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Bec-V Written Exercise

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商务信函的书写规则(一)
写信的原则(Writing Principles)已从原来的3(Conciseness, Clearness, Courtesy)发展到目前的7个"C":

Completeness, Clearness, Concreteness, Conciseness, Correctness, Courtesy,Consideration)

实例

Dear Sirs,

Copper Wire

With reference to your letter of April 9, we are pleased to accept your offer of 100 tons of Copper Wire as per your Offer Sheet No.8/070/02B. Please go ahead and apply for your Export License. As soon as we are informed of the number of the Export License we will open the L/C by cable.

(信的本文汉译):

关于你们四月九日涵,我们高兴地接受你们第8/070/02B号报盘单所报100吨紫色铜丝。请着手办理申请出口许可证。 一经接到出口许可证号码的通知,当即电开信用证。

要求书信的"完整", 理由有三:

1. 一封完整的书信比一封不完整的书信,有更大的可能性带来预期的效果;

2. 一封完整的书信,有助于建立和表达友善关系;

3. 一封完整的书信,可以避免由于遗漏重要情况(情报)所导致的诉讼(Lawsuit);

4. 有时,某些不显眼的书信或文件,由于所提供的情况完整而又生动有力(Complete and Effective)而成为极为重要的文件。 一封信写得是否完整,建议用五个"W"来检验,既: "Who, What, Where, When 及Why(包括How)"

例如:在定货的信中,必须明确说明 "需要什么商品"(What you want) "

何时需要" (When you need the goods) "

货物发到何地何人收"(to Whom and Where the goods to be sent) "

如何付款"(How payment will be made) 如对对方的要求作出否定的答复时(如不能报盘,不能理赔等)应说明理由 "

为什么"(Why)

Clearness(清楚)

(一).避免使用可能产生不同理解或意义不明确的词汇 〈例一〉 As to the steamers sailing from Hongkong to San Francisco, we have bimonthly direct services. (从香港到旧金山有直达船,)但是bimonthly 究竟是一个月两次即半月一次呢,还是两个月一次?不明确。因此,最好清楚明白地说明"一个月两次"还是"两个月一次": (a) We have two direct sailings every month from Hongkong to San Francisco.(每月两次直达船) (b) We have semimonthly direct sailing from Hongkong to San Francisco.(每半月一次直达船) (c) We have a direct sailing from Hongkong to San Francisco every two month.(每两个月一次直达船)

(二)注意修饰词的位置,有时修饰词的位置不同,会导致不同的含意如: a) Please let us know what you wish us to do about this matter as soon as possible; b) Please let us know as soon as possible what you wish us to do about this matter. 以上两句中的""修饰的内容不同: a) 你们要求我们尽快做些什么。 b) 请尽快告诉我们。 所以 a) 可译成"请告你们要我们为此尽快做些什么"; b) 可译为"请尽快告知,你们要我们为此事做些什么"。

(三) 注意代名词,关系代词和先行词的关系按照英语习惯,句子中的代名词和关系代词一般是指离得最近的名词,因此要特别注意,以免引起误解或不清楚。 例句: 不好: They informed Messrs.John & Smith that they would receive an answer in a few days. 较好: They informed Messrs. John & Smith that latter would receive an answer in a few days.

(四)注意前后一致和紧凑,连贯 不一致:Being a certified public accountant, I am sure you can help us. 一致: Being a certified public accountant, you can surely help us. or; As you are a certified public accountant, I am sure you can help us.
商务信函的书写规则(二)
五)仔细和恰当地分段落(Paragraphing)商业书信要写得使人一读就明白,因此必须按照内容仔细和恰当的分段落,一般的分段落原则是一个段落一个意思(A paragraph for each point is a good general rule.). 现举例说明:

Dear Sirs,

It is reported in a domestic newspaper that the Iranian Central Bank has instructed the commercial banks to suspend their business of opening a new letter of credit as from the 3rd May for financial reason of foreign currency. Although it is said that this arrangement would be a temporary one and with establishment of new import policy this emergency arrangement would be lifted, we are much concerned about the outcome of this movement toward restriction of import to Iran and shall be obliged if you will kindly keep us well advised of development of this new arrangement especially in connection with import from France.

