...What Is Friendship? What It Really Means to Be a Friend By Cherie Burbach When it comes to finding friends, perhaps the first step is understanding what exactly friendship is. Does it mean you have each other in your Facebook list? Or that you see each other every Tuesday when you play racquetball? Not really. A relationship needs to have some key elements in order to be labeled as friendship. A Personal Relationship That Is Reciprocated It's not enough to see a person at, say, book group each week and enjoy their company. In order for a friend to truly be considered a friend, he or she has to also believe you are their friend also. This can get tricky, because most people have a different idea of what friendship really means. Some people are instantly trusting of new people, and accept them into their heart without question. For these types of folks, they assume someone is their friend until they find out otherwise. The Difference Between Being Friends and Acting Friendly Other people, however, might act "friendly" with someone but not consider them a friend for quite a while. Perhaps these types of people need to get know someone better before they even consider labeling them as a friend. Or perhaps they already have a lot of friends and therefore wouldn't consider someone they occasionally at social events a friend. It's a not perfect world, but in terms of friendship, someone who is genuinely a friend usually: • Has told you that you are a friend or has introduced...
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...Friends or Dreams. “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali. Friendship, a natural presence which society interacts with frequently throughout the day. What “defines” a friend can vary in different answers if given to high school students, from a person who has already graduated college; one of course is more experienced than the other, while the other still is gaining more knowledge . The characteristics of a friend can vary from being honest, respectful, understanding, and to sometimes...being full of life. Aristotle, a greek philosopher claims that there are three type of friendships: Pleasure, which is when both of the friends are in a friendship because of the way they look, Utility when both have attributes that benefit one another…and at last there is the goodness friendship which is when both are friends because both cherish each other’s kindness and try to achieve for kindness(Aristotle..).All three type of...
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...focuses on the different types of friendship, how the friendships form, and how long they last depending on the reasons for the friendship. This paper will focus on the types of friendship as advanced by Aristotle, illustrate what he meant by saying friendship based on virtue and my views towards this subject. Aristotle differentiates between three types of friendship. First, he singles out mutual, recognized love among people with respect for one another. Their friendship is for mutual benefit. They love each other for the good they get from each other. These kinds of friends wish each other well in respect of the love they have for one another. The second class of friends according to Aristotle is those who love for pleasure. They do not get into friendship because they admire each other’s character but because they derive pleasure from one another. In this type of friendship, one looks at the pleasure that is derivable from the friend. The friendship continues as long as there is pleasure derived. For this reason, this type of friendship is only incidental. The friendship dissolves away easily in case one friend ceases to get the pleasure previously derived or if one of the friends changes in character. If one party ceases to be pleasant and useful, the other party withdraws from the friendship. Aristotle argues that the old follow the usefulness of a friendship while the young follow the hopes of deriving pleasure from the friendship. Aristotle uses his claim of youths...
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...Friendship: Paper Assignment Purpose: The purpose of this paper is to develop a deeper understanding about the nature of friendship, to explore the role communication plays in the creation and maintenance of friendships, and to reflect on a current friendship. Assignment Length: You will write a page paper (1 inch margin, 12 pt New Times Roman). These pages do NOT include title page and reference page. For citations and paper format, use APA style. Due Date: November 19, 2010 Paper Overview: Your paper will have four main parts. Part 1: Provide an introduction including a definition and some background to the topic of friendship. You need to do research here. Find books, textbooks, and articles that provide credible information on friendships. Questions that may guide your inquiry: What is friendship? Why do we have friends? What counts as a good friend in our culture? 1- 1 ½ pages. Part 2: Communication and friendship: Describe the role of communication in friendships. Questions that may guide you could be: How do we make friends? How do we maintain friendships? What communication fosters good friendships? What communication could lead friendships to break? 1 – 1 ½ pages. Part 3: Choose one type of friendship: male same-sex friendship, female same-sex friendship or cross-sex friendship. Choose one research article on communication in this particular type of friendship from the list. Read it carefully and thoroughly. Summarize the findings. What did the scholar find...
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...ascending order of value. First, is friendship of utility (144) wherein two people remain friends so long as each is useful to the other in some fashion. This sort of relationship would likely not meet the modern definition of friendship, but Aristotle did not say this ‘friendship’ was bad. This is friendship like between nations with similar goals, more a temporary alliance than a permanent relationship. A friendship of utility would be, for an individual example, the relationship between a shop owner and a customer. Both hold each other in mutual regard so long as the terms of utility remain the same, that is, until the sale is concluded. Aristotle states that this friendship is held by each person for “what is good for themselves” (144). The next type of friendship Aristotle describes is a friendship of ‘pleasure’ and it is held by each person for what is pleasurable “to themselves” (144). This type of friendship shares a trait with the first type in that neither friendship is truly concerned with the other person; i.e., “not because of who the loved person is but in so far as he is useful or pleasant” (144). This flavor of friendship is still not quite what we commonly consider a friend; but more like someone with whom we share a hobby. For example, a sports teammate or someone who enjoys chess whom we see at a coffee shop to play a game. Should one of us abandon the hobby, the friendship would likely cease. The final type of friendship Aristotle considers is that which...
