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TS. DAVID J. LIEBERMAN





DÉ KHÔNG BI LÙA DOl VÀ LOI DUNG
. . .

Cac két qua nghiên cûu trong cuon sach này âuqc âua ra dtfa trên phu'dng phap S.N.A.P - cich thûc bài ban âé phân dch và tlm hiéu dnh cich trong ph�m vi cho phép mà không làm méch long â6i tu'qng Ôu'qc phân dch. Phtidng phap này dtja trên nhûng phân dch vé tâm ly, chû không chi Ôdn thuan dtja trên ngôn ngû cu chi, trtfc giac hay vô âoan.

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DQC vi bîft kY

ai

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Bàn quyèn tiéng Vi�t© Công ty Co phan Sâch Thâi Hà Website: www.thaihabooks.com Cuon sâch d1tc1c xuat bàn theo hf;fp ûong chuyén nh1tc1ng bàn quyen giùa Công ty Co phan Sâch Thâi Hà và tac già David J. Lieberman.

BQC VJ BKT là AI

YOU CAN READ ANYONE
Copyright© 2007 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D Vietnamese traJ;).slation Copyright© publication in Vietnam by Thaihabooks JSC, Vietnam

Ali rights reserved.

David J. Lieberman

DQC vi bat ky ai
Bé không bi lüa doi và lçti dt:Jng
Quynh Lê djch Tràn Vii Nhân hi�u dinh

NHA XUAT BAN D�I HQC KINH Ti! QUOC DÂN

Mue luc
• •

Sir

d1:1ng cuon sach này thé nào? 1 11

Phan 1

Bày câu hoi cd bàn HQC cach phat hi�n ra diéu ngùdi khac nghi hay càm nh�n mWRE

nhüng bi�n phap này dê' tlm hiê'u diê'u anh ta th11c Sl.f nghi, dù cho anh ta c6 n6i gl di chang nüa.

Chuang 3:

Li�u dol phuang co th\fC S\f t\f tin? 1 49

B�m muon biêt nguài dang doi di�n voi minh c6 th11 c S\f sà hüu môt ngôi nhà ti�n nghi hay không? Nhân viên xuâ't sâc cùa b9n c6 th11c S\f së nghi vi�c nê'u không duqc tang luang? Lân toi khi dang th11c hi�n tham van, dàm phan hay th�m chi chi là chai tu la kha, hay ap dl,mg cac bi�n phap này dê' nâm th6p doi phuang.

Chuang 4:

MQi chuy�n... co th1,tc là v�y? 1 67

Buoi hQp cùa nguài dong nghi�p da diên ra thê' nào? B9n gai cùa tay hàng x6m moi c6 là nguài dê tinh hay luc nào cüng barn riêt anh ta? Nhân viên cùa b9.n c6 thl.fC S\f vui vè voi công tac moi? Nhüng thù thu�t sau dây së giup b9n nh�n biê't diê'u môt nguài th11c Sl.f

càm thây kê' cà khi anh ta c6 kin mi�ng dên thê' nào chang nüa.

Chuang 5:

Do mue de) quan tâm:

Li�u anh ta co th\fc S\f quan tâm hay b9.n chi dang ling phi thài gian? 1 81
Dôî tuQng h�n hà c6 thich b� không? DOng nghi�p c6 th\fC S1.f muon giup b� hoàn thành công

vi� không? Khâch

6

D A VI D J. L I E B E R M A N

hàng tiêm nang c6 thl,lC S1,1' quan tâm tOi sàn phâin cUa bi;ID hay không? Hay sir d\lllg nhüng thu thu�t này dé kMm phâ chân ttrang S1,1' vi�

Chuang 6:

Dông minh hay ke pha ho�i: Thl,l'c ra hQ dang a phia nào? 1 95

Liêu nguài d6 c6 dang ung hô b�n hay không? Nêu nghi ngà ai d6 c6 ve nhu dang ung hô b�n, song thvc ra l�i là nguài làm hong nhüng nÔ Ive cua b�n, nhüng biên phap này sè vô cùng hüu dt,mg.