Yours faithfully,

以上这封信只有一段,供两句。第一句39字,第二句66句。 读后虽然能基本了解其内容, 但读起来很舒服。信的内容大体有三点: 1. 伊朗中央银行因外汇原因,通知个商业银行从五月三日起停止开立信用证; 2. 这临时措施,新的进口政策一订,这个措施可能取消; 3. 希望对方随时告之有关情况。 按照这三点,适当地分分段落,把信重新改写一下,可能读起来比原来的清楚易懂:

Dear Sirs,

It is reported in a vernacular newspaper that the Iranian Central Bank has instructed the commercial banks to suspend their issuing new Letters of Credit as from the 3rd May because of its decreasing foreign currency funds. Furthermore it is said that the suspension seems a temporary one and will be released with establishment if a new import policy. We are much concerned, however, about the outcome of this movement toward restriction of import to Iran. We, therefore, shall be obliged if you will keep us well informed of development of this new state of affairs, especially in connection with imports from France.

Yours faithfully,

Completeness

实例解说:

"Cellulose Tape 1/2"x 3yds, with plastic dispenser 700 doz./-ditto-but 1/2" x 5 yds, 1,000doz." 这是出口商接到的一份定单中有关商品品名,规格和数量的内容。中文意思是: "纤维素带(幅)宽半英寸,长3码,带塑料包装容器,700打;同上,但(幅)宽宽半英寸,长5码,1000打。

主要问题是后半句不清楚。 "ditto"在这里表示前面提到的商品名称纤维素带,但不能包括"带塑料包装容器",因此,幅宽半英寸长5码的纤维素带是否有塑料包装容器没有说清楚,不完整。 所以最好改成: "Cellulose Tape 1/2"x 3yds, with plastic dispenser 700 doz. Cellulose Tape 1/2" x 5yds,with plastic dispenser 1000 doz." 这样即完正,又清楚明确,不会引起误解。

商务信函的书写规则(三)
Correctness(正确)

商业书信必须写得正确,因为它涉及到买卖双方的权利,义务,厉害关系,是各种商业单据(如合同)的根据。 广义的说,商业书信的正确性表现在: (一) 运用正确的语言水平 (二) 叙述得正确 (三) 数字要正确 (四) 正确理解和运用商业术语 (五) 合适的写作技巧或方法,以及正确运用其他的六个"C"。

一.正确的语言水平
(1) 正式的和非正式的语言水平所用词汇比较 formal informal terminate domicile deem transpire conflagration edifice endeavor obtain; procure peruse remunerate utilize subsequent ascertain contingent upon anticipate interrogate end home think(or: believe) happen fire building try get read or study pay use next or following find out depending on expect ask
(2) 正式的和非正式的语言比较 formal informal Will attain the age of 18 years. Will be 18 years old Render us more detail We will institute a mail search Send us more information We will ask the post office to send out a tracer. We thank you in anticipation of this courtesy and assure you that it will be a pleasure to serve you in a similar manner We shall appreciate your helping us. Let us know when we can return the favor. Inform me of your intentions as to the liquidation of this balance Let me know when you can settle this account. Give consideration to a plan. Consider a plan This plan will effect a saving of $10,000. This plan will save $10,000. To effect certain modifications in a procedure contingent upon the concurrence of management To make certain changes if management agrees. The conclusions ascertaind from a perusal of the pertinent data is that a lucrative market exists for the product in this vicinity. The data studied show that the product is in good demand in this area.
(3) 避免使用不标准的语言水平不要说应该说 ain't hadn't ought irregardless nohow in regard to can't hardly between you and I where at isn't, aren't shoudn't regardless anyway regarding can hardly between you and me where 下列是用一内容三种不同语言水平的比较参考: Formal: Although Item 12 is enumerated in the report, the writer has ascertained that it is currently not in the organization's inventory or in the writer's possession. Informal: Although Item 12 is listed in the report, it's not in our stock now and I don't have it either. Standard: Irregardless of the report that item ain't on our shelves now, and I haven't got it either.