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...The Three Types of Friendship If there is one thing that can be used to describe human beings aside from intelligence and the power of destruction it would be that we are entirely social beings. No person is to live a life without being social. It merely would be impossible and for those who do find themselves in the state of rejecting society and a social lifestyle, it would be those who have psychological disorders. With us being social it leads to the search of companionship. The reality is that we all want friendships. According to the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, we are complete social beings and seek friendship. Aristotle argues that there are three main kinds of friendship. The first kind of friendship is that one based on Utility. What is a friendship based on usefulness? I would describe a friendship based on utility as being for one that gets something in return for another’s actions. For example, if there is someone at school that always gets great grades on exams and for that reason I befriend that person in return to get help on my exams and the other person accepts if I drive them home from school, it builds as a friendship based on convenience. This friendship only exists because the individuals involved have a reason to do something for each other. Aristotle believes this friendship doesn't work and won't last. I highly agree for the reason that once the favors and usefulness of the other person fails to comply the friendship will eventually dissolve...
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...that friendship is a true virtue, and something that is worth focusing on to achieve happiness, and a good soul. He believes that friendship is “most necessary for our life” (Aristotle 30). Aristotle spends the majority of his Nicomachean Ethics focusing on friendship as opposed to other virtues, such as intellect, justice, fairness, and magnanimity. He views friendship highly and places it above all other virtues. In Aesop’s fable, “The Friends and the Bear”, two men do not exhibit the same values that Aristotle so devotedly describes must be evident in a friendship “The Two Friends and the Bear” describes the story of two men walking together for safety and coming across a bear. Instead of standing by his friend, the second man takes cover for himself in a tree and leaves his friend to fend for himself. The lesson behind this fable is “Do not be too quick to resume your fellowship with that other man, in case you fall once again into the clutches of another wild beast” (Aesop). In other words, do not be too quick to give out trust to a friend who has once betrayed it. Aristotle describes a virtuous true friendship, in disagreement with Aesop’s faulty friendship between the two men. The friendship that Aesop describes defies many of the virtues that Aristotle writes about. Aristotle writes that in a friendship both people should benefit from the relationship with each other. In Aesop’s fable, only the man who ran to the tree would benefit from continuing his friendship with...
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...little avenue for direct shared activities, they do reflect friends’ will to connect with their friends. (Vallor, 2011) Vallor’s paper focuses mainly on how new social media can contribute towards friendship by means of shared virtues. She does this by exploring the ethical significance of new social media trends relating to friendship. (Vallor, 2011) For her argument, she states that this “will” can be indicative of and meets the aims of friendship with respect to Aristotle. Indeed, with the limitations that are brought about by the fast pace of life and its circumstances, the significance of the will behind people’s actions is heightened considerably. This is especially...
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...explain the nature of friendship. How does the nature of friendship affect our moral obligations? Friendship involves a relationship between two beings pertaining to the elements of freedom, choice and love; “an association of two persons through equal and mutual love and respect” (Kant 1965, p. 469). Friendships offer support, affection, companionship and a sense of connection with another being. Aristotle and Kant hold similar views on friendship and recognise that the notion plays a central role in a meaningful and happy life, and also has a profound effect on our moral obligations. As individuals, we experience three main types of companionship, namely the friendship of utility or need, the friendship of pleasure or taste and the friendship of good or disposition. These three categories signify that we love or like our friends on the basis of three varying motivations. Furthermore, these encounters impact upon our psyche and belief systems to various degrees, changing us as humans and augmenting our views and morals. The friendship of utility or the friendship of need states that each person does not love each other for their personal qualities, but rather that they derive some benefit from one another. “This friendship comes about when men can trust one another in the mutual provision for the needs of life. It was the original form of friendship amongst men, and is encountered mostly in the crudest social conditions” (Grunebaum 2003, p.71). Friendship of need or utility...
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...When the Rope of Friendship Becomes Frayed A friendship is often seen as a tie that cannot be broken, no matter what interferes. In Laurie Halse Anderson’s novel Speak, protagonist Melinda Sordino’s friendships oppose the above. Melinda’s friendship with Heather is one-sided. Heather constantly forces Melinda to do things that would benefit her. For example, she makes her draw posters for the school and do Martha tasks like setting up the teacher’s office. Their friendship is also complete with betrayal as Heather is ignorant to Melinda’s personal life when she is leaving her. She does not even acknowledge Melinda as a friend and criticizes her for not being a good friend, even though Melinda was her first friend. All of Melinda’s friendships do not have one attribute; understanding. Melinda’s friends do not care to...
