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The “Me” That Nobody Knows

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Submitted By nette360
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The “me” that nobody knows is quite, reserved, withdrawn and scared. The total opposite of what people see on the outside. On the outside you see happy go lucky, free spirited, loving caring person who tries to assist everybody. I am perceived as being strong and capable of handling almost anything. The inside me is quite because I really have little to say about what is going on around me. It is not that I do not care; it is however I just get tired of people wanting my opinion. I come from a family of twelve, a mother, a father, and ten children. I am known as the yelling baby or second to last. All of my life, well since I can remember my opinion has been sought for. Frankly, I am tired of answering questions and figuring out every one else problems. I would rather be some place doing what I want to do and how I want to do it instead of always doing what is expected of me. I am the person I am on the inside because I am the product of child molestation that caused me to put a wall and always be suspicious. I am the product of rape and being sold, from the time I was five until I was eleven. So, as stated, most of my life I have been living for others. Although I have been through, I thank God for a praying mother; a mother who taught me to pray. After my parents divorced my mother, my sister and I moved and it was a life changing event. I did not know for a long time that people could live and not be scared to smile or laugh because they were actually happy. I got to experience a whole new world. It took God to change me and for that I thank him. I am now on the inside still a little scared but not for me, for my children. The world we live in today is crazier than the one I was in, even with the abuse. The person on the inside is still reserved, never really trusting anyone but God and as for being withdrawn, and quite not anymore. I can truly say I have come along way and it was because of God and my mothers love. Will anyone really now the person in me, no one but God himself, my author and my finisher.

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