二. 叙述得正确商业书信的内容要叙述得正确,既不要说得不够(Understatement),更不要说得过头(Overstatement)。

[例一] This stove is absolutely the best (or: the very best) on the market. (这种炉子是市场上绝对最好的炉子。)这句话是用来介绍商品的,但没有具体介绍商品的性能,而是抽象地断定这种炉子是"市场上最好的"。这样介绍商品,不但不能达到推销的目的,反而使人对写信人有"卖狗皮膏药"的感觉。

[改写]Our model A195 is designed on modern lines and gives, without any increase in fuel consumption, 25% more heat than the older models. So you will agree that it is the outstanding stove for economy of fuel. (我们的A195型炉子是按近代样式设计的,在不增加燃料消耗的情况下,比其他各种旧式炉子温度高25%。所以,你会同意,这是优良的节约燃料的炉子。)

三. 字要正确.做对外贸易离不开数字。对商业书信中的数字的正确性要特别加以注意,有时"失之毫厘,差之千里"。甚至引起不同的理解。 (a)"以上","以下","以前","以后","从。。。到。。。"等的表达法 $2 or (and) above(over)

二美元和二美元以上 60dozen or (and) up (upward, upwards)不少于50罗的定单 5% up to 10% inclusive
商务信函的书写规则(四)
四. 理解和运用商业术语

一般常用的商业用语用字简洁,意义明确,使用得好,工作进行得顺利,使用得不好,就会引起混乱,误解,甚至产生不必要的纠纷,如:

You ask very short delivery for your order.写信的人原意是说"你们要求赶快交你们的定货。"可是short delivery不是快点交货的意思,而是"短交"的意思,这就用错了商业术语。因此,应该说: Your require quick(prompt) delivery of your order.

五. 合适的写作技巧或方法,以及正确运用其他的六个"C"

(1) 非英语国家的人学英语中普遍的弱点之一是不能正确地拼写(spelling)每一个英文字。拼写正确与否是一个很重要的问题。有时,一不小心,拼写错了,会误大事或出笑话。 你想买靴子,英文应该是BOOTS,要是拼写成BOATS就变成你想买船了。怎样才能正确地拼写?最好的办法是读得仔细,注意每个字的正确拼法及字母排列。要注意 音节(syllables) 字根(roots) 前缀(prefixes) 后缀(suffixes)有人就此写了首打油诗做了个"总结" I before E Except after C Or when sounded as A As in neighbor or weigh.其基本意思是说除了在字母C之后或是发音是[ei ]之外,通常是I在E之前。

现举例说明: (a) ie [发音i:] achieve, grieve, retrieve believe, niece, shield brief, piece, shriek chief, pier, siege field, pierce, thief fiend, relieve, wield fierce, reprieve, yield (b) ei [发音i:] ceiling, conceive, deceive, perceive, receive (c) ei [发音ei] feint, obeisance, sleigh freight, reign, veil inveigh, rein, weigh neighbor, skein, weight 例外: either, fiery, foreign, friend, heifer, height, inveigle, leisure, seize, sovereign, weird. 又如以ceed, cede,和sede结尾的动词中,只有三个普通的动词以ceed结尾,即:exceed,proceed 和succeed结尾的,如: acced, concede, intercede, precede, recede. 名词的复数形式也得注意,否则也要出错。

