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The Diary of a Wimpy Bitch

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Submitted By ibleedorange1
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Today was a rough day. Let’s start at the beginning. Beep! Beep! Beep! The alarm clock woke my ass up at 5:15. I repeat 5:15! From what I'm used to, waking up before the sun rises is ungodly! Not even the beasts of the earth are awake before the sun is. I groggily strut into the bathroom to shit, shower, and shave, and then race out the door to my job. Pissed off, as I am every morning, I manage my way through the day, working as little as possible, and socializing as much as I can. My boss is like eagle eye though. Being the dick that he is everytime he sees me talking he comes and yells at me. “Maaaaaatt!! Get back to your workstation!” The nerve of some people! People need to learn how to chill out and take a chill pill. As soon as my work was finished I clocked out and snuck out the back door. No way in hell I was letting that fat ass, tell me to help out another work area. If I wanted overtime I would have come in early.

Because the lunch served today was basically inedible I was freaking starving! Free lunch or not, make me something worth eating. My dogs wouldn't even eat that pulled pork shit. I make my way over to subway to grab a foot long. Just as I pulled into the parking lot, I hear those dreaded sirens, and see the lights in my mirror I scream out in frustration, and think to myself “what else can go wrong today?” I get ticketed for no seatbelt and my tail light being out. Communist police are wasting their time on me when they should be out stopping crime. I didn't even do anything! Why am I always the victim? I devour my sub, after waiting far too long in line and finally head home.

Aaaaah yes… I can finally do what I want now. I earned my money for the day so I can pay my bills, endured standing on my feet, listen to my dreadful excuse of a boss all day, and even got pushed around by the police a little. I'm glad I'm a pretty tough guy though, and can handle a lot. A man needs to be able to adjust accordingly to his situation. It's something I pride myself with.

Now that the work day is over I decide to lay back and do what I do best... video games! Four hours of World of Warcraft, and I was hungry. Thank God for pizza delivery! Press the number one on my auto dial, place an order as quickly as I can, wait 30 minutes, and voila! dinner is served. I tried my best to not let my night be ruined by the fact they didn't get me double pepperoni as I had asked for or that the stuffed crust tasted like shit. Pizza is still pizza. Around 10 o'clock the internet got all laggy from the stupid storm, and after 5 minutes of buffering I decided to call it quits. Internet companies can never get it right! So here I am wrapping up my day as I do every day; writing in my journal. Overall, what a shitty day! Nothing went my way. Better luck tomorrow I guess. Maybe I'll win the lottery.

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