Chuang 7:

DQc vj cam xuc: Co phai b�n dang n6i chuy�n voi m(}t nguài ôn hoa không? 1 111

Chi cân qua quan sat thông thuàng ho�c dam ba phut tro chuyên, b�n ding c6 thê'biêt duqc do co phài nguài CO nhfrng dau hiêu bat on hay b�o ll,l'C tiem tàng không. Hay chiê'm the thuqng phong trong viêc chu dông nh�n biê't diê'u cân tim kiêm - à bat quan trQng dô'i voi b�n.

ky ai - và

diê'u cân h6i dê' bào vê bàn thân b�n và nhüng nguài

f>QC V! B .(T KY Al

7

fr\ �U10Füliii0 pot

DOC V! B A T K Y A l

15

Chuo'ng

1

Li'u loi phltang co la ng che giau 4iéu gl không?
"St;i chân th�t c6 thé là dch giài quyét tot nh:h, nhring ding d.n nh& rang theo phridng phap lot bQ sé sach ké toan riêng, roi dùng mtfc không màu1 dé viét ..." thi cé lë anh ta da ng g iâ'u giém dièu gi d6. Tï;�i hQc Warsaw trang bài viet "Nhil'ng tac dqng cùa thành kiên vô thltc dl/a trên nhil'ng phân dean sau SI/ ki�n", dling trên t;;sp chi Nhân cach và Tâm ly hQc Xa hqi, so 3, 1985.

2 3

DAVID J. LJEBERMAN

mâng vi không chiu nghe ky hu6'ng dân, hoij.c se duejc trà loi môt cach chung chung, vô thuiéu gl khién mc?t ngltèti trà nên "blnh thltètng" hay ''không blnh thltètng"?
Trong moi nguài chung ta c6 ba nhân to cùng ton t�i, binh thuàng tach bi�t nhau, dôi khi chong chéo, trai ngUQ'c nhau, d6 là: tâm hon (luang tâm), bàn nga (cai tôi) và co thé. Tâm hon tim câch làm dieu dung dân, bàn nga (môt d�ng tâm hon i:J mûe dô thap hon) thi muon tri:J nên dung, côn co thé chi muon thoât khoi tat cà nhùng ly lu�n lang nhâng này.
I I .1

DAV I D J . LIEBERMAN

Cà thé chung ta chi muon làm gi dè dàng và thoài mai nhâ't. Vi dl,l dien hinh cho vi�c lé}.m dl,lng Sl,t tl,t do làm theo y thich là vi�c an qua nhieu hay ngù qua nhièu - theo d6 c6 thé hiéu rang khi muon hành dông theo dièu Cd the mach bào, chung ta chi muonjkhông muon làm dièu gi d6 vi càm thay muon thé mà thôi.
Vi d1,1 ve hành dông vi bàn nga nhtt vi�c ta phài

kièm che dé không buôt mi�ng buông là'i che gièu ngttà'i vùa m6'i b6 môt dong tièn dé mua môt chiée xe hào nhoang châng dé làm gi. ve bàn chat, vi�c mua xe này cùa hQ ciing chi là hành dông cot dé thé hi�n ra v6'i ngttà'i khac. Khi hành dông theo bàn nga, chung ta thttÔ'ng làm nhii'ng vi�c cot sao dé danh b6ng hinh , ành bàn thân, khién ngttÔ'i khac nghi tot ve minh, ch(r không phài nhii'ng vi�c mà chung ta cho là dung. Cuoi cùng, khi hành dông vi luang tâm, chung ta se làm dièu mà chung ta cho là dung, bat chap vi�c chung ta càm thay thé nào khi làm dièu d6. Tom lé}.i, Cd thé chi muon làm cai mà n6 thich làm, bàn nga muon làm dièu se làm n6 dttQ"c nhin nh�n tot, côn lttdng tâm chi muon làm dièu dung dan. Khi dong ho bao th(re reo vào moi buoi sang, cà ba nhân to này se cùng dau tranh trong bàn thân chung ta. Néu chung ta dtta tay tât nut bao thlrc, bé}.n CO doan dttQ"C nhân to nào da vttQ"t lên hai cai côn lé}.i không? Sl,t thoài mai thl,tc Sl,t không phài là vi�c c6 thé làm dièu mà chung ta thich làm, mà là c6 thé làm dièu mà chung ta thl,l'c Sl,t muon làm, bat chap vi�c chung ta CO thfch làm hay là không.
D O C V ! BÂT K Y A l
IJ3

