderful way to communicate and build relationships, but it’s not the relationship itself. It texting is managed and kept in control, it can have positive results. However, if it is allowed to take over, it can be disruptive and even damaging.
Unfortunately texting can be a form of entertainment for many people and I’ve got to say, it’s pretty sad if that is as good as it gets for you. What are you going to be able to tell your kids one day about what you did for fun in the “good old days”? Do you really want to admit that all of your fun centered on computer games, videos, and text messages?
In the February 2012 New Era there was an article entitled screening your screen time. Its message encourages us to be wise with how we’re connected to the Internet, TV, and phones.
Elder Ardern emphasizes that,
“As good as these things are; we cannot allow them to push to one side those things of greatest importance. How saw would it be if the phone and computer with all their sophistication drowned out the simplicity of sincere prayer to a loving Father in Heaven. Let us be as quick to kneel as we are to text.”
Having said that, this article tells us how others are plugging in and unplugging from technology to make a positive difference.
First we will read the responses for plugging in for good. Elder Ardern says that he has found it helpful to access research articles, conference talks, and ancestral records, and to receive emails, Facebook reminders, tweets, and texts.
A youth member said, “Technology ties the world together. I can listen to general conference at the click of a button. It also allows my family to communicate with each other. The Internet has helped me prepare a talk for church. It helps us to share the gospel worldwide.”
Here are the responses for unplugging for balance in our life.
You need to take time out to enjoy the world and talk to God, not just to your friends on Facebook.
Technology itself isn’t bad, but if it distracts you from what’s important, then it is.
Like everything else, “moderation in all things.”
We do need to unplug every day, usually more than once. During those daily breaks we need to spend time with our families and with ourselves.
For the Strength of Youth tells us that we need to exercise, and we can’t do that if we are always involved with technology. Sometimes technology can distract us from listening to the Spirit.
I thought those where interesting responses from the youth in the church.
Elder Ardern goes on to say,
“Our greatest happiness comes as we tune into the Lord and to those things which bring a lasting reward, rather than mindlessly tuning into countless hours of statis updates, Internet farming, and catapulting angry birds at concrete walls. I urge each of us to take those things which rob us of precious time and determine to be their master, rather than allowing them through their addictive nature to be the master of us.”
We need to have balance in our lives and this can be tricky. Life is hectic. We have so much to do, especially once children enter the picture. There’s school, work, Church callings, housework, hobbies and activities, and any number of other things claiming our time. It’s no wonder that so many of us feel stressed.
There is no one formula for creating greater harmony in our lives, but we can each do specific things to experience greater joy, including engaging in rejuvenating activities, setting aside time to be with our families, and focusing on the Savior.
Here are four suggestions that can help:
1. Increase Energy
Many people find they have little energy left for service at home or at church. However, we can boost the energy we have throughout the day in several simple ways. Communicating with our Father in Heaven while at work is an often-overlooked way to increase energy.
2. Simplify your life
Sometimes as we seek to please and help those around us, we agree to do too many things and neglect the activities that are the most important. Try to combine activities as much as possible and learn to tell people NO! This was a hard one for me. I felt like by not making myself available to everyone who asked, that I was being rude to them. This is not true, and I think this goes back to what we talked about with prioritizing our choices and balance in our lives.
3. Focus on the Most Important Things
We have been counseled that our families should take priority over other commitments. We strengthen our families when we set aside undisturbed time to be together.
4. Center on the Savior
We must devote our time to the things that matters most, and the things of God matter most. As we center our lives on the Savior, the needed happiness, energy, and peace we seek will come. When the primary focus of our life is to become a disciple of Jesus Christ, everything else-employment, home, and church-falls into place.
We will need to be wise in our judgment to ensure that the scales of time are correctly balanced to include the Lord, family, work, and wholesome recreational activities.
Each of us can experience greater joy and harmony in our lives as we learn to balance these responsibilities. We may feel an increase in happiness and energy as we spend more time on uplifting activities and set aside quality time to spend with our families. Most important, as we center our lives on the Savior we can receive the faith and endurance we need to help us on our journey through this life.
Elder Ardern closes by saying,
“Time marches swiftly forward to the tick of the clock. Today would be a good day, while the clock of mortality ticks, to review what we are doing to prepare to meet God. There are great rewards for those who take time in mortality to prepare for immortality and eternal life.”