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Arguments Everywhere

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Submitted By titalupita
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I am more of an adversarial style because I am very direct and I’m not scared of saying what I feel even if I hurt someone. I have always preferred complete honesty and directness. I recently had an argument with my husband about picking up the plates from the table when everyone was done. In my house, everyone picks up their plate and puts it away. I wash the dishes myself but I like to have the table clean when we are done eating. We all do it together as a family, but lately my husband just stands up and leave everything in the table for my daughter and me to pick up. My daughter started telling me that it was not fair that we picked up while her daddy sat on the couch to watch T.V. The following day, my daughter and me left the table without cleaning it and went to the couch to see TV. and my husband had the audacity to tell us that we were lazy. I told him that I was just doing what he does and that I’m not going to pick anything up unless he picks up his plate because the only lazy individual at home is him. I told him that in our house we all follow rules and if you don’t listen or do your chores, he has to pick up the entire table by himself. He got mad and said that he wouldn’t do it, so I left the table as it was. By dinner time the table was the same and I still kept it firm that I was not going to bend the rules for him. I did not care if we had to eat standing with our plates in our hands because we are here to teach our kids manners. I told my husband that he was being selfish and irresponsible for a simple chore that didn’t take more than 3 minutes to do and that he needed to man up and follow rules like the rest of us. He was upset but I explained that I was not going to permit him to disrespect me by calling me lazy when he was the only being inconsiderate. In this argument I was trying to put him in my shoes and let him see that I once I make my mind up, I will not change it. I was trying to prove a point that we all are equal here and that no one is better than the other. I like that I am very direct but what I would like to change is that sometimes I need to be a little consensual. I need to learn how to chose my words more wisely and explain why he is wrong and how bad it looks for the kids to see their dad not following house rules. I don’t want my kids to start slacking off because of him being lazy. I need to be more considerate of his feelings and not disrespect him even if he does me because I shouldn’t lower myself that way.

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