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Tawana Gant
English 102
Professor Hennicke
April 8, 2013
Open Adoption vs. Closed: A Narcissism Ride
Imagine being blind and experiencing the following. You’re 7 years old and your parents have just been in a devastating car crash and right before your eyes you’re now an orphan. Suddenly within weeks, you’re with a family that is in no relation to you and you have brothers and sisters but you do not know where they are because they have been placed with another family. Now having no source of connection with them, you feel emptiness inside because of this tragic change that has happened around you and your family within a short time span.

Personally speaking this would be incapacitating to be around a family that were no resemblance to me; who they were or where they came from, and having them make decisions about my life without having any benefaction of my choice. In what manner do the rights of others have to anyone’s information for medical records through a closed adoption process, halting any of the child’s connections? The steps of adoption is to give the child a better contingency at life, though to interfere and disconnect his or her life ties involving their bloodline and history would not be sufficient to their lives in anyway. In other words to have a closed adoption is like someone telling a child there is no way of acquainting with the birth family or simply there is no history to be told about his or her biological roots. Generally speaking parents who adopt or the parents who put their children up for adoption does not indicate that their not loved; most of the time the mothers who put their kids up for adoption do not want them to know that they have been adopted (Romanchik, 1). So when the new parents adopt the infant or child they will not know and will think that they weren’t adopted, and that the adoptees are their natural parents. Would I say this greed and pure selfishness on people’s opinions and actions?, because the feeling of maybe believing it’s about “me” wanting them to believe the child, and everyone to apperceive to accredit I am the real parent; having the recent family to know about the antiquity of the biological parent or parents. However, thinking about the child who did not ask to be conceived or brought into the world out of wedlock what that child wants out of the situation. If loving the child is the appropriate reason to adopting a child then open adoption is an absolute guarantee for the child when the right values, morals, guidelines and trust are put into place. Open adoption that take place give the advantage of having the sense of control having reduce the fear between the child and adoptees in protecting the relationship and the mourning of the birth mother. This helps inform and keep both the adoptive family and the birth mother understanding one another’s views of the situation as well as giving confidence (Carroll, 1). Adoptions have both disadvantages and advantages with open adoptions vs. closed adoptions; however closed adoptions are less likely to be chosen for the child as this stands for the rights of the child along with the care and safety they deserve. Today 80% or more of domestic infant adoptions are open adoptions because of reasons giving open respects to the birth mother and the child for a chance to be connected and feel intertwined with their history and one another (Watkins 3). Dealing with closed adoption the child has no idea of who his birth parents are or what his or her true roots are; also why he or she was given up for adoption in the first place. Resulting with the child most likely to develop and have emotional and psychological issues (Silber). Closed adoptions very well strain on biological parents as well from not knowing the cause to why they choose this certain type of adoption, bringing confusion to themselves.
Those who planned open adoption showed more attachment to their babies (unborn) and were much likely to seek and have support for their parental care to help them through their decisions in the adoption process (Lauderdale and Boyle 4); 1994 conducted study. Although many parents experienced more grief and mourning in the immediate post-adoption period than the mothers with adoption plans; closed adoption mothers that had reported non attachment to their unborn babies who had been hiding their pregnancies were less likely to seek parental care or receive any care at all to help through the process of adoption, having more difficulty accepting the loss of the child after relinquishment (Carroll). Proving that open adoption is a preponderant way for children because it gives a clean and open pathway for both the adoptive parents and biological parents to exchange information; providing any help with the child as time progresses; This also helps the birth mother to coupe and have closure. Opposed to closed adoption everything’s confidential, closed adoption is known to be a traditional trend which gives no relationship between the adoptive parents and the birth parents. Therefore in closed adoption mothers rather decide to do this because their preferring to keep their distance away from the child for emotional reason’s and decisions associated with the placement.
Often both sides have issues with various things such as sometimes feeling that they have nothing in common with them but the child, feeling distant from one another due to the fact that they may get along with one another but not have the necessary skills to build a relationship. The birth parents often feel that they have not faced their loss may have a troublesome time being around the adoptive family (Romanchick, 2). Over all, Open adoption relationships have provided warmth that comes from sharing difficulty as you may allow yourself to feel vulnerable to another human being and execute to that vulnerability at the time while being committed to the common goal of adoption which is the child. The birth family can be considered to be “good friends” of the family if and when they gather on the holidays or come around for the child’s birthday or any other special occasion just as a neutral family would do. Like any relationship open adoption will have peaks and valleys; but as challenges are accomplished both the adoptive family and birth family will learn what to expect from each other gaining the determination and the ability to make the relationship work. A study that had collected data having 100% of the adoptive parents involved agreed that the child was better off having contact with their biological birth parents or parent. Adoptive parents replied saying “I wouldn’t mind having an Open adoption anymore as they feel it’s an excellent way of adopting a child”; Studies had also shown Open adoptions are most likely to provide a comfort zone to many birth parents, helping them not to worry about the safety of their child with endangerment of (kidnappings, rape, drugs etc); (The National Association of Social Workers). Open adoption is a definite and exceptional way to go for adoption period; providing and protecting the child and both the adoptive family and biological family. The goals of Open adoption are to minimize the child’s loss of relationships, maintain and celebrate the adopted child’s connection with the important people in his or her life; allowing the child to resolve with the truth rather than fantasy, social movement toward less secrecy and the prizing of diversity including a variety of family structures that will allow a greater acceptance for Open adoption., According to Openness in Adoption: Child Information Gateway. Like many things in life there’s consequences and long-term effects, and in Open adoption most of the time the adoptees are satisfied with the