TJ
Eng. 320-Realism and Naturalism in American Literature
27-July-14

To Be or Not to Be A “Mother-Woman” “Who am I?” This is a hard question to answer. It is arguably the question that we most commonly ask ourselves, even in this day and age. The concept of who we are is so closely linked with what we do, that sometimes it is hard to distinguish one from the other. Motherhood from the “Realistic” point of view seems horrible! If someone were to ask me who I am, there is a whole list of words that I could use to describe myself, such as housewife, student, and caregiver. The social commentary of the late 19th century time period is just starting to look past the ideal woman, who was described as the “mother-woman,” to the version of femininity that is trying to be more of an equal with men. The definition of feminism is “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes” (MW 236). Nothing in that definition leads me to conclude, as Edna seems to believe, that motherhood is the one thing that will retard her individual growth. Although feminists claim that The Awakening by Kate Chopin portrays a woman stifled by a society controlled by men, ultimately the decision to act selfishly or selflessly belongs to Edna. There is more than one choice given in the text of who and what Edna could be. Edna could become the selfless “mother woman” that society is looking for, or the more selfishly motivated single woman who makes her own way in the world, but what Edna also fails to realize is that every individual has their own way of fulfilling each role. Edna has a concrete example of each of these roles to follow in her life, in Mademmoiselle Reisz and Adele Ratignolle. Both of Edna’s role models are set into certain “types” yet find a way to stray from them, and make them unique to their situation. Change doesn’t have to be dramatic to make a difference as Peter Ramos states in his article, "Unbearable Realism: Freedom, Ethics and Identity in The Awakening" “Both Mademmoiselle Reisz and Adele Ratignolle explicitly inhabit social identities available to them only to actively and creatively transform them. In doing so they implicitly demonstrate the options available to women of this time period” (Ramos 148). Yet Edna’s problem is that she refuses to choose “an identity or creatively transform one for herself” (Ramos 148). Edna is a bored and pampered housewife who, for lack of anything constructive to occupy her time, decides she wants to “find herself”. Too bad she couldn’t have found herself doing things for others, like volunteer or charity work, because ironically it is in doing for others that you can feel that sense of usefulness or validation, that sense of who you are. It is when she is engaged in worthwhile pursuits that Edna seems to be most at ease, for example “working, when in the humor, with sureness and ease. And being devoid of ambition, and striving not toward accomplishment, she drew satisfaction from the work in itself” (Chopin 717), and when she is found setting up her own place “Arobin found her with rolled sleeves, working in company with the housemaid…She was splendid and robust, and had never appeared handsomer” (Chopin 726). As a mother, love comes “naturally” for many, but not for all, and the act of “mothering” is one of the hardest, yet most fulfilling things in the world to do. Generally people care for their children in spite of everything that they do. Does a person care for their child thinking of what they are going to get from that child? A mother takes care of their child’s physical needs and feels a sense of gratification in doing that, and as they get older the child gets sassy and disrespectful and yet the parent still takes care of them and loves them. Anyone who is a mother can attest that motherhood isn’t all of their existence, but it is a very large part of who they are. Being a mother is not all fun and games, yet maybe Edna’s problem is that she isn’t even a mother except in the biological sense. Part of the issue here is that she gave birth barely having to acknowledge it, as she was “pseudo-sleeping” throughout the birth, “She was seized with a vague dread. Her own like experiences seemed far away, unreal, and only half remembered. She recalled faintly an ecstasy of pain, the heavy odor of chloroform, a stupor which had deadened sensation, and an awakening to find a little new life to which she had given being” (Chopin 745).
