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Addiction

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By kolbs242
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Oregon voters approved a ballot initiative last November that would allow adopted children to obtain their original birth records when they turn 21, regardless of the wishes of their birth parents. Legal challenges have prevented the Oregon law from taking effect so far, but adoption[pic] rights activists are already working to put similar measures before voters in other states. Only two states -- Alaska and Kansas -- currently give adoptees 18 and older unconditional access to their birth records. Nineteen other states allow limited access.

For your child, it is better to know who her relatives are, rather than be completely cut off from them. Open adoption may provide that option but the "openness" is risky. Read about the risks of open adoption. How long will things stay open? It may depend on whether the natural relatives and the people purchasing the child can agree on things. The first thing the natural mother should know is that she will be expected to "bow down and kiss the feet" of the adopters. Saying "yes, massa," and playing dumb is very important. But the question is - will it be good for the child, seeing his mother - or anyone - treated in this way?

Closed adoption leaves a mother and child suffering, wondering whether the other one is even alive. The child may assume his mother "just didn't want him". He may say he feels like a 9-month abortion. The adopters will emphasize that they DID want him - this will help to gain his allegiance to the adopters. And it may increase his anger toward his natural mom.
It's ironic how they say "adoption is best for the child". Whose kidding who here? Adoption is a divorce-like situation for a child, whose allegiance may be torn between his adopters and his own family members. This is true whether the adoption is open or closed.

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