...Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. NOTE: WritePoint comments are computer-generated writing and grammar suggestions inviting the consideration and analysis of the writer; they are not infallible statements of right/wrong, and they should not be used as grading elements. Also, at present, WritePoint cannot detect quotations or block-quotes, so comments in those areas should be ignored. Please see the other helpful writing resources in the Tutorials and Guides section of the Center for Writing Excellence. Thank you for using WritePoint. The benefits of early head start [If referring to the child care program, this should be capitalized] Shanta Denard PHL/458 Febrary 21, 2013 Joan Middleton The benefits of early head start Many people have different opinions regarding...
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...Something needs to be done about the media, and all the violence that is promoted, and being viewed by our youth all over the world. The media has no regard for our youth, and the influence they have on them. In my opinion, it is all about the money, and the ratings. There is a bigger issue out there besides both of those things. Our youth is being exposed to so much violence; they are becoming immune to it. Today, it is the norm for them. All media is to blame, but in my opinion, electronic media is the biggest culprit. The youth of today are being consumed by all types of electronic devices. Violence is big business in the media. No matter if it is Facebook, YouTube, music on an IPod, internet radio, MySpace, or any other of the sites on the internet or electronic devices, violence is present in some way or another. There are youth out there in society that are committing heinous violent acts, just for the fun of it. What I want to know is when did violence become fun? Kids listen to gangster rap, and believe everything they hear. (Dawursk Jr 2007) In 1994, two teenagers that murdered a police officer from Milwaukee, stated, they did it “just for the fun of it”, because they were influenced by “2Pacalypes Now”, a song by @ Pac Shakur. Everywhere you look, there is a kid walking with some type of electronic device, with ear plugs on. (International Telecommunication Union) In 2008 61% of the world population uses cell phones, in 2000 only 12% used cell phones. The cell phones...
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...acceptable, just for variety. Guideline 3: Vary Sentences Length but Seek an Average Length of 15-20 Words Of course, do not think your writing process by counting words while you write. Instead, analyze one of your previous reports to see how you fare. If your sentences are too long, make an effort to shorten them, such as by making two sentences out of one compound sentences connected by “and” or a “but.” a.b. Being Concise: Guideline 1: Replace Abstract Nouns with Verbs Concise writing depends more on verbs that it does on nouns. Sentences that contain abstract nouns, specially ones with more than two syllables, can be shortened by focusing on strong verbs instead. By converting abstract nouns to action verbs, you can eliminate wordiness, as the following sentences illustrate : Wordy:” The acquisition of the...
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...changes, according to WritePoint brought out that I use the passive voice. When writing an essay the passive voice can tend to agitate the reader because your paragraphs become officious and tedious. You must remain consistent with the active voice while writing. For example I wrote, “Within the same study it was indicated that 35% of Americans watched political videos online.” To remain consistent with an active voice throughout the sentence the writer should write, “Within the same study statistic revealed that 35% of Americans watched political videos online.” Replacing “it was indicated” with “statistics revealed” allowed my active voice to stay consistent and not agitate the reader. Another revision change that WritePoint identified was wordiness. Simplifying a sentence is one of the easiest errors to correct. You have to look for that extra word in a sentence that does not affect...
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...WritePoint cannot detect quotations or block-quotes, so comments in those areas should be ignored. Please see the other helpful writing resources in the Tutorials and Guides section of the Center for Writing Excellence. Thank you for using WritePoint. Cognitive Dissonance PSY400 April 16, 2012 Cognitive Dissonance Leon Festinger made his way into the world of psychology by introducing the theory of cognitive dissonance (Myers, 2010). Cognitive Dissonance is a reduction in a person’s discomfort that is [Wordiness: see if you can remove "that" or "that is"] from physical and or ["and or" is an awkward construction, a shortcut appropriate in a legal document, not in academic writing] emotional pain that he or she feels [Style suggestion: if "felt" is used in the sense of "to believe or think," it is a cliché and vague; use a form of "believe" or "think"] that a...
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...MEMO The memo will both summarize and analyze the information obtained in my interview with NAME, Senior Lecturer and Assistant to the Chair of the Department of Mathematical Sciences at IUPUI, regarding professional writing skills used in her particular workplace. I will also outline the personal goals I have set for my own writing. Interview Summary According to NAME, the two most important characteristics of effectively written documents are clarity and concision. Always a mathematician, she believes sound, logical arguments are the keys to achieving this in her writing. This practice helps her eliminate wordiness and omit superfluous information as well as achieve brevity in her overall document. Keeping her documents brief and to the point, she says, is a sign of respect toward her readers and their valuable time. Sound arguments also help ensure that readers will be able to follow her thought process and arrive at the conclusion she desires. NAME writes for many different audiences, often with varying levels of knowledge. These may include the department chair, faculty and occasionally staff from other units. It is important, she says, to keep the needs of the readers in mind. Even readers with the highest level of knowledge about a subject need to be kept informed about changes and advancements. She also advises that writers remember that documents are often passed along to other readers (perhaps outside the intended audience). She feels it is important...
