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Self Disclosure

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Submitted By ladyglenn
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Self-disclosure in Relationships
COM200: Interpersonal Communication
Andrea Glenn
November 4, 2012

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The article, “Can we talk? Researchers talks about the role of communication in happy marriages,” was very informative. This article made some good points about the different types of communication between couples. In this article, research scientist, Terri Orbuch, from the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, gave us a clear definition of the difference between communicating with your spouse and just talking with them. In “Can we talk, researchers talks about the role of communication in happy marriages”, Orbuch says a generalized conversation (sorting out who will pick up the kids, pay the bills or call the grandparents), is not a quality conversation that would take your marriage from good to great (Schoenberg, 2011). Orbuch talks about self-disclosure in a relationship. “Self-disclosure is the process through which you come to know the other person and to know yourself better as well” (Sole, 2011, sec 7-7). I can definitely relate to this article. Terri Orbuch brought up a great idea with her 10 minute quality conversation a day rule. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and have 3 wonderful children. We often find ourselves talking more about the days schedule and what we have to do for the kids or the house rather than talking about ourselves and what we like and/or want to do. Just the other day, we had an hour conversation about who is taking the kids to their school’s fall festival and a birthday party the following day. It wasn’t until I read this article, that even for that day; we didn’t share a minute discussing one thing about ourselves. Self-disclosure is really important in any type of relationship-not just husband and wife. It gives the other person, a different perspective of you. It will allow you and the other person the ability to learn something every day. Without self-disclosure, you become locked up within yourself. Your partner needs to know what or how you feel, your likes and dislikes, your dreams and goals in life. Self-disclosure is how the relationship started in the first place, and it should also be what keeps it going. Good communication knows no gender. It is the responsibility of both male and female to become good communicators as well as good listeners. I do believe I fit into the generalizations of general conversations with my spouse. I think it’s a little hard not to when we have children and we revolve almost everything around them. I will definitely work harder to make sure that we are not in that generalized number.

Reference: Schoenberg, N. (2011, Jan 17). Can we talk? researcher talks about the role of communication in happy marriages. McClatchy - Tribune News Service. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/840600645?accountid=32521
Sole, K. (2011) Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.

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