不过如何把名词的单数变成复数还是有规律的。 (a) 绝大部分的名词从单数变为复数时,只要在词尾加个""就行了。如: hat, hats; acrobat, acrobats; banana, bananas. (b) 单数名词的字尾是s, ch, x或z的复数,通常是加es, 如:mass, masses; patch, patches; tax, taxes; buzz, buzzes. (c) 以y结尾的y前是辅音字母的单数名词变复数时,把y去掉改为I再加es,如:city, cities; community, communities. (d) 以y结尾的y前是元音字母的单数名词变复数时, 只要在字尾加s, 如:money, moneys. (e) 以o结尾的而o前是元音字母的单数名词,在字尾加s就变为复数, 如:radio, radios. (f) 以o结尾的而o前是辅音字母的单数名词变成复数时,应加es, 如: buffaloes, calicoes, cargoes, dominoes, echoes, embargoes, heroes, jingoes, mosquitoes, mottoes (mottos), mulattoes, potatoes, tomatoes, tornadoes, torpedoes, volcanoes. 但有例外如: banjos, bolos, cantos, contraltos, dynamos, gigolos, octaves, pianos, quartos, silos, solos, sopranos, zeros. (g) 绝大多数以f结尾的名词,从单数变为复数时, 把f换成v再加上es,如:half, halves, scarf, scarves(or : scarfs) ; self, selves ; sheaf, sheaves ; thief, thieves ; wolf, wolves. 但有例外如: beliefs, chiefs, dwarfs, griefs, handkerchiefs, hoofs, mischiefs, roofs, staffs (h) 专有名词一般在字尾加s,构成复数,但以ch, s, x或z结尾的专有名词,则要加es如: the Kellys, the six Marys, the Finleys, the Harrises, the Foxes, the Heinzes. ( i ) 字母,数字, 记号或其他作这种用途的字的复数形式是在字尾加"s", 如:three m's; two 2's; if's and and's. ( j ) 某些外来字还保留其原来的复数形式: agendum------agenda focus----------foci alumna-------alumnae locus----------loci alumnus------alumni hypothesis-----hypotheses analysis-----analyses larva----------larvae axis---------axes parenthesis----parenteses bacterium----bacteria phenomenon-----phenomena basis--------bases radius---------radii chassis------chassis stratum--------strata crisis-------crises tableau--------tableaux datum--------data thesis---------theses 复合名词的复数通常是其中的主要字用复数形式,如: fathers-in-law; hangers-on; passers-by; by-standers; solicitors general; attorneys general(or: attorney generals); major generals; Knights Templar. 但也有都用复数形式的,如: nanservant, menservants; woman-servant, women-servants 以上例子说明, 英语的拼写是有一定规律的,只是多加注意,便可以逐渐掌握其规律。但是,任何规律都有其相对的例外,这就需要特别下工夫。
商务信函的书写规则(五)
(2) 正确使用大写(Capital Letter)

一般在每一句,每一个直接引语,每一行诗的第一个字要大写,人的称呼或头衔,书名等要大写,专有名词要大写,月名,星期几要大写,代词I要大写。这是使用英语必须具备的起码的知识。因此,大写使用的正确与否,也是英语水平问题。除了上述一般大写规律以外,在商业书信英语中的大写,还有其本身的特点,现说明于下: (A)North, South, East, West 这四个字作为一般方向用时小写, 但是当它们作为一个地理概念表示北方地区,南方地区,东方地区,西方地区,或专有的地名联用时,就必须大写。 [例]Cotton is the principal crop in the South; it is also grown extensively in the Southwest and in the Sou thern California (棉花是南部各州的重要作物,西南各州和加利福尼亚南部也广泛种植。) (B)商品名称从语法上讲,一般的商品名称(非专有名词)没有必要大写。在商业书信中为了强调()或要促使对方注意,商品名称常常大写。 [例]We have seen your advertisement in the "Textile World" and should be glad if you would send us patterns of Ladies' Woolens with your best terms. (我们看到你们在"织物界"杂志上的广告,请寄妇女用毛织物样本并告最优惠的价格条件。) (C)文件名称 [例]we have quoted our best terms on the enclosed Price List. (我们已随函寄送价目表报最优惠价格条件。) ( D ) 公司,团体,城市名称省略时大写 [例]The Company will pay you $100 annuity. 该公司将付给你年金100美圆。 (E)职务名称 [例]There is enclosed a letter from Mr. H.A.Anderson, President, National City Bank of New York. (同函俯上花旗银行行长安得逊先生所写书信一封。) (F)船名 [例] We have shipped the goods by the m.v."London Maru" of OSK. (货已由大阪轮船公司的"伦敦丸"轮装运。)

Conciseness(简洁)

"简洁"是有客观标准的。虽然西方国家的作者之间在怎样用词才算"简洁"方面还是有争论的,不过他们的一些看法还是有一定参考价值的。

怎样才能使商业书信"简洁"? 西方国家作者有很多建议,先介绍如下:

