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The Marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet

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The marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet

The definition of a good marriage is the perception of the judge. When considering who is to blame for the Bennet's marriage, it must be said that it depends on which perspective is being considered. Jane Austen's portrayal of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's union leads us to believe this was not a match made in Heaven. However, if the marriage is looked at from different perspectives such as; Mr. Bennet’s, Mrs. Bennet’s, circumstance, or society’s, they provide opposing views of happiness and who is to blame in the absence of joy. After all are considered, is the marriage that bad? A person’s reasons to get married are essential in determining whether or not they can be happy. Society dictated that the Bennet's marriage was contractually imperative for both of them. Mrs. Bennet wanted to be secure and accepted a proposal that she thought would be acceptable. Mr. Bennet wanted a wife to take care of his needs and give him children, preferably a son. Both were tolerable to the other in the beginning and entered into the marriage with freewill. Early in the novel we learn the Bennet's marriage is portrayed as ill-fitted. They appear to be two opposites in humor, character, tact and priorities. In Chapter 1 we read: Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news. (7)
Through this passage, we learn that even after twenty-three years of marriage, the Mrs. Bennet does not understand her husband, and they are ultimately on two separate pages. Their characters are so different and lead us to believe that this is why they can never be happy. In Chapter 42, we learn that Mr. Bennet was captivated by Mrs. Bennet's "youth and beauty" and "appearance of good-humor" and, very early in the marriage lost "all real affection for her" after finding she did not have a good sense of humor (231). Judging by this circumstance, perhaps Mr. Bennet is to blame for the unhappy marriage. Mr. Bennet's choice in a bride, without knowing her, leads me to think that his hasty selection makes him liable for his own unhappiness. In Chapter 59, we find that Mr. Bennet is thrilled when he learns that Elizabeth is in love with Mr. Darcy and she feels they are equals. He warned Elizabeth on her marriage to Mr. Darcy: But let me advise you to think better of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery. My child let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life. You know not what you are about. (364)
This admission by Mr. Bennet supports that he believes he made the wrong decision in his marriage and, for this reason, should take the blame for his unhappiness. Mrs. Bennet, I think, has an entirely different view of the marriage. As we see with her obsession with getting her daughters married off to just about anyone, security is her idea of a happy marriage. For this reason, I don't believe that Mrs. Bennet is necessarily unhappy with her marriage, but by her circumstance. We read in Chapter 8: When first Mr. Bennet had married, economy was held to be perfectly useless; for, of course, they were to have a son. This son was to join in cutting off the entail, as soon as he should be of age, and the widow and younger children would by that means be provided for. Five daughters successively entered the world, but yet the son was to come; and Mrs. Bennet, for many years after Lydia's birth, had been certain that he would. This event had at last been despaired of, but it was then too late to be saving. Mrs. Bennet had no turn for economy, and her husband's love of independence had alone prevented their exceeding their income. (298)
It could be argued that if Mrs. Bennet bore a son, and he was to inherit the estate, she would not have so much stress and worry in her life. She and her daughters would be financially secure, and perhaps, she would have the time and energy to be more understanding of her husband. The unfortunate circumstance of not having a son could be to blame for her unhappiness. In today's society, it could be assumed that this marriage would end in divorce. However, in the Regency period that this novel was set in, that was not a common practice and society dictated the needs and standards for marriage. At this time, women married for security and financial stability. As we can see in the novel, property control and inheritance are associated with courtship and marriage. The fist line of the story, "It is a truth universally acknowledged that single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife", reflects the social-climbing attitude of women and men's need for a woman to take care of him (1). This view of a marriage as a contract has the missing component of love and passion. Society, Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet, and circumstance are all to blame for the state of the Bennet's marriage. Society is an important factor because it was ordinary that marriages were based on financial security, not love. Mr. Bennet's poor choice in a wife and his constant teasing is another factor. Mrs. Bennet's foolishness and obsession with her daughter’s affairs are other factors. Finally, the unfortunate circumstance of Mrs. Bennet not having a son to secure their estate is the last factor contributing to the marriage. Very often we chose a partner based on love and passion but when considering marriage, that is not enough for some people. Financial security, health benefits, and pensions are all part of the modern day marriage contract. The idea of finding a Mr. Darcy, a man that is both rich and suitable for love, could be like hitting the jackpot. The ideal of this ‘perfect man' is not a reality that most women face, including Mrs. Bennet. The Bennet's tolerate one another and are trying to do right by their children; mistakes included. For this reason, I believe that both Mr. and Mrs. Bennet could be in a better place in the marriage, but I also think it could be worse.

Reference

Austen, Jane, and Carol Howard. Pride and Prejudice. New York: Barnes & Noble Classics, 2003. Print.

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