Già sü bçm dang an kiêng và dQt n h iên rat thèm an sô-cô-la. B�n co gâng dau tranh chong l�i ham muon này, nhu'ng roi b�n không thé cu'àng l�i và da an m9t it. B�n cô thé nôi râng minh thoài mâi không? Khi �n thich an, b�n da an. f>ây là si/ tl/ do hay bô bu9c? Sau khi làm nhu' v�y, càm giâc cùa b�n ra sao? B�n cô càm giâc thé nào vë bàn thân n éu b�n cu'àng l�i du'qc si/ thèm an dô?

TI �P C�N NHANH

Khi vu'Qt qua du'qc nhùng câm dô và khang crj duqc chung, tûc là chung ta da trài qua qua trinh trJ kïêm ché bàn thân. Chi khi co thê hành d9ng vi trach nhiêm, chung ta mâi co duqc srJ trJ tôn trong bàn thân, tûc là long trJ trong. Umg hl trQng và khà nang hl kzëm chë co mOi quan h� tu'o'ng quan qua lt).i lân nhau. Néu chung ta không thé kiem che mà làm môt dieu chi dé th6a man srJ hài long nhat thôi hay chi làm sao cot dé bào v� và danh hong hinh ành cùa bàn thân thi chung ta së nhanh chong càm thay toi t�. Khi do, chung ta së chi song vi nhùng co'n boe dong kho kiém soat và 1� thuôc vào srJ danh gia cùa ngu'à'i khac dé duy tri bàn nga cùa minh. Khi an uong qua mûe, trJ chung ta ciing càm thay brJc minh, kho chiu vâi bàn thân. Xét ve khia ct).nh sâu ho'n, thông thu'à'ng khi èJ trt).ng thai vô thûc, chung ta làm dieu gi do cot dé "thS hi�n" thi chung ta châng co càm giac gi cà. Khi hành dông nhu' �y tûc là chung ta da b6 qua dieu chung ta thrjc Srj muon dièu chung tf. nên làm chi vi m\lC dich dânh hong hinh ành cùa oàn thân.
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114

DAV I D J . L I E B E R M A N

Môt ngttài khi da rc chu yéu vào nhân cach con nguè1i: èi m�t t6t hay xau. Và néu cà nhân cich ding không co thl không nguè1i thay nào co thé giup hQc sinh t�o ra no hay thay thé hQc sinh quyét dinh."
Carl Jung (1 875 - 1 961)

�n c6 thé biét môt ngt.tèti c6 long t\1' trQng thap, nht.tng dièu d6 không c6 nghia anh ta là ngt.tèti c6 "câi tôi" létn. S\1' t\1' tôn giàm di se dàn toi h�i tr�ng thâi tâm ly. Môt là nh�n thli'c cùa ngt.tèti d6 bi thay d6i và hai là phan "tinh câch" trong con ngt.tèti anh ta se troi d�y. thé hiên qua thâi dô bat on cùa anh ta. Cùng là ngt.tèti không c6 nhièu S\1' t\1' tôn, hai ngt.tèti khâc nhau se c6 thâi dô khâc nhau doi voi cùng môt s\1' viêc. Tir cà hai lo�i tr�ng thâi tâm ly này, chung ta se dQc dt.tQ'c vi cùa ngt.tèti d6: nhii'ng suy nghi, càm giâc và thâi dô cùa hQ trong bat ky hoàn cành nào.

B

Môt kiéu se giàm bot "câi tôi" và biét t\1' tôn trQng minh han - dây là kiéu ngt.tèti lê dô, biét nhun nht.tètng; côn môt kiéu, ngt.tQ'c l�i, se th6i phong "câi tôi" cùa minh và quên mat t\1' trQng - dây là kiéu ngt.tÔ'i kiêu ng�o. Ngoài ra côn c6 môt khà nang nii'a, d6 là kiéu long t\1' tôn thap và "câi tôi" ciing không lon - dây là tr�ng thâi tâm ly t\1' khinh khi, h� thap chinh bàn thân. Thy nhiên, can nha ding không c6 kiêu nào vira c6 long t{t tôn cao vira c6 "cai tôi'' létn cà.

