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Be Adult About It

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Submitted By vidita72
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Be adult about it, they say.

What does it really mean? Being Adult about something? I have heard this so many times, “Let’s all be adult about this” or “We are all adults here”. Somehow the positivity of this statement’s functional implication is overshadowed by the stupid assumptions which come with it very often.
By making this statement they mean being mature and composed. But it is humanly impossible to be that all the time and I will not settle with any other statement. I still feel inside all of us have the same instincts that we had as a child, when we weren’t expected to be adult about anything. We have the same fears, insecurities, love, tenderness, attachment, jealousy and protectiveness in us. Infact if possible these emotions have only become stronger as we have become “Adults”. Instead of acknowledging them, we are busy neatly tucking them under the carpet. Instincts are being pushed aside, feelings are being disregarded, and words remain unspoken. When I see toddlers, my faith in truth is restored. I love how there is always a solution for their problems. They just need to express them. It’s not because they are kids or their problems are small, it’s because they know what they want, they acknowledge their needs and exactly what they are feeling, and demand a solution for it. They also believe in what they are asking for.
What do we do? As we grow up we go in a cocoon of our own. We lose our articulation of thoughts. We all know exactly what we want and how we want it to be. But the negativity lurking around us makes us go into a different mode. Disbelief, denial, projection, rationalization and not knowing what you want are just a part of this mode. Thus being asked to be an adult now is equivalent to being asked to hide your emotions, sideline your feelings and act all tough. Act all tough for whom? It’s not for oneself, it’s for others again. I no longer believe that this is being mature and strong. I no longer believe that not dealing with your problems will make them go away. You know what’s mature? It is to be brave enough to accept that you feel certain things without being ashamed of them; it is to look out for oneself and silently walk away from the path of martyrdom. So next time if someone asks me to be an adult, I’ll need an explanation on that.

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