The Voices Told Me So

It had been yet another long day. It was about 11pm, so I started playing the new computer game which I’d downloaded about a week ago, I was so addicted. In fact the last 6 days of my life had practically revolved around this game. There was something about the game that drew me in. It was set in a dark forest next to a river; the game had quite an eerie feel and was quite gruesome as you had to kill everyone that stood in your way in order to get to the next level. It was 3:25 in the morning, my mum had told me to get off the computer hours ago but I don’t tend to listen to her much now anyway, she as well as everyone else was so calm even though there were disappearances around our town. I kept telling my mum to be careful, especially when walking to the shop but she just looked at me as if I was crazy. I wouldn’t leave my room though. Oh no. I mean, nothing can happen to me whilst I’m stored away in my room, right?
I hadn’t had slept properly for a couple days but as tired as I was, I was too afraid to sleep, I would just toss and turn in my bed all night just so I didn’t have to endure what would happen when I closed my eyes. You see, I’d been having the same dream over and over for the past week now. In this dream I’d see a road, a long dark road that seemed to never end. And it was like I was an untouchable spirit floating above the image of myself walking along this road until I came to a stop. And suddenly my spirit would race like a lightning bolt back into my body, where I was shocked back into realisation. That was when I’d wake up, panicking and dripping wet in my own sweat. The dream never got any further than that. I’d told everyone about it, but no-one really listened. I spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, not even feeling the need to blink. I felt like I was stuck in a trance, frozen like a solid ice figure with my body a dead weight beneath me. My alarm startled me at 7, I snapped out of my trance. I dragged my legs along what should have been a 10 minute walk to school, not having the energy to lift my head for the whole way. I finally got to school after half an hour, just wanting to collapse. “You’re late!” my teacher shouted. My head flew up to see the sight of her red raging face. Her expression changed a little when I looked at her though, her frown loosened and she almost looked worried. “Oh dear, john, you look awful.” I had no energy to respond. I caught my reflection in the window of the class room, my eyes looked coal black. I threw myself into my chair and turned round to Harry’s seat to explain about the next level of the game, although harry just gave me a wrinkled expression, like he had no idea what I was talking about, he tends to do that a lot.
That whole day I felt like I was in a bubble, everyone moving in slow motion, lessons seemed to drag on for hours. When I got home I had a long hot shower, hoping it would wake me up a bit. The mirror had steamed up, so I wiped it clean and discovered my mum’s face hovering above my left shoulder in the mirror, I gasped and jumped around and she wasn’t there. I came to the conclusion that I was so tired I’d started to imagine things.
Each day carried on in this same insane circle, i'd wake up and it’d feel as though I hadn’t slept for a year, and I didn’t have a clue why- but I got through. Each day I’d come home and experience the same routine. I’d get in, have dinner, and watch TV then play the game until it got light. Even when I wasn't playing it, I was thinking about it. It’s almost like it had become the main priority of my life. I was determined to beat harry, my best friend at the game. He always beats me at everything; I suppose I was quite jealous of him although I’d never admit it. I was just about to close the game to get some rest when ‘king harry’ appeared on my screen in front of me. This was my chance, I pressed down the ‘enter’ key hard, killing Harry’s character. I smiled. Harry would be gutted.
I just about to close the lid of my laptop when my head started to feel light, not like a normal headache though, I could feel my whole body and brain shake until I couldn’t bear to open my eyes; like someone was trying to wake me up from a nightmare, shaking me vigorously while I clasped my sweaty palms over my tightly held eyelids. This pain lasted a few minutes then finally went. Something felt very unusual. I slowly let go of my arms and opened my eyes into a slight squint, like when you see daylight for the first time in the morning; I couldn’t see a thing though. I started to panic, a big gust of wind almost knocked my fragile frame as it wrapped around me, making me stumble backwards. That’s when I recognised exactly there I was. It was the road I’d seen in my dream. I tried to look all around me, in every direction, my head quickly snapped from left to right again and again. My heart thudding so hard in my chest I felt it take over my whole body. Tears began to stream down my face as I heard my loud breathing bouncing off my eardrums. I tried to calm myself with the thought that this was all a terrible nightmare, and any minute now I’d wake up, but nothing. I just stood there; I could feel my feet on the cold wet concrete. I began to run, surrounded by the echoes of the screeching wind. I ran for what seemed like forever until I tripped and skidded over to the edge of a river. I looked up and what I saw next no-one could have prepared me for. In the river was the floating body of a small boy. As I got closer, I lost my breath and started to panic as the body looked exceedingly familiar; Brown short hair, red rosy cheeks, small frame. The body was Harry. I let out a bellowing scream and clutched my delicate head so hard I thought it would explode. Everything started to fade; my sight had turned to complete darkness and my body drifting away from my control. I passed out.
I must’ve been out for a while because when I woke up it took me a few minutes to engage myself back to reality. I found myself standing in the front doorway of my house, I started shivering as I realised the door was open behind me, revealing the velvety night. It was a dream, it must have been! I must’ve been sleepwalking, it’d happened loads of times before. I smiled to myself in complete relief and went to rub my eyes when I realised I was holding something. In the split second it took for me to look down at the object, I had already guessed what it was; Thick, cold metal. My brain could not digest everything that was happening, I couldn’t move anything apart from the muscles in my face which had hardened and gathered into one tight ball. I stumbled forwards in disbelief when I caught sight of what lay on the floor in front of me. It was Harry. The knife I was holding slowly slid from my hand and landed point down on the wooden floor. He wasn’t moving and red smears which lay all over his body remained in sight even from beneath my tear-filled eyes. I started screaming until I couldn’t recognise my own thoughts. The next thing I knew there were sirens screeching into my ears, and I was flung into the back of a police car.
When I got to the station I was still in complete shock, who had framed me? How had this all happened? I explained the game to the police and told them exactly what had happened at the river which I had all seen in my re-occurring dream. There were many different people coming to question me, I had to repeat my story what felt like a million times. Then someone in a white coat came into the room, and asked me to go with them. I was taken to an empty place with high white walls which looked like some kind of clinical prison; little did I know I’d be spending most of my life here.
I was taken to a light room with a bed, a window and a toilet. The police investigated my house; there was no evidence of any sort of game found on my computer.
Schizophrenia is a mental illness that affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. People suffering from it find it difficult to tell the difference between real and imagined experiences. It’s just a shame they found out I had it too late to spare a life.