(一) 避免使用陈旧的商业术语
陈旧的与传统的商业术语(Commercial jargon)对信的内容没有什么作用,应该避免使用。

例一: Wordy: We wish to acknowledge receipt of your letter of November 14 with the check for Stg.10 enclosed and wish to thank you for same. Concise: We appreciate your letter of November 14 and the check for Stg. 10 you sent with it. 例二: Wordy: We take liberty to approach you with the request that you would be kind enough to introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your cities. Would you please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city? Concise: (a) Please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city. (b)Would you please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city. (注:此类简洁的表达方式很多。)

(二) 要长话短说,避免罗嗦
通常商业人士每天需要阅读大量的书信,对开门见山,长话短说,直接切题的信特别欢迎。因此, 写信要力求长话短说,

例如:不要写 应写作 Please see that an enquiry is conducted to determine the reason. Please find out the reason. We express our regret at being unable to fulfill your order on this occasion. We are sorry we cannot meet your present order. 要使用简洁的语言,有可能的话, 尽量使用单词来代替某些娇柔做作的短语。

删去不必要的形容词,如下列句子中的形容词或副词删去后并不影响句子的原意: The proposal is under (active) consideration. The answer is (definitely) correct. I would (rather) think the fare is too high. The (true) facts are as stated

(三) 要注意每句句子的长短

例如:"We would like to know whether you would allow us to extend the time of shipment for twenty days, and if you would be so kind as to allow us to do so, kindly give us your reply by cable without delay." 这句话过分"客气",使句子过长而不清楚。内容要求对方同意延期交货20天,一般情况下,应尽可能提出延期到那一天的具体日期。这句话可压缩为:"Please reply by telegram immediately if you will allow us to delay the shipment until April 21."(如同意我们把交货延期到四月二十一日,请电复。) 有的作者为了使人们记住避免使用陈旧的商业术语,专门选择了一些他认为陈旧的商业术语搞成一首诗: We beg to advise and wish to state That yours has arrived of recent date. We have it before us, its contents noted; Herewith enclosed are the prices we quoted. Attached please find, as per your request, The data you wanted; and not let us suggest Your order be sent, and not held unduly, We beg to remain, yours most truly.转

商务信函的书写规则(六)

Courtesy(礼貌)

COURTESY译成"礼貌"。但是根据西方国家函电书籍作者普遍的看法,所谓COURTESY是"客气而又体谅人"的意思。有的作者还把COURTESY和POLITENESS这两个同义词做了比较,认为:POLITENESS的客气只是表现在文章的语句上,而COURTESY则表现在对对方的"体谅",例如: [POLITE]

a) We have received with many thanks your letter of Oct.7, and we take the pleasure of sending you latest catalog. We wish to draw your attention to a special offer, which we have made in it. [COURTESY]

b) you will be particularly interested in a special offer on page 5 of the latest catalog enclosed, which you requested in your letter of Oct. 7. 不要写 建议写 You ought to Perhaps you could…… Your letter is not clear at all; I can't understand it. If I understand your letter correctly... Obviously, if you'd read your policy carefully, You'd be able to answer these questions yourself. Sometimes policy wording is a little hard to understand glad to clear up these questions for you.

怎样通过各种语言形式来表达COURTESY呢? 这样的形式很多,现在提供一些常见的供参考:

(一) 把命令变成请求的常用形式: Please, Will you…….., Will you please……..,如: a) Will you give us more detailed information on your requirement? b) Will you please (kindly) let us hear from you on these two points?

