...Chapter Seven of Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing was titled “My Heart Inside Out.” Conover starts the chapter by talking about how he thought he would escape some of the effects of being in the prison life, since he was only doing “participant observation,” but that it got under his skin anyway. This is the chapter where he most talks about his life outside of the walls of Sing Sing and the tolls it takes on him and his family. He notices that he is being mean to his family because of his vulnerability sometimes. He began to question whether he could mentally continue the remainder of time he had planned to spend as a correctional officer, detailing many of the pains he had and conflicting thoughts on the matter. The hostility from a simple attempt to correct a prisoner he said could easily spread to other inmates, and in doing so to him as well trying to deal with the control of power. He gave examples of the prisoners giving out extra food to other inmates, and how even though it was not a serious situation he was taking great strides to prove he was the one who tells them what to do, exhausting himself in the process. Conover also discusses the prison sociology and some of the “untouchable inmates.” This included a man who “smelled”, several transgender inmates, and others treated deplorably by even the other inmates. He goes on to describe some of the violent acts he has seen or heard about in prison as well, which he says are reminders of where you’re really working. He said how...
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