Kiéu ngt.tèti dè gây nguy hiém cho ngt.tèti khâc nhat là kiéu c6 "câi tôi" qua lon mà hau nht.t không c6 long t\1' trQng. Côn kiéu ngt.tèti nguy hiém nhat voi anh ta là kiéu vira c6 long t\1' tôn thap và ciing không c6 "câi tôi" lon. Li do là vi môt kè kiêu ng�o se de bôc phât celn n6ng gi�n ra ngoài han ngt.tèti t\1' coi minh là thap kém. Nhii'ng tên tôi ph�m c6 hành vi b�o l\l'c tht.tètng là nhii'ng kè thién c�n mà cU' co t6 vè minh m�nh b�o.
DAV I D J . LIEBERMAN

Trong khi ngu'èti không c6 cà long tt;r tôn làn "câi tôi" thu'ètng nin nhin và tl)' trâch minh là nguèti vô dv.ng. Trong chuang này, chung ta se cùng xem xét ky han cà ba lo;;ti tinh câch này.
Lo�i tln h cach LE-D - ngu'èti tlf coi minh là thap kém

Nhii'ng ngu'èti thuôc lo;;ti này thu'ètng rat hay xin loi, th�m chi khi loi không phài do ho gây ra.-:Ho chap nh�n làm dièu minh không may thich, không phài vi quy men ngu'Ô'Ï ta mà vi S(/ không du'(}C long ho. Nguèti kiéu này rat hiém khi biét dtrng lên tl)' tranh dau cho bàn thân, vi ho thu'ètng tt.t coi nhii'ng nhu cau cùa minh là kém quan trong han so v6'i ngu'èti khâc, do d6 chi biét suot ngày tim câch lay long ngu'èti khâc. Rat dè nham giiîa môt ngu'èti chi biét "cho" dé chiém càm tinh cùa nguèti khâc v6'i môt nguèti cho di vi dan giàn ho muon làm thé, ho�c vi càm thay d6 là dièu dung dân nên làm. Cùng môt sl,l' viÇc c6 thé gây ra hai tr;;tng thâi càm xuc hoàn toàn khâc nhau, tùy vào y dinh ban dau cùa b;;tn. D6 là sl,l' khâc biÇt giùa càm giâc bi cu'6'p và quyên g6p làm tù thiÇn. Cà haï truètng hqp deu là dem tièn cho ngu'èti khâc, nhung môt câi khién b;;tn c6 càm giâc rpln:h tot d�p lên, càn môt câi khién b;;tn càm thay minh bi kém di; nghia là môt tru'ètng hqp giup cùng co thêm long tl)' tôn cùa b;;tn, trong khi truètng hqp côn l;;ti làm kiêt quÇ tinh than cùa b;;tn. Thl)'c ra, b;;tn không he cho, mà c6 nguèti khâc lay cùa b;;tn. B;;tn chap nh�n dé
D Q C V ! B AT KY A l

bi lQ'i dt.mg. Chi khi h,ra chQn cùa b

Lo�i tlnh cach LE-A

-

ngllèti kiêu ng�o

Kiéu ngU'èti này thich dU'çtc coi là trung tâm cùa S\1' chu y và thU'ètng rat to tiéng, dè noi cau, hay phàn nàn. Viêc luc nào cüng dôi h6i duçtc chu y, duçtc coi là quan trQng da che giau bàn chat kém t\1' tôn cùa hQ. Nguèti d�ng này luc nào cüng tiro kiém s\1' ùng hô và nhihlg lèti ninh bçt tÙ' ngll'èti khac, khi không dU'çtc thi rat dè tûc gi�n. HQ không ng�i ngan xuc ph�m ho�c la mâng nguèti khac néu viêc d6 làm hQ c6 ành huèJng tot h

