RAISING MY CHILDREN Children are gifts from God to their parents. Children make a home a family. They are the inspirations of building dreams and eventually fulfilling them to come true. But what if children that parents used to mold to become good, if not the best, come out different to what they expect them to be? Should the blame be put on the parents, who want nothing but the best for them or to the children who push everything they want? It is a question that can be answered only when the right time comes. I am only thirty-two years old and already a mother to four kids. All of them are girls. I was only seventeen when I gave birth to my eldest Bernadette whom we fondly called Badette. She is now fourteen years old and in third year high school. I remember when she was still a baby, she was always sick. She got asthma when she was just eight months old. I barely had knowledge about taking care of a baby, a sick child for that matter, since I was very young then. It was hard for me those days. She never outgrew it but it rarely attacks now. During her childhood, taking care of her was easier. She was a very courteous girl and until now she is. She barely answers without “po” or “opo”. Until she was in grade school, I seldom encountered difficulty raising her. It was only when she entered high school that I started having a hard time coping with her. We always compromise on problems regarding her failing grades. But it happens only during the first grading period, she always makes up and never has a red after the first one. We always talk about the importance of education and that she should not disregard it for it is the only treasure that we can give her. She must set a good example for her younger sisters and if she would not obey us we might as well not send her to a private school. This is our compromising agreement. Talking about attitudes, she never answers back when she is being scolded but I can see her clenching her fists. Maybe it is her way of telling me to stop. I do not like it but I always give her a chance to explain her side. She is kind of lazy when it comes to house chores. She seldom works if she is not told to do so. I seldom spank her but my husband does whenever things go out of hand. I think one way or another it helps to instill discipline on our kids. It is one way of showing them they did something wrong and it also serves as a punishment. My second child is Joyce. She is twelve years old and in fifth grade. Oftentimes she is moody. I never question her being like that because she underwent three major operations due to congenital problem. She really is a very brave girl indeed. She is also forgetful at times which is the effect of the anesthesia she received during those operations. Although she is that way, she is a bright girl. She is also helpful, especially in our house. I appreciate her being helpful more than Badette. One thing that irritates me besides her being moody, she never gets along with her younger sisters. They always argue. I tell her to be more patient with them because she is older. I always dislike seeing or hearing them that way. When I tell them to stop, they will obey for a while but after some time they will argue again. I cannot explain it but maybe that is the way children are. They are like cats and dogs, when they get near each other, they always fight. Really raising children sometimes makes me crazy. Sheila Mae is my third child. She is fondly called Em-Em. She is eight years old and in second grade. Most parents do have problems teaching their kids how to use the toilet trainer but I never had a hard time teaching her. I remember when she was one and a half years old, she had this trainer seat and when she felt a call for it, she will ask for it and do nothing but wait for that seat. When she got older, she eventually went to the toilet alone. I think it was a very fulfilling task for a mother like me. Now, I do not have any problems yet with her. I think this is the stage wherein she just follows what we ask her to do. One thing I noticed about her, she never runs out of words to say whenever she thinks she’s right. I think I will have a lawyer-daughter someday. I hope so. She is very studious, if I may add. My youngest bundle of joy is Nella. She is almost a year and a half. For now, we do not have problems raising her except for the extra time watching her because this stage of her life is so crucial. If I get her out of my sight, even for just a little while, she would be climbing the stairs or is already on top of the table. She might fall or bump her head. Among the four, Nella is the most active but I find her very sweet. She always give me hugs and kisses and I consider that a consolation after a long and tiring day. Really. Raising children needs a lot of patience, understanding, perseverance, and most of all love. Children who are loved give back love in return. In this generation, children need a lot of space to move on. We, as parents on the other hand must be more understanding and should learn to compromise with our children. I think it is a more effective way to deal with them without sacrificing our values especially with those in their teenage years. Talking with them and asking for their opinions about things will make them feel important and open to suggestions. In that way, they will not regard parents as their enemy but as their friend, this will make them more secure and independent. Parenting sometimes, is not merely disciplining children. It requires a lot of techniques. Sometimes it works, sometimes it fails. We can even learn from it. Although it is very difficult to be a parent at times, you feel relieved when you look at your children, as they grow old. Imagine raising children with different attitudes and dealing with them everyday. It’s really a lot of almost everything. With all this, what do parents expect from their kids? Nothing much, maybe a kiss or a warm embrace or a little compliment or a thank you or just simply “WE LOVE YOU.”

Liezl A. Canlas BSE 1C Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Muntinlupa