I can assure you that once you have gone through the hell of childbirth consciously, that you do not find it easy to just walk away from your children the way that Edna does in the end, but she is not totally selfish because we are told “It was with a wrench and a pang that Edna left her children…All along the journey homeward their presence lingered with her like the memory of a delicious song” (Chopin 734). In Jarlath Killeen’s article, "Mother And Child: Realism, Maternity, And Catholicism In Kate Chopin's The Awakening" we see motherhood described in the following way, “The love of a mother for her children is seen by the text as a dangerous creation by Nature as a ‘decoy to secure mothers for the race’ (Chopin 746)” (Killeen 417). Making us feel as though it is wrong to be selfless and willing to do things for your offspring. It is never said during the story that Edna is a bad mother, “She was fond of her children in an uneven, impulsive way. She would sometimes gather them passionately to her heart; she would sometimes forget them” (Chopin 675). Her feelings for her children are also noted in a passage about when she went to her mother-in-law’s home to see the children and “How glad she was to see the children! She wept for very pleasure when she felt their little arms clasping her...She looked into their faces with hungry eyes that could not be satisfied with looking” (Chopin 733). Yet according to the narrator, Leonce is not sure that she is a good mother, “It would have been a difficult matter for Mr. Pontellier to define to his own satisfaction or any one else’s wherein his wife failed in her duty toward their children. It was something he felt rather than perceived” (Chopin 666). In the summer when the children are off visiting with their grandmother she feels “Their absence was a sort of relief, though she did not admit this, even to herself. It seemed to free her of a responsibility which she had blindly assumed and for which Fate had not fitted her” (Chopin 675). Edna’s perceived lack is just that she isn’t a mother who acts in the manner of the other mothers of her acquaintance, who themselves are defined as “mother-women… it was easy to know them, fluttering about with extended, protecting wings when any harm, real or imaginary, threatened their precious brood. They were women who idolized their children, worshipped their husbands, and esteemed it a holy privilege to efface themselves as individuals and grow wings as ministering angels” (Chopin 667). What becomes the problem for Edna is that she cannot decide if she wants to be a mother or an individual. ”’One of these days,’ she said, ‘I’m going to pull myself together for a while and think—try to determine what character of a woman I am; for, candidly, I don’t know.’” (Chopin 724). You can see more of this confusion when she is talking to the doctor on their walk back from Adele’s delivery, when he asks if she will be going abroad with Leonce, “Perhaps—no, I am not going. I’m not going to be forced into doing things. I don’t want to go abroad. I want to be let alone. Nobody has any right—except children, perhaps—and even then, it seems to me—or it did seem—“ (Chopin 746). Until finally in the end, Edna “rejects the role of mother-woman, because she sees in it the creation of a necessary illusion by Nature…Nature as Darwin depicts it” (Killeen 417). A Nature that “in its desire to regenerate itself through the reproduction of the next generation…dupes women and then metaphorically rapes them” (Killeen 418). It is no wonder that in the end, “The children appeared before her like antagonists who had overcome her; who had overpowered and sought to drag her into the soul’s slavery for the rest of her days” (Chopin 749). Edna strikes me as Bipolar personality, alternating between happy and sad on what seems an extremely regular basis, “There were days when she was very happy without knowing why. She was happy to be alive and breathing, when her whole being seemed to be one with the sunlight…. There were days when she was unhappy, she did not know why,--when it did not seem worthwhile to be glad or sorry, to be alive or dead” (Chopin 705). It is also noted that, “It sometimes entered Mr. Pontellier’s mind to wonder if his wife were not growing a little unbalanced mentally. He could plainly see that she was not herself” (Chopin 705). Leonce even explains as such to Doctor Mandelet when he goes to him worried about the change in his wife, “She has abandoned her Tuesdays at home, has thrown over all her acquaintances, and goes tramping about by herself, moping in the streetcars, getting in after dark. I tell you she’s peculiar. I don’t like it; I feel a little worried over it” (Chopin 711). It is no doubt that men dominated the world outside of the home in the late 1800’s and Peter Ramos states in his article, "Unbearable Realism: Freedom, Ethics and Identity in The Awakening" that “the patriarchal pressures of that period posed severe obstacles for even the most privileged women” (Ramos 145). Edna has several servants to do everything that she needs done, thus she is seeking an identity because she has time to! There don’t seem to be a lot of obstacles to finding her identity for Edna, except that maybe she has too many choices. I can assure you that the lower class women also felt the same societal pressures to stay home, raise the children well, and keep a well ordered home, but didn’t have time for insanity or suicide to escape their responsibilities because, in short, they didn’t have time to get lost in the selfish idea of “self-identity.” In much the same way as the person who ends up dying within a year or two after retirement, the fact that Edna is not really “necessary” in day to day life, and has no plans for the future, contributes to her ending. Many see in this story a ending brought about by a male dominated world, where a woman who has no other choices, must choose to commit suicide to finally be free to be herself, but “Edna’s search for such an unrestricted, undefined and, ultimately, impossible state—a freedom from identity—ironically deprives her life of meaning (and finally of life itself)” (Ramos 147). These kinds of stereotypes are still a problem in society, and though life is not easy, laying the blame on someone else is merely a way to disassociate yourself from your own responsibilities. Amazingly enough, many women in the same situation did not give up and you cannot “overlook the courage and discipline of women like Edna who did survive and rise above such pressures, including the very authors of The Awakening and “The Yellow Wallpaper”; both women had families and successful writing careers, endured divorce or a spouse’s death, and remained active public figures for most of their lives” (Ramos 146-147). So because they had a purpose, they changed the restrictions placed on them by this society and flourished. In finding her purpose and feeling needed, Edna may have found the will to live and prosper.

Works Cited
Chopin, Kate. “The Awakening.” Anthology of American Literature, Ninth Edition. Vol. 2. Ed. James S. Leonard, Shelley Fisher Fishkin, David Bradley, Dana D. Nelson, Joseph Csicsila, George McMichael. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc., 2007. 661-750. Print.
"Feminism." Webster’s New Dictionary and Thesaurus. Ed. Michael Agnes. Cleveland, OH: Wiley Publishing, Inc., 2002. 236. Print.
Killeen, Jarlath. "Mother And Child: Realism, Maternity, And Catholicism In Kate Chopin's The Awakening." Religion and the Arts 7.4 (2003): 413-38. Print.
Ramos, Peter. "Unbearable Realism: Freedom, Ethics and Identity in The Awakening." College Literature 37.4 (2010): 145-65. Print.