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DOC VI

� T1 ... FIBDOICS \JY 16ïôiMëiîïô fiiiiii kliîii i

Nhùng biéu hi�n LE-D và LE-A


cùa loëll i tinh

cach két

hc;tp giùa

Nhli}y càm quâ mûe càn thiêt Ngu'Ô'Î theo kiéu LE-A se c6 biéu hi�n gian dii' và t\l' dt1ng lên cho minh môt tarn chân mli}nh me, trong khi nhii'ng nguèti LE-D trO' nên huon ba và thu minh llil.i. Thuètng sl.'t d1,mg nhii'ng ngôn tÙ' chan nàn và hay song v6'i quâ khu, dù dïêu d6 châng mang lli}i càm giâc dè chiu chut nào cho anh ta. Thltètng co gâng trong vô thuc dé gây an tu'c;tng minh là ngu'Ô'Î quyét doân, dût khoât. Hay nhin dèti bang haî màu "trâng, den"; trong tru'Ô'ng hc;tp không phù hc;tp thi chuyén sang màu pha trôn giii'a haî màu trên, tuc là màu "xâm". T\l' d\l'ng lên hinh ành sai l�ch ve bàn thân v6'i the gi6'i xung quanh vi muon du'Q"C ngu'Ô'Î khâc nghi rang minh tot d�p han bàn thân trong th\l'C te. Moi chuy�n deu c6 thé liên h� den bàn thân, bO'i vi c6 gi c6 thé quan trQng han bàn thân hQ trung tâm cùa vü tr1,1? Thu'Ô'ng tim kiém slJ' ùng hô và càm giâc yên lông nai ngu'Ô'i khâc. Tràn ngap nhii'ng nïêm tin mù quâng, luôn c6 xu h1t6'ng hành dông kiéu càm tinh, khi èân bi�n minh cho hành dông cùa minh thi lli}i vi�n den câc suy nghi kiéu logic.
DAV I D J . L I E B E RMAN













190



Dê nôi n6ng, tuc gi�n; tâm tr;;tng thay dôi thâl thuèJng ho�c dê dàng buông xuôi khi gij.p chuyên kh6 khan.



Không giù du

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...Almost half a century ago, John Berger expounded how authority has became the barrier of vision through analyzing the impact of ways of seeing on art. Nowadays, people seem to have no need to worry about this problem because of the development of technology. We have the most advanced and sophisticated machines which can help us to “see” the nature of object. For example, a microscope can amplify the object thousands of times and a telescope can look across the milky way through the distant galaxy. The advanced technology allows people to enjoy famous paintings in the world even if they never leave home, and people no longer need to care some disease because we have such developed medical system. Therefore, a large number of people believe that science is omnipotent. But is that the real truth? From my point of view, contemporary science has became a kind of superstition since it plays such a important role in our daily life, and it has became the barrier of vision which blinds people’s eyes as people rely on technology for everything they do. An important part of science is creativity, Edward de Bono once said, “There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same pattern.” It is those invention which led us farewell to poverty and backwardness. Among those great inventions, I believe camera is the most charming one. Berger mentioned the impact of......

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...C h a p t e r 4 ELASTICITY Topic: Calculating Elasticity Skill: Conceptual Price Elasticity of Demand 4) Topic: The Price Elasticity of Demand Skill: Conceptual 1) The slope of a demand curve depends on A) the units used to measure price and the units used to measure quantity. B) the units used to measure price but not the units used to measure quantity. C) the units used to measure quantity but not the units used to measure price. D) neither the units used to measure price nor the units used to measure quantity. A) B) C) D) When the quantity of coal is measured in kilograms instead of pounds, the demand for coal becomes more elastic. less elastic. neither more nor less elastic. undefined. Answer: C Topic: Calculating Elasticity Skill: Recognition 5) The price elasticity of demand equals A) the change in the price divided by the change in quantity demanded. B) the change in the quantity demanded divided by the change in price. C) the percentage change in the price divided by the percentage change in the quantity demanded. D) the percentage change in the quantity demanded divided by the percentage change in the price. Answer: A Topic: The Price Elasticity of Demand Skill: Conceptual 2) The price elasticity of demand depends on A) the units used to measure price and the units used to measure quantity. B) the units used to measure price but not the units used to measure quantity. C) the units used to......

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