(二) 虚拟式(Past Subjunctive From)如: a) Would you compare our sample with the goods of other firms? b) We would ask you to ship the goods by the first available vessel. c) We wish you would let us have your reply soon. d) This would seem to confirm our opinion. e) We should be grateful if you would help us with your suggestion. f) We think if advisable that you should accept this offer at this price. g) We should(would) like you to let us know the exact amount. h) Perhaps you might like to have a look at the actual goods. i) We might be of some service to you in a similar case. 以上的b, f, g, 也可用 will, shall, may, 但是用Past Subjunctive Form则表示更客气和婉转些。

(三) 缓和用法(Mitigation) 为了缓和过分强调或刺激对方,常用: We are afraid, we would say, we may(or, might) say, we(would) think, it seems(or would seem) to us, we(would) suggest, as you are (or: may be) aware, as we need hardly point out等等表达法来缓和语气,如: a) It was unwise of you to have done that. We would say that it was unwise of you to have done that. b) You ought to have done it. It seems to us that you ought to have done it. c) We cannot comply with your request. We are afraid we cannot comply with your request. d) Our products are the very best on the market. We might say that our products are the very best on the market. e) You must keep the matter to yourselves. You must, we would add, keep the matter to yourselves. f) You must cut off your order in half We would suggest that you cut your order in half. g) We have not yet had your reply. It appears that we have not yet had your reply.

商务信函的书写规则(七)

(四) 运用被动语气 有时,运用被动语气,比主动语气客气,如: a) You made a very careless mistake. A very careless mistake was made b) You did not enclose the check with your order. The check was not enclosed with your order. c) For the past two years, you did not give us any order. For the past two years, no order has been given us. Or: For the past two years, no business has been materialized between us.

(五) 避免(或力争避免)使用语气强烈或容易引起不快的词汇 a) we demand immediate payment from you demand的意思是ask for(sth) as if ordering, or as if one has a right to, 即带有命令意味的要求。非不得已,应尽可能避免使用demand而改用request 如: We request your immediate payment. b) We are disgusted with your manner of doing business. disgust意味hate而且有strong feeling of dislike or distasted, 既"厌恶"的意思, 因此,还是婉转或含蓄一些为宜,如: We are not completely satisfied with your manner of doing business. c) We must refuse your offer. Must………带有威胁性的意味(minatory tone),不如改为: We regret that we are unable to accept your offer. Or: We regret that we are not in a position to accept your offer. d) We want you to assist us 带有傲慢或长者的口吻(superior tone),不如改为: Your assistance would be appreciated.

(六) 使用高兴,遗憾,感谢等词汇及表达法

(1) We have pleasure of -ing……. We have pleasure in -ing……. It is with pleasure that we do so It gives us(great, much) pleasure to do so We are pleased for us to do so It's a pleasure for us to do so. We are glad(or: delighted) that you do so We shall gladly do so We shall feel happy if you will do so We are happy to do so

(2) 表示感谢的表达法有: We are (very, most) appreciative of your doing so We are gratified to learn that you do so We shall be (or: feel) obliged by your doing so We shall be obliged if you will do so You will oblige us by doing so We shall be grateful to you if you will do so We shall appreciate your doing so We shall appreciate it if you will do so We shall thank you to do so It will be appreciated if……. We are thankful that you do so

(3) 表示遗憾的表达法有: It is a matter for regret that we cannot do so It is with regret that we must do so We express our regret at -ing….. To our regret we cannot do so It is regrettable that we must do so We regret that we cannot do so We regret to do so It is to be regretted that you do so We are regretful that we must do so It is a pity that you cannot do so We are sorry we cannot do so We are sorry to do so 注:以上的表达法只是常用的一部分。

写信要做到COURTESY,但要注意 :

(1) 不要使用已经过时的毫无意义的老套子,如: our esteemed clients; your esteemed letter; your respectable house; your good self(or good selves); your valued order; your esteemed reply等等

(2) 要分清"礼貌"与"卑恭"的界限,如: (a) We are extremely and sincerely sorry for the error and ask that you accept our humble and sincere apology for the undue inconvenience suffered by you. b) We beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 11th December. b) We beg to enclose herewith our invoice. 这三例不是"礼貌",而是"卑恭"。写商业书信既不要盛气凌人,也没有必要低三下四,更应该注意在商业信中把we beg一类的表达法完全去掉。

以上三例可考虑改为: a) We are concerned about the inconvenience you have suffered, and apologize sincerely. b) We have received your letter on Dec. c) we enclose (herewith) our Invoice. Or: We are pleased to enclose our Invoice

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