Using Language Effectively
Jeffrey Iverson
Comm/200
1/30/2015
Professor Rayshad Holmes

Using Language Effectively

I believe today, it is simple for us to have diverse barriers when it comes to listening when our lives become a bit stressful, demanding, and full of activities. During my life, I have experienced this personally and it is easy to happen. There have been studies that discovered that many of us would not listen to those who are close to us personally than those who are not as close to us. The study stated that a couple that is married would most likely interrupt one another more when they are communicating. I remember when I was in grade school I had difficulty when it came to listening as well as remembering some subjects that I felt was not interesting or relevant. I would forget in one day what the teacher had taught me that day. The most common barriers I see I had back then were self-absorbed, unchecked emotions, and listener apprehension. One of my barriers when it came to me listening was my emotions that were unchecked. This is known as when someone have an emotional condition and he/or she allows it to hinder them from listening. During the last couple of years, I have been experienced trying times with my family. Unfortunately, the affects of our trials and tribulations had a negative effect on me and I did not truly wanted to listen or discuss some situations. When my spouse and I had a conversation, concerning sensitive subjects I let my emotions take control and I did not pay attention to what she was saying that could have made our relationship better. Do to this it took me awhile to come up with a strategy to prevail over that barrier in my listening. The only true method I came up with was to remove my emotions from our situation for the reason that it was putting a strain on our relationship. Unfortunately, it took awhile to do this. Do to that I experienced another type of barrier when it came to my listening I was afraid to realize what was needed by me to make things work as well as what I was going to hear from her. Since I was very much self-absorbed in my own life and wanting to better my life I was too self- centered and did not think I wanted to hear what others was telling me I did not want to listen. I let my guards down to prevail over this and I knew I had to listen if I was going to better this. I also feel I went through listener apprehension since I had this I was afraid of what I was going to hear. I did not listen to my family so that I could get them to see what I was going through and to support them in making a change to better the situation. I just went into a shell and not listen to the facts for a long time by not listening or believing what they said when they needed my help when I removed my emotions things got better. Since I did that, I started to listen and comprehend what they were asking of me. Once I did these things got better and my thinking got better but it did take some time. I simply had to remove my emotions in order for me to realize what I had to do to make things better. I had to stop being self-centered and that let me listen to what was going on. Also once, I stopped placing myself in those situations things got better and was listening clearer but it did take awhile to accomplish this. I believe if I had listened prior to all that things would have been better then. I now realize by removing my emotions and self-centered flaw it helped me prevail over my personal barriers of having self-absorbing, listening apprehension, and my emotions that were unchecked. In addition, when I overcame my fears I started to listen and comprehend a lot better. I believe when it come to our relationships that are personal as well as the things we do not want to listen to, the barriers of listening will come about and stop us from realizing what is truly happening. I went through this personally and did not know I put those barriers up. My unchecked barriers were the hardest to overcome. I was not able to listen to what was happening because of my emotion. That was the cause of my other barriers such as listening apprehension and self-absorbed. The results of this were poor listening and it took me more strategies to overcome this. By experiencing this I realized that I cannot let my emotions to control me when I have to listen to others I now realize how it hinders my judgment but I did learn how to use strategies that will make me a better listener when I encounter my hard times.