I have been dying to share my story about my amazing daughter and son for some time now, it's always on my mind but I never have been able to tell it to many people because of time. So here is FINALLY my chance to do so!

My daughter MacKenzie Joy Lusk was born to me and my hubby on 7/7/7 in Paradise, California. With a full head of dark hair that never fell out. Everyone told me that she was lucky, well, those numbers are amazing, I have to say. Shortly after that we moved to Oregon, she was a normal kid that was very happy, and it was fun being a stay at home mom enjoying her. Around ten months my daughter started acting strange, crying more, not eating as much, lying around not wanting to really socialize. We just thought she was teething or growing or something else. One day we were at a family member’s house (who raised 3 girls) and our daughter's anus started bleeding, but thankfully stopped. We asked our family member if that ever happened to her with her three girls, but she just looked at us and shook her head.

One week my husband, (who at the time worked with a school) went away to camp with his class and I just started Esthetician school, so it was hard for the first time to give my baby up to her babysitter. This sitter though, was a personal friend and an amazing mother herself so it wasn't as hard as it could be. I went home from school to pick up my daughter and the sitter told me how she was worried because of the lack of moving, eating, etc. that was going on with Mackenzie. Also she had a horrible diaper rash that would not go away. I told her that she is just probably teething or missing mommy or something because I didn't want to be dramatic or overreact to the situation. Well, this continued, so I decided to take Mackenzie in to the doctor after a day more of it, even though her check up wasn't that long ago. The doctor was checking her out when I told him all the things he needed to know. I also mentioned to him that we weren't neglecting her, but we just haven't been able to kick this diaper rash no matter how much cream or how many dozens of diapers we went through. He eyed me oddly after I said that and then left, after a while he came back and told me he is going to contact CPS after looking at MacKenzie situation. I cried, thinking "God, why now when my hubby is gone and I just started school... I am not this strong." I looked at the doctor and said "Alright that is fine, I am hurt you think I am that kind of mother but I understand you want to protect her." I cried all the way home praying, looking at my motionless daughter... When I got home the doctor had called and said that he was going to wait to call CPS after consulting another doctor and wanted to see Mackenzie again soon.

My hubby got home later that day... I cried on him...went back to school and got a call from my Husband saying MacKenzie's butt cheek and swollen up and he was taking her back to the doctor. That night we went to the Hospital, got a cat scan and were informed that she had a tumor and we were being sent to Doernbecher Children's Hospital in Portland. I also found out that night from my husband that he was let go from his teaching position... no job, and a dying child. After losing it completely in the hospital room, so much that they told me to calm down because I was scaring Mackenzie...I thought my life had just ended... I was 23 years old... I felt and still feel over 50. I can't explain the feeling when they told me that she had a tumor... Everything goes dim and slow I just remember thinking, this is something that happens to people in Readers Digest, or that drinks or smokes when they're pregnant. Not me, I didn't even go near microwaves out of paranoia... You also experience shortness of breath and complete panic; nothing makes sense except to freak and to let it out. It seemed like the more you freak out the quicker you'll wake up... it's strange.

We rushed that night to Portland, The doctors at Doernbecher were amazing, they diagnosed, treated and loved on Mackenzie. The nurses there were simply amazing, they have touched our lives forever and we will never forget their kindness. They made MacKenzie laugh and even danced for her. We had volunteers that would come in and sing, play instruments and entertain Mackenzie. There is also an organization that is called the candle lighters that paid for us to have new tires so we could travel safely 6 hours to and from Portland, and also offered to pay our rent if we couldn’t. There is a condition during Chemo that kills your immune system, after receiving her first round we were sent home till her next one was due. We were a little stressed because we left our house in a rush so we didn’t have time to clean. My family that I mentioned earlier that live 20 min a way in a small town called Bonanza came out and scrubbed ceiling to floor our house. Needless to say when we came home everything was flawless and all stuffed animals were out in the garage. A little bit of peace was there during the mad chaos. My Husband and I were so thankful (in a very strange way) that he lost his job when he did. I was able, (Also MacKenzie) to have the support of my husband during this whole period. My husband is such an amazing man, we had to administer shots to MacKenzie’s thighs to boost her immune system and he did it every time for me. I couldn’t emotionally handle shooting our precious baby girl intentionally, even though it was good for her.

We had to shave her head on her 1st birthday, no friends could be around because her immune system was gone, so she ate her cake bald, only with mommy and daddy, and with a PICC line in her arm. (I didn't want to scar her skin with the surgeries involved in a port, I am vain, and figure my daughter would appreciate that later in life.)

My Mother who lives in California took lots of time off to be with us at the hospital, we had visits from my brother Tom and his wife Geneva, Mother in law, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, dear Friends had all come and show their support and love. *tear* I was able to meet some more parents of children on that floor who had cancer. I felt a weird guilt after doing so, we HAD hope of our daughter living through this, other’s did not. After four rounds of chemotherapy, it was surgery time. My hubby found a job and started working so I was going to have to face this one alone. My Mother and Father were able to drive all the way from California to be with me. Which was an event that has touched my life and I will never forget. So, in to the hands of a surgeon that I didn’t know personally, I placed my daughter, our most valuable gift that has been given to us, and into the arms of my parents and my God I rested and cried and waited.

Hours later I saw MacKenzie, they removed her tumor that was wrapped around her coccyx (tailbone) and removed the tailbone itself. She was skin and bones with no hair but she was cancer free…we got ourselves a beautiful, normal healthy daughter. Found out we were preggo a little bit after the surgery, had a healthy pregnancy and our son MacLaine was born, healthy but not breathing well at all. He was life flighted out of our town to another and spent two weeks in oxygen therapy. A normal thing for children to have is brain damage or blindness from oxygen therapy. MacLaine had neither, and we thank God for our two (Now normal and rambunctious) healthy children. There are so many amazing things that happened during this that I WISH I had time to tell you all *tear* Maybe I should write Readers Digest.. haha :) MacKenzie has AFP tests that she does every six months to make sure nothing else pops up, but other then that nothing but a scar on her bottom. MacLaine has no check-ups or anything medically wrong with him. They are currently 3 and 1 years old and are enjoying torturing each other