Bruno had imagined a great adventure ahead. All in all, it seemed like a very sensible plan and a good way to say goodbye… but what Bruno didn’t know is that things would become excessively out of hand.

The next day Bruno got up to find out it was raining. Oh drats, Bruno thought. What if it rains all day and I get my new shoes all muddy? Then when I stomp in them, the sides won’t light up.

Bruno, sad at the thought of ruining his new shoes, dragged his body out of bed, got dressed, and went through his usual morning. He ate his breakfast of Lucky Charms with his irritating older sister, went to school with Herr Liszt, got lunch (which was spaghettios with gold fish and sour cream) and ended the day with Herr Liszt, who was droning on about a piece of literature with stupid sparkling vampires, teenage romance, and car accidents killing angtsy teens while Bruno was coloring in his Hello Kitty’s Island Adventure coloring book.

When his lessons were done and Gretel stole his coloring book to make paper airplanes, Bruno decided to go visit his friend, Shmuel. He put on his helmet, boots, biker’s cape and headed out to his motorcycle.

Bruno loved his motorcycle more than almost anything. It was a birthday present from the Fury (whom he did not like very much, but at least he gave good presents.) It was painted jet black and had ghostly skulls painted across it. Black wasn’t particularly his choice of color, but the skulls were neat.

Once outside, Bruno walked to the bench just outside his house where his motorcycle was chained. But Bruno jumped in surprise to see a leprechaun mounted on top off his motorcycle, about to drive off.

“Just what do you think you are doing on my motorcycle?!” Bruno demanded expecting the leprechaun to be scared. But instead, he laughed.

“Oh ha, ha, ha! What a funny little lad! Me names Haggot the Leprechaun,” Haggot’s voice sounded liked a thousand violins… being played by monkeys hyped up on coffee and dangerous drugs.

“I know you’re a Leprechaun!” Bruno shouted. “But what I don’t know is-”

Haggot cut him off, “I’ve been ‘round fur sev’ral years and have never seen such a lovely bike. I want it.”

“It’s not yours. It's mine!”

“I want it.”

“Then I, Bruno Pipperwitz, challenge you for it!” Bruno said jumping into the air in a karate pose, starting the battle. But as soon as it started, it was over for Bruno had karate-chopped Haggot in the back of his little neck, leaving the Leprechaun confused and disoriented.

Bruno jumped onto his Harley and drove off into the sunset to meet Shmuel.

~Meanwhile~

Gretel walked out of her home and into the rain to read a book on the bench just outside of the house. Now why did go into the rain to read instead of her nice comfortable room, no one knows for sure, Gretel was always a special case. But what we do know is that when she got there, she got a strange surprise.

“What the…” Gretel said to herself as she stared in bewilderment at the fainted Leprechaun in front of her.

And even to this day, Gretel is still very, very rich.

~

Several hours later, Bruno arrived at the fence to meet Shmuel. But instead of just Shmuel there, there was another kid behind him.

Something must have been wrong with Shmuel. He wore a few gold chains, which Bruno thought were very pretty; one which had one of those stars that Shmuel had shown him before. He had large dark glasses, so dark that Bruno could barely see his eyes. And, in Shmuel’s mouth, was silver foil.

When Shmuel talked, he spoke in a funny accent that made Bruno want to laugh. “Yo, what’s up Bru-nizzle!? What it do my brotha from anotha motha!?”

Bruno didn’t know what to do. For a minute he thought Shmuel was just joking, but now it seems as if his new best friend for life was actually brain washed. “Please speak English Shmuel...or is it German? … Yiddish maybe? I forget.”

“No, no Homie B. Me and my crew speak this way because there’s a rap battle going down over here today. It’s our way of standing up to the man. If we win, we be free. You know what I’m saying, G?! ”

Bruno shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Cool dawg. Now put on these clothes and you can be part of the group.” A large kid standing behind Shmuel handed Bruno clothes from under fence. Bruno changed from behind the tree and came out looking like Shmuel, only with silver chains and no foil in his mouth.

“Wow!” Bruno said, amazed with how he looked. “I look neat-o!”

“Right…c’mon Bru-nizzle the rap battle is about to start.”

All the people who lived on this side of the fence were gathered around the town plaza. They all seem extremely excited to see Shmuel and the other boy, whose name was Pauly; partake in the “Rap Battle” which seemed to be a big deal. At least two-thousand people were in their striped pajamas cheering and dancing in the streets.

Bruno glanced around nervously while Shmuel and Pauly waved to everybody.

Bruno gulped. “So, um, Shmuel, what am I supposed to do?”

“Okay, so here’s what you do, son. You gotta keep up with the fresh beats while I be spitin’ out the rhymes, you feel me homie?”

“Uh…yes?”

“Good dawg. Get ready we about to go.”

Shmuel gave Bruno two metal pipes. “Now all you have to do is this.” Shmuel motioned his hands together that told Bruno that he should just bang the pipes together. And on that note, the battle began.

When the rap battle was over, the soldiers tallied up the votes and sadly declared that the Jews, gypsies, blacks, and the other people in striped pajamas were free to leave. The Nazis opened up the gates and all of the people rushed out into open fields. Where they sung, danced, climbed trees, and a few started to mug people taking a stroll and use the stolen money to go to the closest McDonald’s.

Bruno somehow was able to find Shmuel in the commotion and dragged him to the side so he could talk to him.

“Where will you go now?” he asked Shmuel.

“I don’t know Bru-nizzle. I have no place to go.”

“Well I can’t go home now.”

“And why is that?”

“That’s not how the story is supposed to end.”

“Aw…”

Both boys thought for a minute before Shmuel got a very clever idea.

“You have your motorcycle. We could always go somewhere else.”

Bruno nodded in agreement. “That a good idea Shmuel!” He thought for a second. “But where would we go?”

“How about Russia?” Shmuel suggested.

Bruno shook his head. “I don’t think that is a good idea.”

“What about China?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Korea?”

Bruno sighed; thinking why everyone thought he was the ignorant and naïve one. “How ‘bout we go to Canada?”

Shmuel agreed to go and the boys jumped onto Bruno’s motorcycle and sped into the sunset. Both looking forward to their new lives as European-Canadians with their best friend for life: each other.