My name is Mahaji Ahi Khuwaylid daughter of Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid and Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid. My mother was a well-known merchant and a respected woman even in death. I alongside my siblings hold a high social status in Mecca. I decided to continue to run my mother’s merchant company. My brothers have businesses of their own. In Islam it is unusual for a woman to be in a place of leadership however in my case this is an exception because my mother was held with such high regards. Some people feel jealous of my status and even after my mother’s death argue that my father only stayed faithful to her because of her higher social standing but I know the truth. It was because they were madly in love. They meet through a friend of my mother’s named Nafisa. She told my father that my mom wanted to marry him but he said that he wasn’t able to support a wife. She told her friend to let him know that she could support herself and then they were married. They stayed married 25 years. This is the kind of love I want. My mother taught me it is ok to turn down a proposal and also how to be a strong woman. However not every woman is blessed with this opportunity or privilege. I miss my mother. She passed away and I visit my mother’s tomb frequently. She is buried in Jannatul Mualla cemetery, in Mecca, Saudi Arabia.
My Father is a prophet; he said he saw the revelation from the Angel Gabriel in the cave of Hira. He stays with his wife Aisha. My father showed all of us how to pray to Allah. We pray 5 times a day facing the great city of Mecca. First prayer is at dawn, then noon, mid- afternoon, sunset and before going to bed. Since my father came from a poor family he taught us the fundamentals of helping the poor and giving back so we give to the poor daily.
My father teaches the gospel as well. At times I must admit I feel overwhelmed because I am held to a high standard but things could be worse, most women are with no rights and treated like slaves. They are used for sexual purposes and only good to birth children not even free to speak. They live life to the will of others. They can’t do or say what they want for fear of being punished or beaten. Just yesterday I saw a woman in the center of Mecca while I was walking from visiting my mother being sold into marriage. She looked scared. She was captured from some man from her family and now would be married to this man and would never be able to get a divorce and have to be his slave all the days of her life. When I think about things like that I wonder why Allah placed me in a privileged position. I knew I had to pray for her that evening during prayer.
I sometimes feel helpless because when it comes to women’s rights I can’t say what I really feel because if I do I may be rejected or lose my freedom and become a slave myself. I feel trapped inside my own mind. I ask Allah why I was placed here. I don’t understand the reason for it. Helping the poor is not enough. Who said just because you’re a wealthy woman you get rights but if you are a poor woman you have to endure human men being you’re Gods here on earth. My mother has always taught me and my siblings to be great people. She herself was one. At times I feel pressured to do what’s right, like the world is watching me. Looking at me to live up to what my mother accomplished as a woman. I want to be like her and I have dreams to accomplish much more but sometimes I just want to be out of the eye of the public. I am only respected because of my mother’s name and I am afraid to step out on my own.
I hide behind my garments of clothing daily but not just to as a sign to show respect but because I am afraid to show the real me. Tomorrow I have a big day ahead of me I am sending some employees out to make trades. I never travel with my trade caravans like my mother didn’t. I prefer to handle business from home. I do have a man that I have my eye on as well but I am not sure if I want to ask for his hand in marriage. For now I will stay single and try to pull things together. I pray that when I have a daughter of my own that Allah makes things better for all women of Mecca.