choice they’ve made to keep an open relationship with the birth family; for the benefit of the child and helping especially the biological mother coupe with emotional distress from the decision made to actually keep open communication between families (Carroll). For the child it helps them develop well in the future such as having the feel of love without neglect, support and guidance helping them to feel secure. Closed adoptions rather lead to the child having the sense and feel of rejection from the birth parents feeling that he or she was not good enough for them (Freundlich, 4) even if feelings couldn’t be any further from the truth they carry around that rejection with them throughout their lives; endangering to project on to other relationships they may go through like boyfriends, girlfriends, marriages and even their own children. For example: An adopted girl, who had an closed adoption may constantly fear the people they come in contact to loving and caring about will abandon and reject them. Growing up in a closed adoption can be complicated for children to develop their own identities, as an essential knowledge of their personal history remains they often form fantasies of their “hidden” birth parents which could easily escalate into more serious problems eventually leading to shame, embarrassment and low-self esteem. (Berry and Pannor, 128). “Many children feel that they were given away because there was something wrong with them from the beginning.” (120). Open adoption is more commonly viewed positively than closed adoption throughout the years (Romanchik, 1). A study conducted in 1993 interviewed 32 people that were adoptive parents, 16 birth mothers and surveyed 75 adoptive parents; finding that 72% of adoptive parents were very pleased and satisfied with contact of the birth mothers in the child’s life. 15 of 16 birth mothers (99%) were satisfied with contact as well (Berry, 1991). As birth mothers are involved in their child’s life they find it comfortable to stay in contact with the adoptive parents because of guilt they feel not being able to deal with the emotional distress, as well as stressing in general from not having the child; Also being in denial of not understanding why they made the decision the way they did. Hoping that being around their child and being able to communicate and keep in touch with them can make them feel more of a person coping with the relinquishment. Roughly 2/3 of adoptions that take place are open adoptions being considered the best form of adoption, because of the benefits that could not only help the adoptive family adapt to the child, but so they child fairly gets information that’s righted to them from the adoptees and biological parents (Romanchik, 3).
Open adoption includes the biological parents and adoptive parents meeting and coming into contact with one another sharing full identifiable information, access to ongoing communication. In this type of adoption the birth family makes the adoptive family an extended family like other relatives within the family. The challenges and emotional feels involved in open adoption its prevalence are expanding proving guides for families allowing them to spare lives and make a difference; helping those children feel good about themselves and the adoption. The percentage rate of open adoption has increased since the 1944 with 50,000 adoption in the U.S. the greatest amount of open adoptions took place in 1970 with 175,000, these adoptions grew even more in the 80’s and 90’s as research and dedication became more encouraging to the principles of open adoption. *** Citation*** From this information, it is evident that open adoption started expanding more because closed adoption showed secrecy and no individual rights for the child resulting later to destruction, confusion, frustration and internal conflict with themselves (Freundlich 5).
There are four types of Open adoption 1.Least Open 2. More Open 3.Even more Open, and Most Open. In least open the birth mother reads about different adoptive families choosing the best one that sounds right for her child, she doesn’t leave her name but leaves information for the adoptive family for future references. In a More open adoption the birth mother and the ‘possible’ adoptive parents have the chance to speak on the telephone and exchange first names only. In an Even more open adoption the mother has the opportunity to actually meet the ‘possible’ adoptive family. In Most open adoption the adoptive parents and the birth parents share their full names, addresses, emails and telephone numbers right before the mother gives birth to the child. The birth mother stays in contact from that point on over the years by visiting, writing, emailing and calling according to Openness in Adoption: A Bulletin for Professionals. Open adoption works more sufficiently for children placed in infancy or those who have not been horribly damaged by abusing and neglecting by the parenting arrangements. Teens that had not been adopted from infancy or adopted at all do not struggle with identity issues- “Furthermore on the average adopted teenagers turn out terrific”, says the Search Institute in Minneapolis, Minnesota based on the research foundation.
A new rule to open adoptions has permitted teenagers to know the identities and backgrounds of their birth parents to establish trying a relationship with them. “Children need to have knowledge about their heritage”-Barbara Hutchison, Deputy of Director of BAAF Adoption and Fostering. In open adoption it’s definitely relevant to see the pros and cons come to down a big preference and difference; for the adopters that may feel that open support gives a feel of establishment for a relationship with the birth parents may reduce the chance of changing the birth mothers mind about placing the child. The maintaining and keeping up a relationship with the birth mother may also keep the child from being or becoming discontent or curious about the adoption, this can help the birth mother take much comfort to know that she can inform her child with any detailed information they may want to know or need to know in the future. Only about 25% of birth father is involved in the adoption planning process (Carroll). However, this has grown as open adoption is chosen more by birth mothers for their babies.
Open adoption is an excellent way for birth mothers, birth parents and adoptive parents who are looking to adopt a child. This way of adopting a child is a well oriented placement; it benefits everyone providing the safety, security and proper care from the adoptive parents as well as the biological parents too. As it is clear that through a closed adoption process the child isn’t in any way connected to his or her bloodline ties; causing destruction and discontentment in the child’s life. As people may choose to adopt for various reason or reasonable situations, the process can take many different directions once it starts, whether it may be a problem with the adoptive family or biological family there will always be problems that need to be addressed and worked through; from the time the child enters the adoptive family to the time the family dissolves away with time and age. It is stated that open adoption is a self sufficient way for children born because as any adoption happens children grow up finding that kids who are adopted are far better off in life than those who were never adopted at all; According to Open Adoption Advantages: American Pregnancy Association. Without doubt nor hesitation, with the proper education, nurture and care, hard work, dedication, and ability adoptive families and adopted children will make it through the grand process; helping the adoptive parents become the family that they dreamed of being for so long.