Sexuality at Different Life Stages
Kimberly Hamsher
PSY/265
April 13, 2014
Kimberly Hima

Sexuality at Different Life Stages In the case of Ashley, I would assume her therapist would point out all the options she has before deciding if she wants to pursue a sexual relationship with her boyfriend. She should explain the variety of emotions an adolescent girl might feel when a boy or young man shows an interest in her. She should let her know that the word love can sometimes be displaced and confused with feelings such as lust, puppy love or even infatuation. She should let her know that for her young age, those are normal feelings and though they shouldn’t be taken lightly, they should also not be taken advantage of by someone who is older, a bit more mature and experienced. She should point out that while her boyfriend might be very genuine in his feelings for her, she should never feel pressured to have sex. As hard as it may be for him, her boyfriend should be patient and understanding of her feelings. If he is not, then maybe his intentions are not focused on her wishes, but rather what she can give him. She should let her know that the possible reasons her parents’ attitude towards her boyfriend are not just because of his age, it’s because with age comes experience. Her mother might assume he’ll take advantage of her and quite frankly, if he’s pressuring you, then he is. She should let her know that as parents’ we always want what’s best for our children. It’s our duty to protect and provide guidance in all aspects of our children’s lives and her mother wants every major event in her life to be special. Ultimately, the decision will be on her shoulders and conscience, not her therapists or her parents. All they can do is listen without judging, offer the best advice they can, and hope she makes the best decision for herself, not her boyfriends.
In Wayne and Mindy’s case, I think Mindy feels more energized and excited because of her recent retirement, hence her renewed interest in sexual activity. Whereas with Wayne, he’s already retired and has settled into a comfortable routine and is happy the way things already are. I think it scares him that he might disappoint Mindy because he’s not a spry as he used to be. Their therapist should point out that while physical and psychological changes occur as they get older, sexual activity can be just as fulfilling if they understand what those changes are. She should let them know that as women get older, they produce less estrogen, vaginal walls lose elasticity, the vagina shrinks, vaginal lubrication decreases after menopause, all of which can make penile entry more painful. However, there are aids to help with these such as estrogen replacement therapy and vaginal lubricants such as KY jelly, which would diminish pain and increase sexual pleasure for both of them. She should point out to Wayne that as men get older, their testosterone levels are lower making it take longer to achieve an erection, and it may take longer to reach orgasm. She should tell them both that these things are a normal part of aging along with the obvious, wrinkles, turning grey and maybe not being as attractive to each other as they used to be, but that doesn’t mean their sexual activity has to cease or be less meaningful. They could try different approaches such as longer foreplay, sexual aids, etc. If they love each other and understand what’s going on with themselves physically then they, including Wayne, could be very satisfied with the outcome.
In Bob’s case, the therapist can offer to talk to his girlfriend as well to explain that his disability does not limit him in feeling some sort of gratification. Maybe she doesn’t know that Bob can still become aroused by mental stimulation, kissing his neck, lips, ears, etc. The therapist could tell her that his gratification comes from her response as well. She could tell her that it’s a common misconception when people assume a person with disabilities can not function in any normal capacity and that’s the farthest from the truth. She should let Bob know there is nothing to be nervous about or uncomfortable with, given the knowledge he has. If he is confident in knowing he can please his girlfriend and very much wants to take their relationship to a more intimate level, he should express his desire to do so. She might have already had that in mind but was waiting for him to make the first move.