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“Wrong Timings, Mixed Signals, and the Great Wall of China”

Have you ever wanted something? And I mean REALLY wanted it? More than wanting that Hogwarts letter to arrive via owl courier service. More than you wanting to somehow unread and “unwatch” the Twilight Saga. But then, the stars just won’t align for you and you feel like you are the only exception to the “happily ever after” everyone is supposedly entitled to? More often than not, these feelings are attributed to troubles of the heart and that’s what we’re going to discuss in this article. DISCLAIMER: Sorry folks but you’re not going to find advice or love wisdom in this article. This is solely meant for ranting and if you’re interested in that, well then, be my guest.

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First order of business: wrong timings. When one is single, the other is taken. When one is ready for something serious, the other just isn’t. One word: FRUSTRATING. This makes you want to go home to mama bear and throw a tantrum then cry afterwards. You actually wish someone would just pop their head in and say, “Oops! We just had a slight mistake in scheduling your lives. We will fix that right up for ya. Here’s a pie! ”. But noooo. Instead, they will tell you, “If you guys are meant to be together, then in the future you will find your way back to each other.” or “In another time, another place, maybe.” and my all-time favorite, “All this is part of God’s great plan for you”. Yes, you appreciate the effort to cheer you up but frankly, it just ain’t working. And more than empathy for your helplessness, what you want is for things to be fixed.

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Next up: mixed signals. Okay, I admit this one is not as futile as the first but it can be as equally maddening. Sometimes a person will give you nothing but confusion when it comes to relationships or rather, the lack of it. You look at that person and all you can see is a Rubik’s cube or a sudoku puzzle. Then the image rapidly turns into a knife or a bomb, maybe a shotgun? Finally, the image is that of a big tall bottle of cheap vodka then BOOM! You’re drunk. A plethora of emotions that constitute bewilderment, puzzlement, vexation, exasperation, and then the need to get rid of said emotions (hence, the vodka). Yes, this experience might seem familiar to you. This is him calling you his “girl” when you guys are alone but introducing you as a “friend” in front of his pals. Or her saying any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend then telling you that you’re like a big brother IN THE SAME F***ING SENTENCE!! See? Confusing. Yup, now would be a good time to put “Hot N Cold” by Katy Perry on repeat.

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Last but not least, the Great Wall of China. It doesn’t have to be that specific wall actually but for the purposes of this article let’s stick to that and feel free to relate it to your situation in any way. So here we go. You like her, she likes you (Yay) but then the parent’s won’t approve because they want her to end up with a Chinese dude (Nay). I am NOT saying that Chinese parents have this predisposition so please, no death threats. The “wall” that needs to be scaled doesn’t even have to be that of race. It can be of religion, profession, age, or even political party. Laugh all you want I already know it sounds very Romeo and Juliet and that is EXACTLY what bugs me. According to the romance novels and movies, love can overcome any obstacle right? RIGHT? Yeaa - no. You want to shout, “COME ON!! We live in the 21st century!”. The two of you can work it out if you’re both

strong enough and willing to face the music. But in the case that the other hesitates, are you willing to bring him/her to the fight with you especially if family is involved? Yeah, thought so.

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So what is the point in all of this? I’m not sure there is one. All I know is that when it comes to these particular topics in romance, there is no amount of consolation that will make you feel better. I guess it’s just that it’s one big ALMOST and its one that won’t ever cut it because almost being together is still not being together. It’s like getting 2nd place or getting one mistake in an exam. You came so close and now it hurts twice as much.