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...True Friendship Studied to this day, Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics is one of the most interesting pieces of literature I have come across. The text offers Aristotle’s views on a variety of topics including what a human being is comprised of, not in terms of physiology, but rather what differentiates us from animals for example. Most importantly, and the parts that I focused on for this assignment were the areas where Aristotle defines the various types of friendships, and the parts where Aristotle discusses moral virtue and how one can go about acquiring them. In this paper I will review Aristotle’s moral virtues in relation to the term philia, and evaluate why self-control is the most significant of the virtues required in a true friendship. Before diving in, it is first important to dissect the term philia as used by Aristotle in Nicomachean Ethics. The term philia encompasses a variety of relationships types including the relationships between: business contacts, parent and child, soldiers on the same army, the best of friends, and even the relationship to one’s significant other. Though today we would not necessarily consider all of these relationships to be friendships, the term philia did incorporate them. For the purpose of this paper, the term philia, or friendship, is about the relationship between the truest of friends. Within the scope of friendship overall, Aristotle distinguishes between three objects of philia: utility, pleasure, and good. The friendship...
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...Aristotle was about different types of friendships brings to mind the accuracy of what he believed. I think all three types are here to stay. Each has its own place in most people's personal growth but some become friendship midgets because of past relationships. They get stuck in relationship quick sand and either haven't found the encouragement to move on or dont realize that they are sinking. Utility and pleasure are self absorbing because at least one of the "friends" never intends on nurturing the other persons emotions or cares because the relationship doesn't require them to do so. "And not in so far as the other is the person loved but in so far as he is useful or pleasant" (Aristotle, p3). It's a monetary sense of gratification. Both can eventually grow into more but not often. The most...
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...Home Page » Other Topics Love vs. Friendship In: Other Topics Love vs. Friendship Love vs. Friendship Love is a four letter word that until now has provided a lot of meanings and descriptions. It can be anything really, from an emotion to an affection and dedication. It can be your love for your parents. Love for God. Love for your friends and the long list goes on. Love symbolizes a lot of things and is described in a lot of ways. Love represents a lot of things. It is a universal thing. But probably the most dominant understanding of love to the common is the beating of one’s heart for another person. Romantic Love. Friendship is a certain bond between two people. Like acquaintances. It is the word that describes your relationship with your friend. The trials and experiences you had and the moments you chose to treasure forever. They can be from your closest classmates, workmates, and friends of friends. There are a lot of words that go well together. But does Love and Friendship mix well? It can actually. It all depends on the beholder. It depends on how he or she handles it and it also depends on his or her perception of the two simple but meaningful words. Do they see them as just words? Symbols? Signs? Codes? It doesn’t really matter that much. But what matters most? When you have Love, Friendship comes in a second. It becomes a little bit neglected. It dries out in your part when you are too much occupied with love. In friendship, being without love may seem like...
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...Importance of Friendships Throughout the many unique and individual experiences I went through, the friendships that I made were one in a million. These friends shaped me and formed me in so many ways. I have learned an unfathomable amount through friendships as well as accumulating a lot of personal growth. The significance of friendships in my own American experience has taught me unique lessons, an open mind, respect, growth, and has given me a strong feeling for who I am. During my life I have been exposed to many kinds of people of all ages and ethnicities which have taught me things that I may have never learned. Thinking back, through all the memories and times, I got a taste of each person’s personality in my personal experiences with them. I found many of those people who I enjoy to be with because we share that common ground that lets you be yourself and feel comfortable. It really feels good to have friends on the same level as you. Friendship is a very personal and unique thing. No two relations between any two people will ever be the same because only those people know what they have been through or shared together. This is what makes friendship such an exceptional thing. A large part of friendship is learning lessons together, and for almost everything in the world there is a lesson that must be learned. Learning these lessons...
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...interactions with each other. The idea of friends with benefits is that two friends want a sexual partner, but do not want to have a romantic relationship. Can two friends have a sexual relationship without romantic feelings occurring? Can friends with benefits maintain their friendship? Questions involving friends with benefits arise from a myriad of readings involving cross-sex friends. It can be deduced from modern culture that the practice of having sex with someone other than one’s significant other is a commonality. I personally feel that many men and women, when young, are more willing to explore their sexuality. Young adults often don’t want to settle down as soon as possible; they may like to enjoy the pleasures out of life. There are many factors, such as feelings of love and the prospect of marriage, which can change the relationship between friends with benefits. The outcome of the relationship will depend on the individuals involved. There are multiple readings that discuss or portray the outcomes of friends in sexual relationships. For instance in Sula, a reading that involves different relationships between friends, the author used literary analysis to portray the effect of a sexual friendship between a man and a woman. Sula is a Native American woman who is sexually promiscuous. Even though she has slept with many men, she has never created any type of relationship with them. One day Ajax, a Native American man who lives in the same town as Sula, showed up at Sula’s...
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