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...Acct 306 Case Project Summer 2014 On January 1, 2014, NeedMoreRoom, Inc. (NMR) entered into a lease agreement with WeRentSpace, Inc. (WRS) to rent space for its corporate offices. Based on the lease agreement, the lease is properly classified as an operating lease. The lease has a 10-year lease term (expires on December 31, 2023), and there is no option to renew nor is the ability to negotiate for renewal provided in the lease agreement. In addition, the lease agreement contains two provisions that require NMR to incur certain one-time costs at the end of the lease term. The provisions include the following: 1. “Lessor requires the lessee to perform general repairs and maintenance on the leased premises.” 2. “Lessor requires the lessee to remove all leasehold improvements such that the premises are reinstated to original condition.” At the beginning of the lease, NMR placed into service various leasehold improvements (e.g., temporary walls, HVAC, carpeting) that have useful lives of 10 years and no residual value. Required: a. How should NMR account for the first obligation noted above? b. How should NMR account for the second obligation noted above? Hint: The proper accounting treatment for each obligation is one of the following: -account for it as a minimum lease payment -account for it as an asset retirement obligation -account for it as an expense when it is incurred For each obligation, explain which of the three options is the proper accounting treatment. Also, prepare...
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...Two Methods of Losing Weight Com/155 University Composition and Commination I Hector Escalante The two methods of losing weight that I am going to present are exercising and eating more healthy. Eating healthier and taking smaller portions along with exercise are very important in losing weight. You may also incorporate some sort of exercise whether it is walking around the block or walking on the treadmill at the gym. Obesity comes with many [Only commercial shipments and real estate are measured in lots. To use "a lot of" to mean "many," "much," or "a large amount" is a colloquialism (not universally clear). Use another term.] health issues like diabetes, although you can have diabetes and not be overweight as well. According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, being [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--If not a noun (as in "human being"), the word "Being" is hard to imagine; it means "existing." Try to rewrite this without using "being"--with action words like "attending," "working," "living," "experiencing," simply "as"--or even removing "being" completely] overweight affects two–thirds of adults in the United States. Over one–third of these adults are considered obese. The condition of obesity begins when one takes too many calories. More than what is needed for basic consumption and lack of physical movement which results in gaining weight. Diet and exercise are the two most common ways of losing weight [Remove...
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...Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. NOTE: WritePoint comments are computer-generated writing and grammar suggestions inviting the consideration and analysis of the writer; they are not infallible statements of right/wrong, and they should not be used as grading elements. Also, at present, WritePoint cannot detect quotations or block-quotes, so comments in those areas should be ignored. For additional assistance, please visit our WritePoint Lab to speak with a tutor. During the lab, the tutor addresses common WritePoint grammar and style errors, offers editing advice for students who use WritePoint, and takes student questions. A link to the lab is located on the Live Labs homepage, which is accessible by logging into eCampus and pasting the following URL (https://ecampus.phoenix.edu/secure/aapd/CWE/LiveLabs/) into the address bar. Physical Security Paper [This title could be more inspiring. Labeling it a "paper" or an "essay" is redundant (what else could it be?), and...
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...Business Communication Trends Paper Jennifer Amsler University of Phoenix COM/285 – Business Communications March 2, 2010 Paul Frise, Ph.D. Business Communication Trends Paper Most of my current communications on a daily basis [Wordiness: "on a daily basis" is not different from writing simply "daily"] are with a 3 [Write out numbers under 10] ½ year old, so I would say that business communications play a less significant role in my day-to-day activities at work than in past situations. However, before I was a stay-at-home mom [Avoid this term in academic writing unless in a quote (write out "mother")] , I worked for a large university’s school of medicine program where [If not referring to a place, use "in which"] I communicated in many ways with students, faculty, staff and [Check punctuation--insert a comma before this word if this is the last in a list of more than two--or if it begins a new clause] vendors. When we [Use "we," "us," or "our" to mean yourself and coauthors, not general humanity (or yourself and the reader)] communicate, we attempt to transmit ideas. We select words, order them into sentences and connect the sentences to build paragraphs...
