The expression “Give her an inch, and she will take a mile, ” does not even begin to describe me. I am more like “ Give me an inch, and I will take a whole country and conquer it.” I have overcome so many hardships in my life. I started off with a Christian faith based girl. Who loved everyone, and did not care what people thought. A girl whose family meant more to her than water. A girl that didn’t know the evils of the world until she was sent out into the crossfire to experience it first-hand. A girl who would have never thought in her desolate dreams that she would soon turn her back on everything she ever believed in.
In my previous years, this war was just a game to me. It tested me, tempted me, teased me, and even at times ripped me apart. I never once realized how much destruction it could cause not only in the lives of my family, but as well as my own. During my freshman year, I felt like a new recruit. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had no inkling about the people I would meet, or the enemies I would make. No indication that success meant having to study every night. No clue that my faith would be tested in every way possible. Not even the slightest notion that the people I love most would be the people I would soon be pushing away. I didn’t expect to be so tired and worn out. Waking up at ridiculous hours of the morning; the foolish acts the school cast upon us, like weekly and sometimes daily metal detector checks. Honestly, I did not know what to expect, but it was nothing close to what I could have ever envisioned. The outrageous rules, and indescribably rude, not just students but teachers. After going through “Hell and High water,” education soon meant nothing to me. I thought my dream of becoming an obstetrician could be reached by skipping class and “ditching” after-school band practice. I soon, however, realized I was completely wrong, I needed to change.
During my sophomore year, my attitude took a drastic one-eighty. The “friends” I had did not seem so important anymore. I no longer cared what people thought of me. I don’t care what make-up I have on, or the outfits I wore. I was learning to find myself. I got back into studying, like I was always supposed to, and eventually I ended up studying; not because I had to, but because I desired to learn. After looking at my grades and friends from freshman year, socializing and texting every single second was not as important as it once felt. Along with my new found attitude, I found multiple social clubs to join. Most were after school organizations like FCCLA, or HOSA ; these were different things that would keep the temptation of skipping class off of my mind . It actually worked. Without me realizing it, band became a huge part of my life. Since my “friends” no longer wanted to hang out with me because of my new-found attitude, band and music were the only two things that kept me sane. My newfound dedication to school and involvement in after school activities caused the years to pass quickly. By the time my junior year came, I was just a generalized “nerd.” I studied every day, and on every test I tried as hard as I could. I realized that I really want to win this war, it is no longer just about the battles, there is an even bigger accolade to be won. If I was going to win this war, then I was going to have to change my whole life for it; and I did. Along with my new found sense of identity, I also found the faith I had unknowingly lost.
Growing up in a Christian home, help mold my childhood into an unforgettable one. My parents are very firm Christians, and believe that we must embrace the lord, and spread his word. Which to a child sounds like a bunch of religious gibberish, but after going through different trials and tribulations over the years with my family, I learned to walk by faith, and not by sight. One of the main tribunals that my family had to go through, which brought me back to the lord, was when my father fell ill with first cerebral-palsy, and then a very chronic heart disease. We as a family had to pull together, and lean on one another for the support and comfort of everyday life. Everyday was a battle for my father, just as it was for us. One of the hardest things though, was not knowing if our father was going to be alive as we kissed his forehead, said goodbye, and headed off for school. Throughout this whole time of sadness and pain, my father never once questioned God’s intentions. He did not ask “why me ?” He thanked him when he woke up, he prayed for the strength the continue on the journey that God has set for him.
The seasons turned once again, and it is now my senior year. I am the treasurer in student council, which is a whole other war all on its own. I still study every night for classes I do not even take anymore, such as Biology and Chemistry. The drive to learn and expand my view on knowledge was tantalizing. Although I do not take them, I still want to have a plan or a strategy like Lieutenant General Winfield Scott's Anaconda Plan during the American Civil War. I want to make sure that nothing escapes. I want god to be proud of me again. I do not want him to look down upon me and see I life full of sin. I want him to see me...the real me.
I know in my heart that the lord and my savior have always had a plan for me. Although I got lost in the devils’ fog, and wondered down the wrong path, he will always help me find my way back. That is why God has chosen me to attend Abilene Christian University. Not because of the fun, and the partying like other colleges, but because it is a part of Gods’ plan for me. He sent me here to spread his word of love and joy. He helped me wash my hands of my old persona. Now I am ready to start a new life in Gods’ hands.