Reflection Paper It was mid-day Tuesday on August 25th, I pull in Turner Avenue Garage Level 7, not having any money on me, I decided to change my parking ticket from the previous day, August 24th and change it to the 25th. At first I was thinking about doing it but I didn’t because I knew it was wrong and I left the parking garage. But two days later, on August 27th, using the same ticket from August 24th, running late to my 8am class, I decided to alter my parking ticket from the previous day. At the time it appeared to be a “good” yet foolish notion, in an urgent mindset to get to class with a hint of incautiousness, I used a sharpie and simply changed the date to the current date (August 27th). My desperation clearly clouded my judgment because the day before I knew how wrong it was to do something like that. After class I lost track of time and got busy with work. I parked at the garage from 8am and came back to the garage around 5pm, that was when I noticed my vehicle was missing; I was looking around the parking garage for a couple of minutes to see if I misplaced my parking spot but after awhile I finally asked two employees who were around the vicinity if they saw what had happened to my car. One of the gentlemen said if it wasn’t where I had left it, it might have been towed, and if that was the case, I should call MUPD. I did as he suggested and the campus police did verify that my vehicle was indeed towed and I had to pick it up at Tigers Towing. Left immobile, I phoned my roommate and asked him if he could drive me to the tow lot, he kindly agreed. He showed up 30 minutes later then we headed to the towing company. Once I got there, the employee told me to fill out could of forms and paid a towing fee of $70 to get my car out. As soon as I got in my car, I noticed a ticket from the university worth $50. So I got a total of $120 worth of fines for something I could easily had avoided. The solo drive back home was full of self-disappointment, and immediate regret, the day felt like a hazy dream. Why did I do it? If I had thought about the situation for 10 more seconds, the concluding judgment would have been different; I was rash and stubborn which is unlike me. I did not recognize myself anymore, the normal Burhan is a timid guy who is observant and abides by the rules, not the impatient, illogical guy I was that day.
A couple of weeks fly by and I receive an email from the office of student conduct instructing me to meet with the Office of Student Conduct Hearing Officer Paul Heddings. At the meeting, I met with Mr. Heddings and he asked about what had happened, I explained the incident to him and after the meeting with Mr. Heddings, I received a follow up warning email stating that if I violated any more University rules or Violations, harsher sanctions would be placed on me. Furthermore, my parking privilege to park in the core-campus area had been revoked and if I had a core campus MU permit, I was to return it to the university parking transportation department at Turner Avenue Garage with a copy of the email when I turn it in. A 1500 word reflection paper was also stated in the email in order to lift the hold on my student account.
This reflection paper is the deciding factor that determines whether or not I can continue my education here at the University of Missouri. I love this school, that cannot be stressed enough, going here has always been my goal since high school. Being accepted was an honor and celebrations after celebrations were held in three continents (North America, Europe, and Africa) because my mother made sure to brag to her siblings that I had gotten into my dream college, something she couldn’t achieve but lived vicariously through each of her children.
Not only did my actions cost me 24 times more than the original price of the parking permit, which was only $5, but the entire ordeal took a toll on my mental health, constant sleepless nights have been my norm. The idea of having almost four years of my academic achievements wasted away makes me furious with myself; my stupidity jeopardized my future with a simple stroke of a sharpie, literally! With only one semester left in order to obtain my degree, everything is at stake. Stress accompanied with insomnia became my persistent rivals each night. I was sleepless for days, but I managed to pick myself up, got to class, attended seminars and owned up to my mistake.
I feared telling my family, it took me weeks of contemplating whether to tell them or not and it was not an easy decision coming from an open and loving home. It is hard keeping secrets from my mother and two older sisters, who have worked so hard to get me to where I am now. Coming clean with what I did would be like diminishing all their efforts and hard work, Immigrating from war torn Somali as a single mother with only her children for company and protection, my mother prevailed against all odds and made a suitable, safe life for her and her children. Being the youngest in the family, my only desire was and is to make my family proud, my mom mostly; furthermore I am profoundly disappointed with myself for lacking good judgment and for not foreseeing that such dishonest deeds always come with consequences. I lost sight of my identity and upbringings, it was simple, and “never lie and never cheat” was my mother’s favorite advice for my sisters and I. She was right, sooner or later all things done in the dark come to light, I should have purchased that parking ticket, I should have gotten up early that morning and made it to class on time, should not have lied my way through thinking I was not going to get caught, I should have acted like the mature, capable adult that I am and expected to be.
I have realized it is time to take responsibility for my actions, I am fully aware of the damage I have done to the university and myself. What this incident has taught me is truly a lifelong lesson that I will hopefully get to pass down. The road to success, happiness and a sense of self confidence can only be achieved by being sincere, to firstly myself and extend it to those around us. Being a decent person never hurt anyone; I know that now, before I think I knew only the idea of it, I feel as though I have grown up in the past few months. Looking back I see my growth and I am pleased and surprised, we really never stop growing, learning and maturing even in adulthood. The anger and disappointment I felt for myself is slowly diminishing, and I am more accepting and acknowledging that mistakes do and will happen as it is part of our growth as humans. I feel a sense of maturity and humility; this honestly has been an emotional and humbling experience.
I have definitely learned a valuable lesson, I’m grateful to the department and office of student conduct in calling me out on and addressing my behavior. In my culture we are taught to respect educators as though they were your parents, to fear and respect. Educators are the second parents and discipliner, it might have been one mistake but one mistake usually leads down to an endless spiral of deceit and trouble making. You have made me reevaluate myself an individual and understand my mistake, that there are no such things as shortcuts in life. A life lived in complete honesty makes a person more morally and ethically aware. Dishonesty only leads to distance, chaos, unfamiliarity, disappointment and unhappiness. Society is getting more distant from more common basic human moral codes, and disciplining us students in ways that will stick with us for perhaps the rest of our adulthood is commendable. I would like to conclude with thanking the educators for taking the time to read this, I know and understand my mistake very well now. I would like to apologize for wasting the University’s resources, time and effort; I want to apologize for violating the code of conduct by forging a parking ticket and to lastly ask for forgiveness. I truly do want to earn and eventually proudly say that I am University of Missouri alumni, I promise to live as honest and true as I can and stay out of anymore trouble.