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...Omar Farah English 3 Part 2: Why gun ownership should be held more strictly: I, Omar Farah, certify that I have personally completed this assignment based on my own personal efforts. I understand if I use outside sources, I must properly give my source(s) credit using the APA format and my paper should not include more than 20% of direct quotes from other sources. I understand if I do not provide proper credit to outside sources, I will be documented for plagiarism and be required to resubmit a new assignment. I will not divulge the content of this assignment or any of my work, generally or specifically, to any current or future James Madison High School students. 1/4/2015 I chose the topic “Why gun ownership should be held more strictly” because most of our daily news flashes say at least someone was shot and killed or shot and injured. I don’t like this; it is senseless and very sad. We are losing people every day, because someone is using their gun recklessly or leaving it where someone else has access or easily found. I don’t get why people kill people it is just inhumane and against our morals. Guns have very high danger to our country as well as other countries. That is why I pick or chose to write about this topic for my persuasive essay because that is what I see in guns and want people to see it too. I have one question to my reader; do you think guns should be under a stricter law? Honestly, I believe that we should have more stringent gun laws that tell people;...
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...Writer: Reviewer: Peer Checklist for Project One Directions: Answer each category with a simple Yes or No. If you answer no, please explain in the “suggestions for revision” section. If you answer yes to all categories, please offer a few constructive remarks in some of the categories. Introduction and Thesis: Does the paper have an introductory paragraph that introduces the ad, TV show, or film and ideas that lead up to the thesis statement or argument of the paper? Is the thesis statement placed at the end of the introduction? Does the thesis statement assert a clear argument about the message of the ad, TV show, or film and the impact that message may have on its audience or society? Suggestions for Revision: Paragraph Development and Organization: Does each body paragraph offer substantial analysis of how the ad, film, or TV show conveys messages about our culture and society? Are the paragraphs cohesive? In other words, do the sentences in each paragraph clearly relate to and build on one another? Is the entire paper cohesive? In other words, do all the paragraphs clearly relate to and build on one another? Suggestions for Revision: Evidence and Support: Does the paper have specific references to and quotations from the work (the ad, TV show, or film)? Does the paper use quotes from or references to three secondary sources for support? Suggestions...
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...r eHIT PARADE OF ERRORS IN GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION, AND STYLE 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. lack of agreement sentence fragments overly-long sentences overuse of passive voice faulty parallelism vague pronouns dangling modifiers squinting modifiers mixed or dead metaphors faulty word choice / faulty diction wordiness comma splices misuse of comma, semicolon, colon 1. a. FAULTY AGREEMENT Subjects and verbs must agree in number. Recent discoveries about the weather reveals that several cycles are involved. Recent discoveries about the weather reveal that several cycles are involved. The media was biased in its reporting of the event. The media were biased in their reporting of the event. Nouns and pronouns must agree in number. A student is free to express their opinion. A student is free to express his or her opinion. Students are free to express their opinions. Pronouns must agree with each other. Once one has decided to take the course, you must keep certain policies in mind. Once you have decided to take the course, you must keep certain policies in mind. X √ X √ b. X √ √ c. X √ 2. SENTENCE FRAGMENTS A sentence consists of an independent unit with at least a subject and a verb. All of these rules and regulations should be made aware of. Athletes should be made aware of all these rules and regulations. The liquid was poured into a glass beaker. Being a strong acid. Because it was a strong acid, the liquid was poured into a glass beaker. ...
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...in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint. Alicia Moore ETH [Check spelling] /125 [Do not leave spaces around a slash mark] 11/21/13 Dariush Ershadi My business of choice for the SWOT analysis is “The Discount Pharmacy”. The Discount Pharmacy’s main goal is to provide prescription medications for customers at the lowest prices on the market. Their goal is to be able to [Wordiness: Remove "be able to"; the sentence will read more smoothly without it] sell prescriptions at reduced prices by maintaining efficiency and targeting a specific group of individuals. The group of individuals would be the individuals who pay for prescriptions themselves. The Discount Pharmacy is a LLC in Portland Oregon operated by John Reeleaf. The Discount Pharmacy has many strengths going for them. Their main goal is to provide customers with the lowest priced prescriptions possible. In today’s economy this is something that is needed. Many individuals are in need of medications but are in the position where paying for them isn’t possible. Elderly have the most problem with this and [Grammar: A run-on sentence requires a comma...
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...in approach, sequence, support, or transitions (6) Organization does not meet requirements for purpose or audience (0) Design and Format (10) _________/10 Document format is excellent, with strong visual impact, design, and format (5) *Document format is good, showing effective visual impact and format (4) Document format meets some formatting requirements (3) Document format does not meet requirements for purpose or audience (0) Style and Readability (10) ________/10 Readability is excellent, containing strong attention to audience, appropriate tone and style and good transitional language (10) *Readability is good, containing an audience-centered focus with appropriate tone and style; some wordiness (8) Readability is minimally effective, containing limited attention to tone and style (6) Readability does not meet requirements for purpose or audience (0) Grammar (15) ________/15 Grammar, punctuation,...
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